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MrsRapz
mahna mahna!
Member since 2/12 1952 total posts
Name:
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what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
DS is 12 weeks this week which means my maternity leave is over. MIL will watch him every thursday but she knows NOTHING about him (she's only seen him twice since he was born  )
I'm writing up a little mini-document for her so she'll know what to do when she's watching him.
So far, i have an approximate daily schedule (Eat, Diaper Change, Activity, Nap), notes about how to get him to nap, and some suggestions about what to do for play time.
Anything else i should tell her?
TIA
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Posted 1/7/13 11:07 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
jax1
Love my baby girl!!!
Member since 3/09 3405 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
dr's phone number
emergency phone numbers
medical info (if any
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| Posted 1/7/13 11:14 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
Have her come the next few days. Don't just do it cold turkey!
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| Posted 1/8/13 6:16 AM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
Posted by nycgirl
Have her come the next few days. Don't just do it cold turkey!
This. We had "trial" days where DH would be home with her. She came in the morning one day, afternoon another day (so she had all the timeframes covered).
We made a chart with her rough schedule and a space next to it for MIL to keep track of what was actually happening. My DH also wrote out a list of things to note - like what to do if she wasn't burping and was fussy, you know - like little tips and tricks that we learned worked to soothe DD. Also instructions for naptime like no blankets, no stuff in the crib, no hair bows etc. Are you pre-making bottles? Leave instructions if not, and be clear as to whether you want them heated, how you want them heated (e.g., no microwave, run under hot water, bottle warmer), whether to shake the bottle (we were very clear about this bc shaking it gave DD terrible gas). Also any special instructions for diaper changes - like certain ointments at certain times (e.g. use desitin after poop or vaseline only etc.).
This may sound pedantic but this is what my DH felt my MIL needed - very specific explicit instructions - in order to feel comfortable.
Good luck and FM me if you have any q's!
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| Posted 1/8/13 7:23 AM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
Can you have her come when you are there for a day or so? And also leave a list too.
There are going to be so many things she will do differently than you. Some will be fine but some your ds is used to and its routine for him. My mom has watched my girls a bunch of times and does things like pick them up is they make a tiny peep. Plays with them mid feeding so it takes more than a half hour to feed then the other is waiting for food and their schedule is off. They survive, but it messes them up for the day.
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| Posted 1/8/13 7:35 AM |
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MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS
Member since 6/10 5483 total posts
Name:
WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!
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Re: what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
I suggest you fm bear. I've seen that list her dh wrote. Man was it detailed. Never seen one like it 
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| Posted 1/8/13 7:37 AM |
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lcherian
He is the reason!
Member since 2/06 2512 total posts
Name:
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Re: what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
I think you got it covered other than the emergency info. I wouldn't be so detailed with your list when it comes to family members (other than the more general info you are providing). I'm sure she'll learn about your son very quickly! 
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| Posted 1/8/13 8:42 AM |
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SecretTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 2284 total posts
Name:
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Re: what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
Posted by lcherian
I think you got it covered other than the emergency info. I wouldn't be so detailed with your list when it comes to family members (other than the more general info you are providing). I'm sure she'll learn about your son very quickly!
I agree. If you want to micromanage your caregiver than I would hire a professional. You cannot do that to a family member.
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| Posted 1/8/13 8:46 AM |
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Re: what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
Posted by SecretTTCer
Posted by lcherian
I think you got it covered other than the emergency info. I wouldn't be so detailed with your list when it comes to family members (other than the more general info you are providing). I'm sure she'll learn about your son very quickly!
I agree. If you want to micromanage your caregiver than I would hire a professional. You cannot do that to a family member.
Agree, I'm sure she can figure things out. Good luck
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| Posted 1/8/13 8:52 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
Posted by SecretTTCer
Posted by lcherian
I think you got it covered other than the emergency info. I wouldn't be so detailed with your list when it comes to family members (other than the more general info you are providing). I'm sure she'll learn about your son very quickly!
