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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Having a hard time...
with guess who...IL's.
But of course where else should I come to but the parenting board. I am due dec 1st and I swear to god these people have not been around since we told them. They live about 10 min away and call dhs cell phone at work. They have bought the baby ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! and what really gets me is they watch my mom buy the baby everything. The SIL comes to NY and doesnt pick up the friggin phone. Ive invited my mil to various appts which she attends from time to time but has no real interest. We went to BRU and she watches my mom buy the baby more and more. I can honestly tell you that I am getting worried that come dec 1st...the same sneaky relationship through the cell is gonna transpire with the baby. Dh will feel the need to stop by his parents for 5 min without telling me just for a quick visit. These people dont care. I would be better off if they stayed out of our lives ultimately. They've proven they cant do anything for us or the baby. Anyone is a similiar situation and if so what have you done? TIA
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Posted 9/4/06 7:23 PM  |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Having a hard time...
Sounds exactly like my IL's. My FIL has been on vacation from work for a month now, and him or MIL never told JT he was off. THey never invited us over or asked if we could bring Ava over. JT even invited them over and they said NO! He said, "Do you want to come over sometime this week since I'm off and you're both home?" And their response was NO. They've been to my apartment ONCE in over a year and have not come to see the baby at all. Fluck them all. That's how I feel.
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| Posted 9/4/06 8:06 PM |
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sam
LIF Infant
Member since 6/05 154 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Having a hard time...
Yes...this was my inlaws... They showed no interest in my pregnancy at all, sulked through my shower, and were just nasty all along. Then the baby was born. They were at the hospital and were in my room waiting when I was wheeled in. They LOVE my baby and are different people when they are with her. Ubnfortunately, they have yet to warm up to me. Now their issue with me is that I don't call them enough to babysit.
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| Posted 9/4/06 8:47 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Having a hard time...
Am I wrong to think if they want no involvement then its NO INVOLVEMENT. not when its good for them and they are in the mood. I understand its dh parents but he seems unaffected regardless (dont know why) and I am tired of playing these games. They are uninvolved in the whole family sector. So pretty much from his side...we have no one. This is how dh was raised unlike myself.
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| Posted 9/5/06 8:53 AM |
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Re: Having a hard time...
I dont think it is right that they sneak around to speak to your DH and I hope that doesnt conitnue when the baby comes. I think their will come a time when the baby get to an age that he will think that its not OK to like his grandparents infront of you. As far as not buying anything for the baby, I get along very well with my MIL and she didn't buy anything until the baby was born while my mom was buying him a wardobe so maybe she doesn't believe in buying before the baby is born?
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| Posted 9/5/06 9:27 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Having a hard time...
Posted by Seles81
I dont think it is right that they sneak around to speak to your DH and I hope that doesnt conitnue when the baby comes. I think their will come a time when the baby get to an age that he will think that its not OK to like his grandparents infront of you. As far as not buying anything for the baby, I get along very well with my MIL and she didn't buy anything until the baby was born while my mom was buying him a wardobe so maybe she doesn't believe in buying before the baby is born?
actually she complains that they have no $$$ meanwhile my mothers a widow. C'mon this is your grandchild. Its gonna continue after the babies here I am sure.
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| Posted 9/5/06 9:33 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Having a hard time...
Not in the same situation but hugs to you nonetheless!
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| Posted 9/5/06 9:34 AM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Having a hard time...
not the same situation - but when we 1st got married I had a hard time relating to my DH's parents- they are VERY different than mine- they live in FLA and IL (they are divorced)- they have both only visited us ONE TIME- when we got married.
in the beginning of our relationship, DH and I went to therapy (not over this)- but this issue came up.
Basically- the therapist said to me, "why does this bother you, it isn't your family, and this is how they've always related to each other and you cannot change their family dynamic"
and you know what? he was right. Understanding that has stopped a whole bunch of arguments. I know when this baby is born (due Thanksgiving) my MIL and FIL will not visit a lot, and will not buy the baby a lot of things, etc... but you know what- i'll be supportive of whatever relationship they want to have with the baby- b/c their familial interactions are just different than my family's and there is nothing I can do to change that, and I certainly don't want to fault my DH or make him feel badly when it is really something he can't control either.
I say- just let it be... tell your DH he doesn't have to sneak around to visit his parents- they are, after all, HIS parents.. and as much as you dislike them, they must have done something right to raise the man you married.
I know it's tough- 
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| Posted 9/5/06 9:38 AM |
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