Anyone else feel this way?

I'm all too familiar with what it feels like to walk past a pregnant lady and feel like absolute CRAP about my situation. I remember walking through the mall with my dh and being able to count the pregnant women I'd pass on two hands (because of course when you're not pregnant, it seems like EVERYONE is) and it would make me feel so sad.

Sometimes I wish I could put a sign on my belly that says "many years, multiple losses, multiple IVFs, and a few canceled surrogate cycles to get here"

Since I'm getting pretty big, I get belly stares almost everywhere these days. I just hate the idea that someone should look at me and view it as a reminder that they are not pregnant. I wish there was a way to tell people I worked for this belly and how it took zillions of tears over many years of heartache.

Message edited 6/27/2013 6:35:46 PM.

Re: Anyone else feel this way?

Sometimes. It's horrible that even when something good happens, it kinda of kills your mood when you know it's not happening for everyone. But I think I feel that way about most things not just pregnancy. Why is this person poorer, sicker, out of work, etc. Unfortunately its life but also human to feel for those less fortunate.

Re: Anyone else feel this way?

Pennycat - I do know what you mean. I'm not currently PG - just had loss, but when I was PG with DS, or even now walking around with DS - I thought/think about that. That I hope I'm not causing someone that pain in the heart we've all felt, that I wish they knew- hey I'm a success story, it can happen. I think with the road we've all been down, its such a part of us, and makes us more conscious that others may not have an easy road too.

Re: Anyone else feel this way?

I'm not pregnant yet but I do see what you are saying.

Before IF, my reaction to bellies and babies was always "oh, I can't wait"
Now, after 2 years, I see them and feel angry and jealous. Then angry again but at myself for bring jealous! (Vicious cycle) I do however think after the fact about how they got there. I know so many ppl with IF and thankfully most of them have had babies or are pregnant now.

So I do take into account that maybe their journey was a hard one and it's their turn.

Re: Anyone else feel this way?

I have felt this way...especially lately since I'm about ready to pop. I think we're just more aware of how hard it is or can be to create a family no matter how hard you want, wish and pray for it and therefore more sensitive to those we pass by who may be looking at us with feelings of "why not me".

Re: Anyone else feel this way?

Re: Anyone else feel this way?

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I have had close family members go through IF and multiple losses and I feel guilty in a way telling them.

Maybe get a "rainbow baby" maternity tee made so people know your baby came after loss? *hugs*

ETA: I'm sorry I accidentally clicked on the wrong board and didn't realize until after I posted. I didn't mean to crash.

Message edited 7/7/2013 8:04:54 AM.

Re: Anyone else feel this way?

Re: Anyone else feel this way?

I know what you meant as more of an emotional sentiment but some people might like to wear the shirt. Everyone is different in how public they are about things :)

Re: Anyone else feel this way?

Re: Anyone else feel this way?

Posted by shazza211

Posted by PennyCat

Posted by SecretBFP2013

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I have had close family members go through IF and multiple losses and I feel guilty in a way telling them.

Maybe get a "rainbow baby" maternity tee made so people know your baby came after loss? *hugs*

ETA: I'm sorry I accidentally clicked on the wrong board and didn't realize until after I posted. I didn't mean to crash.

Ohh I didn't mean I would actually wear something to display I went through infertility and losses...... I'm all about spreading awareness, but still I wouldn't feel right about advertising my personal life on a shirt for ALL to see.

I just meant that in my heart, I feel for people still going through what I went through and hope that my belly doesn't make anyone feel bad. That's all.

PennyCat...want to start a t-shirt business? LOL

Re: Anyone else feel this way?

I think I know a site where you can make a t-shirt that says just that!!!

All joking aside though
I know what you mean. I often wonder if a lot of people assume I got pregnant quickly. I am not shy and pretty much everyone I speak to about my pregnancy (including my cat's veterinarian) knows I got pregnant thanks to IVF. I tell them because I want people to know that there is hope (if they have been trying) and not to take pregnancy for granted (if it happened very quickly for them).
Because I am so open I have had a few people open up and talk about their losses, their struggles, their fertility journey and their fears.

Message edited 7/10/2013 7:16:38 AM.

Re: Anyone else feel this way?

Posted by IVFmiracle

I think I know a site where you can make a t-shirt that says just that!!!

All joking aside though
I know what you mean. I often wonder if a lot of people assume I got pregnant quickly. I am not shy and pretty much everyone I speak to about my pregnancy (including my cat's veterinarian) knows I got pregnant thanks to IVF. I tell them because I want people to know that there is hope (if they have been trying) and not to take pregnancy for granted (if it happened very quickly for them).
Because I am so open I have had a few people open up and talk about their losses, their struggles, their fertility journey and their fears.