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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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I'm really disappointed- long
So as many of you know, my mom and I haven't gotten along great this year- before becoming pregnant we were super close and even own a business together.
So anyway, my mom retired in June from our dance studio and I will be going back to work on my own next week. So I've been looking to hire an assistant for the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy and to cover my classes for 2-3 weeks after I have Luca. I put the ad on Craigs List and got tons of replies- but noone is the right fit. I teach combination classes and not everyone was able to teach tap, jazz and ballet. The people that I have come across who can do it all live in NYC and don't have their own transportation. I can't really rely on them taking the train into White Plains and then taking a cab/bus to where I teach- that's just not dependable enough for me.
So I finally sucked it up and asked my mom for help. I told her she would only need to come in for 2 weeks (which is really only a total of 8 afternoons) to cover my classes and that I would, of course, be glad to pay her for the time and help. She basically told me that she doesn't want to and that I better keep looking. 
I'm just so disappointed and hurt that I went to my mom for help and she turned me down. I know that I will never do that to my chidren. I just want to run away and cry. 
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Posted 9/11/06 4:24 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
Did she explain to you why she is not willing to help?
It is not like you are asking her to help forever - just for a couple of weeks. 
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| Posted 9/11/06 4:27 PM |
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wowcoulditbe
wow, pic is already 1 yr old!!
Member since 1/06 6689 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
 my mom disappoints me too....i can totally relate but then i sit back and think, she doens't mean to, that's just her...we lost dh's mom the yr before we go married and what i would give to talk to her again so it helps me put my mom in perspective - at least she is here still to be a part of the baby's like...try not to let it get you too down. I am sure you will find someone great!!!
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| Posted 9/11/06 4:28 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
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| Posted 9/11/06 4:30 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
Posted by Marcie
Did she explain to you why she is not willing to help?
It is not like you are asking her to help forever - just for a couple of weeks.
It's because things got pretty ugly between us towards the end of the dance season. Afte rourt recital in early June we didn't speak for a month or so. Even though I've tried to be nice since then, she likes to blame me for all of the fighting and doesn't take responsibility for her own roll in everything.
I wound up planning my own baby shower because my mom wouldn't do it. She still wound up paying for it, but I oredered/sent out all of the invitations, I bought the CP and favors and I set everything up the morning of my shower with no help.
My mom has always been there for me and always helped me out with things. It's like she's now trying to punsih me for something.
She would never in a million years treat my sister like this and my sister has given my mother so much more grief in her life than I ever could.
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| Posted 9/11/06 4:33 PM |
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sweetpea
xoxo
Member since 7/06 2467 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
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| Posted 9/11/06 4:35 PM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
I just wanted to offer these
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| Posted 9/11/06 4:40 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
I am so sorry at a time like this your mom is not being supportive of what you need. I have to say I know how it feels though because although it was a completely different situation at the end of my pregnancy my mom could not get the focus off her and worry about what I needed.  To be honest she still doesn't a lot of the time although if you ask her it would be a whole different story.
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| Posted 9/11/06 5:17 PM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
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| Posted 9/11/06 5:19 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
why dont you post on the NFR board or career board. Maybe someone knows of someone or has experience themselves. There are alot of Long Island girls on here that dont live in Manhattan and can travel.
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| Posted 9/11/06 5:21 PM |
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FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
Nicole I'm so sorry you have to go through this right now, at such an exciting and important time in your life - when you could use your Mom's support the most
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| Posted 9/11/06 5:29 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
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| Posted 9/11/06 5:41 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
Posted by PrincessP
why dont you post on the NFR board or career board. Maybe someone knows of someone or has experience themselves. There are alot of Long Island girls on here that dont live in Manhattan and can travel.
I posted on the career board a while back and though there are some peopel with experience, they either have regular full time jobs or live too far away. My studio is in Purchase- a small town about 10 minutes away from White Plains.
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| Posted 9/11/06 6:06 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
I don't even know what to say about your mother's responses. I really can't believe that she said that to you.
I think the two of you need a real sit down, maybe with a therapist. Healing now is important. Once the baby is born, it will get even more complicated.
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| Posted 9/11/06 6:31 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
Posted by nferrandi
Posted by PrincessP
why dont you post on the NFR board or career board. Maybe someone knows of someone or has experience themselves. There are alot of Long Island girls on here that dont live in Manhattan and can travel.
I posted on the career board a while back and though there are some peopel with experience, they either have regular full time jobs or live too far away. My studio is in Purchase- a small town about 10 minutes away from White Plains.
I would go on the NFR board then and write repost:Career board. Theres just so many people on that board. I would think maybe you could find someone. Also, what about hiring pt while you are out. At least your business is still operating even if its scarce hours for a small period of time.
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| Posted 9/11/06 6:37 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
I think that's really awful that your mother is not being supportive. It's not a lot to ask, even from someone who is retired, to work for 8 afternoons.
My MIL has been retired from teaching for 12 years and still subs in the high school (which I think is crazy by the way...lol) I can't believe that your mom can't sacrifice 8 afternoons for her daughter who will be a new mom.
Message edited 9/11/2006 6:44:18 PM.
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| Posted 9/11/06 6:43 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: I'm really disappointed- long
Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH
I can't believe that your mom can't sacrifice 8 afternoons for her daughter who will be a new mom.
Like I said, it's her way of punishing me. I'm sure that if it really came down to it she would cover the classes, but in the meantime she needs to give me a hard time. I really hope I find someone to do it. I would much rather not have her help if she's going to make it so hard on me.
I've been crying all day, I just feel like my heart is breaking. I just feel like it's such a hurtful thing to do to your daughter who's almost 9 months pregnant. She hasn't been any help along the way, and she can't even manage to be helpful when i come right out and ask for it.
I will never forgive her for this and our relationship will never be the same for it. If she was just able to suck it up and help me out, I think it would actually improve our relationship. But I really feel like there's no turning back now.
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| Posted 9/11/06 6:55 PM |
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