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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
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Name
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DH thinks I am crazy
I am pg with our first he is one and done he keeps trying to convince me. I dont know if I want to have another one but I am leaning toward adopting a toddler from foster care.
Not now but in a couple of years. He thinks Im crazy and of course we will discuss it but its something I have/am seriously considering.
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Posted 9/25/12 1:03 PM  |
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jennielee15
Let's try this again....
Member since 7/11 2269 total posts
Name:
Jennie
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Re: DH thinks I am crazy
I used to want to adopt as well, but DH is definitely not on board....so I took it off the table.
Maybe in a few years he will come around....
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| Posted 9/25/12 1:10 PM |
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MrsRapz
mahna mahna!
Member since 2/12 1952 total posts
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DH thinks I am crazy
i don't think it's crazy to want to adopt - it's a really great thing to do!
BUT i do think it's a little bit crazy to think about it now, while you're still pregnant with your first 
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| Posted 9/25/12 4:03 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Re: DH thinks I am crazy
Posted by MrsRapz
i don't think it's crazy to want to adopt - it's a really great thing to do!
BUT i do think it's a little bit crazy to think about it now, while you're still pregnant with your first
I've always wanted to "save" a child. When we werent sure if we could have our own I was all gung ho to adopt so was dh. I think we are both surprised that i am still gung ho about it. I just think adoption is wonderful and my heart breaks to think of all of those children out there who need homes that are already born.
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| Posted 9/25/12 4:25 PM |
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FlowerWife
Positive Vibrations...
Member since 1/08 8423 total posts
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DH thinks I am crazy
i think its crazy to be having a serious conversation about that in the first trimester of your first pregnancy.
i know it is cliche but it is 1000% true that you really have no idea what its like until you have a child. so there is no point in planning stuff like that out because you might find that after you give birth and raise a baby YOU are one and done - or he might realize that after seeing how loving and wonderful babies are, he wants more than one.
thinking about adopting a toddler when you are at this point in the process of having your own child is a nice thought but realistically once you see the reality of being a parent first-hand you may have completely different views.
i guess my only advice is, if you are totally a million percent sure you want to adopt a toddler - do it before your own baby becomes a toddler because once you go through the toddler years you may never ever want to deal with that again. my DD is barely a toddler at 16m and i can see its going to be great and challenging all at the same time. i know i want more kids but i could see people easily changing their minds after going through birth, newborn phase, toddler phase...etc. so you both should just keep an open mind.
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| Posted 9/25/12 6:03 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Re: DH thinks I am crazy
Posted by FlowerWife
i think its crazy to be having a serious conversation about that in the first trimester of your first pregnancy.
i know it is cliche but it is 1000% true that you really have no idea what its like until you have a child. so there is no point in planning stuff like that out because you might find that after you give birth and raise a baby YOU are one and done - or he might realize that after seeing how loving and wonderful babies are, he wants more than one.
thinking about adopting a toddler when you are at this point in the process of having your own child is a nice thought but realistically once you see the reality of being a parent first-hand you may have completely different views.
i guess my only advice is, if you are totally a million percent sure you want to adopt a toddler - do it before your own baby becomes a toddler because once you go through the toddler years you may never ever want to deal with that again. my DD is barely a toddler at 16m and i can see its going to be great and challenging all at the same time. i know i want more kids but i could see people easily changing their minds after going through birth, newborn phase, toddler phase...etc. so you both should just keep an open mind.
Dh said the exact same thing. We shall see how I deal with being a mom.
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| Posted 9/25/12 8:40 PM |
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springsandra
Baby girl has a baby brother!
Member since 11/09 7155 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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DH thinks I am crazy
Our friends always said that if they are lucky enough to have their first (they had some setbacks getting pregnant), they would adopt their second.
Well, their daughter just turned 3 last month and all their paperwork is in for their adoption of a child from Uganda! They're just waiting for a match! I am completely amazed and thrilled for them that their hopes and dreams are coming true, all-around.
You don't need to talk about this right now. They started their adoption process about 6 months ago. It can take up to another year for them to get matched, but the process of the application took less time than it has for me to gestate this child.
Take it one child at a time for now and try not to get upset.
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| Posted 9/25/12 8:41 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: DH thinks I am crazy
Posted by MrsRapz
i don't think it's crazy to want to adopt - it's a really great thing to do!
BUT i do think it's a little bit crazy to think about it now, while you're still pregnant with your first
ita! one step at a time
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| Posted 9/25/12 11:23 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
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DH thinks I am crazy
definately something to wait to discuss..... I' would have adopted a baby, but dh just felt he couldn't do it.
we had a couple of losses, then took time off before having ds. We always said we'd want 2 kids. After having ds a couple of years, we both decided that we now want 3. But I know of plenty of couples who wanted 2 and after having the first feel they are done.
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| Posted 9/26/12 4:06 AM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
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Re: DH thinks I am crazy
Posted by FlowerWife
i think its crazy to be having a serious conversation about that in the first trimester of your first pregnancy.
i know it is cliche but it is 1000% true that you really have no idea what its like until you have a child. so there is no point in planning stuff like that out because you might find that after you give birth and raise a baby YOU are one and done - or he might realize that after seeing how loving and wonderful babies are, he wants more than one.
thinking about adopting a toddler when you are at this point in the process of having your own child is a nice thought but realistically once you see the reality of being a parent first-hand you may have completely different views.
i guess my only advice is, if you are totally a million percent sure you want to adopt a toddler - do it before your own baby becomes a toddler because once you go through the toddler years you may never ever want to deal with that again. my DD is barely a toddler at 16m and i can see its going to be great and challenging all at the same time. i know i want more kids but i could see people easily changing their minds after going through birth, newborn phase, toddler phase...etc. so you both should just keep an open mind.
Totally agree with all of this
Table this discussion for a year, then see how you both feel when you have had a chance to be parents for a while.
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| Posted 9/26/12 11:53 AM |
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maybemommy10
Big Brothers to Be !
Member since 2/10 3868 total posts
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Re: DH thinks I am crazy
DH always wanted to adopt, especially when we were going thru IF, i was never on board. Straight up, he is a better person than me, and i don't think i would be able to parent and love a child that wasnt mine, the way i would one that is biologically mine. of course i would never know this, unless i was in the situation, but the uncertainity alone is enough for me to say NO. it would not be fair to anyone. its awful i know I also agree with pp, you have NO IDEA how you (or DH will feel) till your LO is here.
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| Posted 9/26/12 4:24 PM |
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