Does anyone know when it's ok to let babies start to cry

DD is 5 weeks old tomorro.

I read somewhere that newborns can not self soothe so it can be damaging to leave them crying for extended periods but my friend told me "oh you're gonna create a monster if you pick her up every time she cries"

Now she doesn't cry or colicky or anything that much but where I'm struggling with this is when we are trying to put her to bed/nap. initially she was sleeping during the night but suddenly she seems to want be awake during time she should be sleeping. If I try to put her down she will cry. We go through the motions is she hungry, diaper change etc.
No, she just wants to be picked up, be held, play with etc and I can't bear to just let her cry

Last night we finally "put" her to bed around 2 am. Every hour I was up, she would start fussing and screaming. She spit out her pacifier, I would retrieve it etc. this went on until 7 am when she ate and then sleep for a few more hours.

Is it too early for me to expect her to go to sleep on her own or follow any kind of schedule. Should I let her cry in the bed if I want her to sleep? I have no experience with this

Re: Does anyone know when it's ok to let babies start to cry

An infant should not CIO (cry it out) until at the min. 6 months. Read Ferber's Book before you do anything please. That young they need something food, diaper change or just comforting. It gets easier the first few weeks are hard! Your friend is wrong you cannot spoil a baby that young.

Message edited 1/5/2013 1:33:04 PM.

Re: Does anyone know when it's ok to let babies start to cry

6 months--at 5 weeks, nothing is predictable, and if she's crying, it's usually for a reason. Hang in there--it does get better, around 3-4 months. At 5 weeks some still dont know night from day.

Does anyone know when it's ok to let babies start to cry

Thank you - this is what I thought too. Guess mommy instincts are right

Re: Does anyone know when it's ok to let babies start to cry

At almost 12 weeks ill let my girls fuss a bit before running to them. They aren't crying, just fussing. They usually stop but if they don't I get them. Sometimes I just hold them for a bit and they fall asleep. I check if they are ok first though. Sometines they cry cry when making a bottle or feeding the other and when i get them i can tell they were so besides themselves over crying and i feel so bad. I don't think they can be spoiled at this age. Definitely not at 5 weeks. If you have to break a habit later then CIO or whatever then.

Does anyone know when it's ok to let babies start to cry

Yes your instincts are right on - she shouldn't be left to cry yet. Do you try to tightly swaddle her? Also google the 5s- these first few months are challenging - hang in!

Re: Does anyone know when it's ok to let babies start to cry

I agree with the others. Swaddling really helps, as does a sound machine on white noise. It can go pretty loud - think the volume of a vacuum cleaner. It's soothing to them and helps them sleep.

Re: Does anyone know when it's ok to let babies start to cry

I think at that age babies are really starting to experience things and it can be a bit stimulating for them. I found the hardest time 6-8 weeks because it was hard to soothe DD and from what I read babies go through a growth spurt. I was near the end of my rope and the ladies here were great and said that around 8 weeks things get easier. And it did! She started to be easier to soothe, eat and sleep patterns started to develop and she began sleeping better throughout the night. DD also seemed to be "colicky" at night. It was getting so bad sometimes I could get her to sleep until 4 am!!! And many nights I had her in the swing and slept on the couch. trust your instinct. Every child is different so advice is never one size fits all... even if it's in a book. Trust your instincts. People were telling me my baby was colicky but i just knew something was wrong during that time. Turns out she had an ear infection. Totally not saying your baby could be sick, just giving an example of mothers instinct being right!