How do you talk to toddlers about death?

My mom recently lost her battle with lung cancer. She was extremely close to my twins. The hardest thing I ever had to tell them was Nana went to heaven. My heart is broken, but I don't think they fully understand why Nana doesn't come over anymore. They are only 22 months and I want them to understand Nana loves them, but she was very sick. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Also, I would like to do something special for them from her, like have some of my mom's clothes made into a blanket for them. I'm not sure where to get this done. Any ideas what I can do for them to remember how special they were to her. It's so unfair they won't know her or remember all the great times they had with her. I will keep telling them how special she was, but its not the same without her.

How do you talk to toddlers about death?

Kim I am so sorry that you along with the kids have to experience loss. I would just put a nice picture in frame & maybe hang in there room. (I have one hanging of my dad) and continue to tell them, Nana loves you. Say Hi to nana etc & explain she is in heaven. I think they will understand more then we realize. I am here if you need anything

How do you talk to toddlers about death?

As far as the quilt goes, just google memorial quilt & you will get a ton of links.
http://www.seamstobeyouandme.com/2012/01/29/memorial-quilts-from-clothes/

How do you talk to toddlers about death?

I'm so sorry for your loss! I agree with what the PP wrote. Death is abstract for toddlers so it can be difficult to understand, so showing them pictures and talking about her would be what I would do as well.

I wanted to add that my grandfather died when I was 17. That Christmas, my great-aunt had teddy bears made with his shirts for each of us. It is still one of my most treasured possessions. I'm not sure what company she used but it's another thought!

How do you talk to toddlers about death?

I'm so sorry for your loss. There might be some children's books that deal with losing a Nana. As for the quilt, I used Oh Sew Stephanie who is on fb and etsy. If you search old threads I have a pic of the quilt I had made out of baby clothes

Message edited 7/27/2013 10:10:54 PM.

Re: How do you talk to toddlers about death?

Sorry for your loss. At 22 months they will not understand. If they ask where she is or when is she coming over just keep reminding them she is in Heavan.
You can talk about her and teach them how special she was as they get older. Keep pictures around.
In addition I wouldn't stress that she got sick and died because they might become concerned when anyone gets sick they may disappear.


My boys uncle died when they were 2 and 3 last year and they just say he is in heaven now. There are times they remember things about him and we just reinforce the memory.

Re: How do you talk to toddlers about death?

I am not sure but would love advice too I have no idea how to explain the cemetery to my three year old. My father passed almost 10 years ago and I do not know how to explain.

My FIL is also very sick and we need to prepare ourselves for this conversation. My son's grandpa is his best bud. THAT will be the hardest conversation I have ever had.

How do you talk to toddlers about death?

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is a really hard thing to get through. One of my nephews was 3 when my mom passed away and the other was 5 (their "Nanny"). The 5 year old defintely understood more than the 3 year old, but we told them that Nanny went to heaven, that she was always there for them to talk to, even though they couldn't see her, that she is in their hearts, and that she would always be there to watch over them, and we always answered their questions. My brother and his wife keep pictures of Nanny in the house and talk about her, remember the things she liked to do with the boys and special things between her and each of them (nicknames etc that she had for them), to keep her memory alive for them.

They might not undertand everything you say right now, but as they get older, they will grow to understand and as long as you talk about her and how special they were to her and keep an open dialogue, they will be comfortable coming to you with any questions they have.

Message edited 7/29/2013 12:50:02 PM.