Why is DH doing this to me?

Sorry in advance if this is long...I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm sitting in my office at work hysterical right now...

First off...at our Level II last night...As I was still laying on the table...before I could tell any of our family or friends what we were having...he posted the gender on fb. I was so upset...my poor sister found out what her god child was going to be through FB. He just doesn't understand that he was wrong. Started a fight with me, saying that I ruined it for him because he was so excited to tell everyone. So the rest of the night was jsut us arguing...

So we made up before bed, and now this morning, he's starting this crap that he wants the baby's room theme to be Star Wars. I HATEEE star wars with a passion... and I do not think it's suitable for a little baby...maybe when the kid is 5 or something but not a newborn baby... so he's posting it all over FB that he wants to have people help convince his wife to let him have the star wars theme. So i pretty much jsut said this isn't up for discussion.

I feel like he's taking the most exciting part of the pregnancy and completely ruining it for us. I can't stop crying!

Re: Why is DH doing this to me?

I'm sorry, but that just sounds really immature to me. Both of his actions. Maybe you two need to have a serious conversation and ask your husband to keep your relationship and the baby off of facebook? That might help keep your issues confined to the two of you, and not the outside world.

Re: Why is DH doing this to me?

I'm sorry your DH is acting like this!! But it sounds awfully familiar.

As soon as DH found out we're having a boy he was on his phone texting from the sono room. I was explicit in saying let's tell family before you post it on FB, and at least he listened to that. Then he started coming up with his own inappropriate nursery themes too...which is basically the only thing we haven't agreed on during my pregnancy. WHY do they care so much?????

Maybe because they don't really get to do much else in the "making the baby" part and now he's so far down the road in the excitement. It will hopefully subside a little and you can compromise on a nursery theme you both like...

Re: Why is DH doing this to me?

Wow! I would've been pissed about him broadcasting the gender first on facebook. He was TOTALLY wrong to do that.
And as far as the Star Wars theme, just keep saying no and hopefully he'll drop it.
So sorry

Why is DH doing this to me?

i don't blame you for being upset. i would have wanted to at least let my family know first instead of having them find out via FB. that would take all the fun in telling your family & friends about it!!!
Unfortunatel, you can't change that, and at least you made up about that. Obvi, i don't think a Star Wars theme is appropriate for a newborn. Just keep shooting down the idea. If necessary, go out when the time comes and just buy whatever themse you like for the baby's room and call it a day.

Re: Why is DH doing this to me?

Does he broadcast other personal issues on FB as well? Maybe you guys need to have a serious discussion about boundaries in general.
As for the gender, I'd be livid. But now it's done (unfortunately) and all you can do is move on from it. For the nursery, you both need to come up with something you agree on. When DH and I don't agree on something, we keep looking. Hopefully you won't have this problem when it comes to picking names!

Re: Why is DH doing this to me?

Thanks girls. No, he never normally broadcasts anything on FB. he just is going on and on that he was so excited so he wanted to let everyone know. He just doesn't get that he took that away from me.

I told him i would do ANYTHING else for the nursery...sports, space, monkey, etc....but no all he wants is STAR WARS. I just can't!

Why is DH doing this to me?

Although i don't agree with him, i do see his point of view. He was very excited and wanted to share with the world - it's cute in a way. Of course, if my DH did that, i'd be pissed as well so i definitely see (and agree) with you)

You should probably talk to your DH and tell him that he can't post baby-related things on FB before you guys have had a chance to discuss.

as for the nursery, how about meeting him half-way .... tell him you're not ok with a full star wars theme but he can have one star wars pic on the wall if he wants.

Why is DH doing this to me?

I'm so sorry DH is upsetting you. It's great that he's so excited though.

Why is DH doing this to me?

My DH and I NEVER post anything personal without the other's approval... Like we didn't post boy/girl until we had told/called all the people we wanted to tell first. And if we ever get into an argument or have an issue, neither of us would dare to post it on a social medium. I think you should definitely discuss this with him, as the other girls have suggested.

Perhaps for the nursery theme you could explain to him why it isn't really baby appropriate but down the road it definitely could work... Then maybe show him some Star Wars onesies or other baby-related Star Wars items to sort of compromise a bit.

Re: Why is DH doing this to me?

Ugh he needs to chill. You guys need to be in the same page with announcing stuff. And I agree that star wars is better suited for a big kid room.

Why is DH doing this to me?

Is there even a star wars nursery bedding line? Lol

Re: Why is DH doing this to me?

Crashing

So sorry you're going through this! He definitely should have waited to let you tell family and friends in person/on the phone, but that goes without saying.

As for the Star Wars thing...maybe you two can compromise and have a teeny, tiny nod to Star Wars in the nursery? Like a 4x6 picture of Yoda in a vintage frame or a print that says "may the force be with you" (or some other Star Wars quote). I'm sure Pinterest has a lot of ideas to help you out without going into a whole, crazy theme that you hate! Hang in there, people all react differently when they are overwhelmed with excitement! .

Why is DH doing this to me?

What about an outer space theme instead of just star wars?

Sorry about the oversharing on fb... not cool. He's not doing this to hurt you. He's doing this because he's super excited. I know it's hard to feel like that. He should've just been texted his family and stuff instead while you called yours. But what's done is done. Maybe you can get whatever name you want to "make up" for what he's done...

Why is DH doing this to me?

Your DH is totally out of line, I'm sorry he's doing these things. Posting the gender on FB is totally out of line.

As for the Star Wars theme, I'm not a fan so I agree with you but maybe like some of the other girls have said you could do something as a nod to Star Wars to keep him happy(quiet). Maybe do a stencil in a cute font over the crib that says something like "The force is strong with this one" (I googled quotes )

Why is DH doing this to me?

I guess I'm in the minority. I don't think him posting the gender on FB is such a big deal. It is his news to share as well and he was excited.

As for the nursery theme, I bet if you tell him he has to find all the Star Wars stuff and do it himself, he will change his tune.

Re: Why is DH doing this to me?

i understand about the FB thing but you know what its not worth fighting over. I think sometimes people getting so excited that they just do not think before the they do things. So make sure you show him the most ugly star wars things so he can be like OMG you are totally right and then you do what you want

Re: Why is DH doing this to me?

Re: Why is DH doing this to me?

you still have time, i would try to let this die down for a while. if he brings up the star wars theme, just shoot it down or ignore him. when the subject has rested for a bit, have a talk with him and just tell him - you wouldn't be going ahead with a theme he 100% hated, so it won't be happening vice versa. it's not HIS kid just bc it's a boy. it's your child together and you will have to find something you both like. there are so many cute things out there, it will happen.
as far as the fb thing... i'm so sorry that was very immature of him. dh doesn't have fb, i do - and when we found out it was a girl, i was so excited - but i wanted us both to be able to share the news with our families and close friends first - and we did. i didn't post it on fb until later that night, with dh's knowledge and approval. i wish it didn't happen like that for you, but just try to move forward. the news is still just as exciting

Re: Why is DH doing this to me?

Posted by gdubs

Your DH is totally out of line, I'm sorry he's doing these things. Posting the gender on FB is totally out of line.

As for the Star Wars theme, I'm not a fan so I agree with you but maybe like some of the other girls have said you could do something as a nod to Star Wars to keep him happy(quiet). Maybe do a stencil in a cute font over the crib that says something like "The force is strong with this one" (I googled quotes )

Re: Why is DH doing this to me?

Thank you girls for all your support! Yes, even though I feel the FB thing was so wrong, I have to just let it go and move on.

We discussed the bedding and he said that he understands how I feel and we have deicded on something else! so Phew!! LOL. Thanks again for all of your support!!