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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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rsvp issues
We are having a culture clash with my baby shower. We had the same problem with the wedding but for the wedding, I had no problem telling people they cant bring so and so because they weren't invited.
But people are rsvp'ing to my shower and saying "I'm attending with so and so" even though they weren't invited. It's in a restaurant, so cost is an issue, and if this continues, we are going to have to switch to the bigger room (which is not as pretty in my opinion and who knows if it's even available).
Can you just tell me not to feel bad about telling people they cant bring a +1(or +3!) to a shower. It's a cultural thing because those who are bringing uninvited guests are accustomed to more "open house" like showers. And what's the nicest way to do that? We already told one person that she couldn't bring her husband, 4 year old and newborn (I had no problem with just the newborn) and so she responded that she's not coming. 
TIA
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Posted 8/17/12 3:16 PM  |
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Samira0407
Love being a Mom
Member since 6/08 4030 total posts
Name:
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rsvp issues
Sorry I had a feeling this exact situation would happen for my shower so my Mom is most likely going with a rented hall and bringing in our own catered food. It is also VERY common in my culture that if 1 person is invited the shower more people will come with them! If I invite a cousin; then the aount; siblings, children will all show up!
In your case since you have to stick to your guest; when they respond just menion that you're having a small shower at the restaurnat and really can't accomadate any extra add ons. But if anyone cancels you will let them know. That's the best I can think of...
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| Posted 8/17/12 3:48 PM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
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Re: rsvp issues
i would call/email the people that RSVPd with an additional person (or three) and tell them the room you booked can only accommodate so many people and that once all of the RSVPs are in you will let them know if there is room for them to bring people...and in a week or two let them know there isnt enough space
who are they bringing along, i dont understand...they wouldnt bring a date since typically showers are not co-ed. are they adding in their kids?
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| Posted 8/17/12 3:54 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: rsvp issues
Posted by jams92
i would call/email the people that RSVPd with an additional person (or three) and tell them the room you booked can only accommodate so many people and that once all of the RSVPs are in you will let them know if there is room for them to bring people...and in a week or two let them know there isnt enough space
who are they bringing along, i dont understand...they wouldnt bring a date since typically showers are not co-ed. are they adding in their kids?
Most of them are trying to add their husbands but this one in particular is adding her adult daughter, who I love dearlybut I didn't invite!
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| Posted 8/17/12 4:27 PM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
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Re: rsvp issues
Posted by cateyemm
Most of them are trying to add their husbands but this one in particular is adding her adult daughter, who I love dearlybut I didn't invite!
wow! can you just tell them you are having a more "traditional" shower and are keeping it female only or did you invite some males just not all?
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| Posted 8/17/12 4:47 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: rsvp issues
Posted by jams92
Posted by cateyemm
Most of them are trying to add their husbands but this one in particular is adding her adult daughter, who I love dearlybut I didn't invite!
wow! can you just tell them you are having a more "traditional" shower and are keeping it female only or did you invite some males just not all?
Those ppl we told it's an all female shower and their Dhs are welcome to chill at my dad's house. Regardless, people dont look at the outside envelope?!
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| Posted 8/17/12 4:55 PM |
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springsandra
Baby girl has a baby brother!
Member since 11/09 7155 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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rsvp issues
I think most people throw envelopes out. I'm surprised they all assume it's co-ed though. I'd never assume that about a baby shower unless the invite specifically says it.
Sorry you're dealing with stress. At least you know you're very much loved!  The ladies have good ideas -- I'm sure it'll work out in the end.
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| Posted 8/17/12 5:14 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: rsvp issues
Posted by springsandra
At least you know you're very much loved! .
You're right, it's definitely not a problem to complain about! That's why I didn't want to offend anyone.
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| Posted 8/17/12 5:17 PM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: rsvp issues
I would try to say as graciously as possible "I'm so sorry but the shower is women only and we only have room for a certain number of people at the restaurant. As I mentioned before, your DH is invited to my Dad's house (or wherever you said they were invited to go) becuase we just can't fit everyone at the restaurant".
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, that would drive me nuts!
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| Posted 8/17/12 5:18 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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rsvp issues
My sis had a similar issue and ended up having 2 showers. One a regular one and one a Dominican shower. I would have no prpblem saying no to extras
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| Posted 8/17/12 5:31 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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rsvp issues
My sis had a similar issue and ended up having 2 showers. One a regular one and one a Dominican shower. I would have no prpblem saying no to extras
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| Posted 8/17/12 5:31 PM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: rsvp issues
....can I bring Jon and Ozzie? 
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| Posted 8/17/12 5:48 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: rsvp issues
Posted by alli3131
My sis had a similar issue and ended up having 2 showers. One a regular one and one a Dominican shower. I would have no prpblem saying no to extras
Omg thats awesome!!! I told that to Dh and he just shook his head.
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| Posted 8/17/12 6:22 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: rsvp issues
Posted by MandJZ
....can I bring Jon and Ozzie?
Bring Ozzie and I'll being joey! Jon is welcome at my dad's.
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| Posted 8/17/12 6:23 PM |
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