I agree. If you want to micromanage your caregiver than I would hire a professional. You cannot do that to a family member.
I also agree. If you have to be that detailed with her then I would look into hiring a nanny.
I know people who have done this (had a list of details and demands for the baby) and it has caused major tension and issues in the family because of it.
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:01 AM |
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LI2VA
Love my life!!
Member since 11/05 3125 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
Posted by BriBri2u
Posted by SecretTTCer
Posted by lcherian
I think you got it covered other than the emergency info. I wouldn't be so detailed with your list when it comes to family members (other than the more general info you are providing). I'm sure she'll learn about your son very quickly!
I agree. If you want to micromanage your caregiver than I would hire a professional. You cannot do that to a family member.
I also agree. If you have to be that detailed with her then I would look into hiring a nanny.
I know people who have done this (had a list of details and demands for the baby) and it has caused major tension and issues in the family because of it.
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:06 AM |
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Onemoretime
LIF Adult
Member since 9/12 1077 total posts
Name:
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Re: what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
I wrote a detailed list for my MIL. It was pretty much ignored  She will get to know baby very quickly. My ds had to fit into my inlaws schedule in a way, which is why the list went out the window. You lose all control when MIL watches!
I would have her come a few days before you get back to work so they get used to each other
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:08 AM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
Posted by SecretTTCer
Posted by lcherian
I think you got it covered other than the emergency info. I wouldn't be so detailed with your list when it comes to family members (other than the more general info you are providing). I'm sure she'll learn about your son very quickly!
I agree. If you want to micromanage your caregiver than I would hire a professional. You cannot do that to a family member.
I disagree. I think it depends on the person. My MIL was extremely uncomfortable and awkward around the baby at first. She wanted detailed instructions. My DH agreed that this would help her - as long as it wasn't coming from me. My MIL is a bit strange. She still needs the schedule/instructions (per her own request). When we recently went down to 1 nap, she was panicking about the change in routine.
I understand why this may not work for a lot of people, but it's a necessary reality for others.
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:25 PM |
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Alexandra17
Keep It Positive
Member since 4/09 6262 total posts
Name:
Alexandra (ali)
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what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
I was in the same boat. At 12 weeks, she started watching DS. I wrote down a list of times he eats and such but funny enough, they made their own schedule as he got older and they have a routine. Emergency numbers are great, I make bottles, his breakfast, some toys that he was into the night before and they are off!
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:32 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
I would have her come by a few days to spend time with the baby.
I'm not a fan of overly micromanaging lists. A schedule and showing her where everything is and leaving important phone numbers is more than enough IMO. Anything more seems like you don't trust her judgment at all. If you have a big list and overly detailed instructions you might make her nervous and awkward that she isn't doing it "your" way. She has to find her own way and groove.
My MIL watches our DD for us and I kept it simple and let her do things that work for her and it has been great.
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:53 PM |
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MrsRapz
mahna mahna!
Member since 2/12 1952 total posts
Name:
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what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
Thanks everyone.
I wish she could've come by for a trial run but she wasn't able to.
She had asked for a list / schedule so i know she won't be offended when i give it to her.
I ended up putting the following in it:
-- a basic schedule (eat, diaper change, activity, sleep, etc)
-- some ideas of "activity time" things to do
-- instructions on making bottles
-- how & when to give mylacon
-- emergency phone numbers
thanks for all the tips & suggestions 
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| Posted 1/9/13 4:51 PM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: what to tell the MIL when she watches DS?
I don't understand the suggestions about NOT leaving a list. The OP clearly asked for help in constructing it. Not "do you think I should?"
Like PPs suggested - in addition to your "activity time" suggestions, soothing suggestions would be helpful too.
My DD liked to be held/soothed like an older infant - straight over your shoulder, not cradled like a baby. So quirky things like that would be helpful to your MIL.
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| Posted 1/9/13 5:24 PM |
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