update more questions..mommas..anyone had major surgery with a small child at home?

Will find out for sure in a week or so but its pretty sure. If I get this surgery I will literally not be able to care for my ds 16m for at least 2 months. Like bedridden practically(ie no lifting carrying bending driving) Completely shittting myself scared. Will be out of work so no income so hiring full time help is not possible. My ds is awesome but heavy fast and uber active. Not only am I logistically trying to figure this out but I cannnnnnnnot imagine not caring for him. Missing so much.emotionally terrifying If anyone has been through this please advise. I know there would be some help from mil but she works too. I guess I just need to know it can be done and not go into depression from missing ds and guilt from dumping everything on dh :( thank you!!!! Update ty to all who posted...besides family did any of you utilize a home health care person if dh or family needed additional help? And also did you feel like your dc lost a connection with you at all while you were unable to be there? I know I will have more questions so thank you again and in advance!! Oxox:

Message edited 9/15/2013 10:57:25 AM.

mommas..anyone had major surgery with a small child at home?

I had four surgeries in 3 mths while my twins were 4-7 months I spent 15 days in the hospital. It is very hard but can be done you have to take care of yourself so you can take care of him

Lots of prayers and hugs

Re: mommas..anyone had major surgery with a small child at home?

My DH had major back surgery, and wasnt able to lift the kids for over 2 months, and he was bedridden during that time as well.

It was very hard on him, and I tried my best to get the kids to understand and love on him in ways that worked for him. He also had an incision on his left side, so I could only allow one child near him at a time. But id set up breakfast in bed for him and my DD and DS would switch off each morning, and then they would cuddle after and watch a movie or play apps on the ipad etc. He also did bed time stories at night with them both.

I didnt allow the kids to go to the hospital bc when my son was 18 months and I had my DD he was afraid of me bc of the wires etc, just in case u do bring your DS to the hospital, just know that it might be a short faze.

Goodluck and I hope if you do get the surgery everything goes well and u r able to transition easy at home!

Re: mommas..anyone had major surgery with a small child at home?

Yes I had major surgery to remove a grapefruit sized tumor about 1.5yr ago. My girls were 2 and 1 at the time. I had to have 24/7 around the clock care here at home because I could not lift them, climb stairs, barely even shower on my own. It was rough and I hated having someone here with me every second of the day but they were super active and I needed the rest.
We had family and friends volunteer to help out for about 6wks. I was told to hold out til 8 wks but I couldn't do it . I hated being so stranded so I built up my strength and little by little everyday started doing things with the girls again

Re: mommas..anyone had major surgery with a small child at home?

You are going to need full time help, esp in the beginning few weeks after surgery and while you are at the hospital.

Can your family help if you can't afford to hire help?

Will your DH be able to take some time off?

I had surgery last month. I spent 8 days in the hospital and then for about 2 weeks, I spent most of my time in bed. I have 2 boys (ages 2 and 4) that require a lot of work. Our kids attend preschool 9-3:30 everyday.

DH took 5 full days off of work and then worked half days for another 3 days, BIL lives one hour away and came for 2 full weekends and would come half days to help out, my parents came and stayed with us for 2 weeks, our old nanny helped out whenever she was available.

At around 3.5 weeks after surgery, I was able to drive the boys to preschool at 9 daily. DH just couldn't take more time off from work. I could not lift up the boys so I had them climb into the car seats. They were surprisingly understanding that mommy had a big boo boo.

I was feeling a lot better but we attended a wedding last weekend where DH was a groomsmen. I lifted 2yo DS for the first time and I was in a lot of pain the day after.

I am back to taking it easy and do no lifting. It has been about 4 weeks since surgery.

eta: I don't think you should feel guilty dumping everything on DH. He is your husband! My DH was beyond exhausted by week 3. I don't think he realized how much moms do.

Message edited 9/13/2013 10:52:06 PM.

mommas..anyone had major surgery with a small child at home?

I had a spinal fusion when one daughter was barely 2 and the other was 11 mths. My last time nursing the little one was right before I left four the hospital. I had all sorts of restrictions for the first 6-8 weeks, but I found ways to play with them and hold them. I had help for about 6 weeks. My first day alone I was stupid. There had been a snow storm and I wanted them to get to play. I got them dressed, carried them down two flights of stairs and played for a few minutes. Then gloves fell off, they wanted to go in, but wouldn't walk. I tried to pick them back up, screamed out in pain and couldn't get up myself at first. I called out for help but nobody heard and the kids were screaming by this point. So I just used my very last bit of strength to scoop them up and make it back up the stairs. Called dh who then left work and came home. Spent the next few days a little mores laid up than I had been, but then started recovering again. All in all, as long as I had someone around to literally do the heavy lifting, it was all fine. I was playing with the kids while kneeling pretty much the day I came home from the hospital.

Re: mommas..anyone had major surgery with a small child at home?

I had major surgery when my DD was 17 months old. But she wasn't a typical toddler...couldn't walk or anything, so was practically still a baby. DH had no choice but to help a lot.

Will your DH be able to take time off? Have him take the time off when you're home, not when you're in the hospital. Take help from whoever will offer it. Even if you can get a friend a day to come over for a few hours to help you. My MIL taught my DD to climb up onto the changing table, using the stepladder so I didn't have to lift, and you can do the same thing with a stepstool to get your DS into the highchair, and carseat as well. I was worried that it would carry over to wanting to climb everywhere all the time, but it didn't. As long as the stepstool or stepladder wasn't there anymore, she didn't look to climb.

You and DH may have to do some creative scheduling and adjusting to get through the first few weeks, when it is more critical for you to not lift at all, but it can be worked out.

Re: mommas..anyone had major surgery with a small child at home?

Re: mommas..anyone had major surgery with a small child at home?

I had surgery when DS was 5 months old. Luckily, my inlaws watched him while DH worked and when I came home from hospital, DH took time off of work.

I just had another surgery a few weeks ago. Even though DD is 4, she's just starting to walk and is still in diapers.
DH took time off and he also worked from home.
DD went to school (I had surgery the day before her last day) and my MIL picked her up one day and then DH the next.
My poor kids were stuck inside for a week and a half after. I did set up play dates which was great for the kids AND me. I got to have mommy time with family and friends as the kids played.

Definitely see if your DH can take time off. If you can't lift or anything, DON'T. I tried to lift DD and the pulling I felt was unreal. Just listen to the dr.s and get help if you can.