baby shower wwyd

my mom and I are butting heads on this topic and even though i have plenty of time to make a final decision (and who knows maybe i will change my mind) i am wondering what you ladies would do...

my mom wants to throw me a baby shower and i dont want one

my reasons for not wanting one are:
- i am extremely fortunate to have friends and family with babies under a year old that are all giving me hand me downs (strollers, crib, clothing etc) so there is not much i will need.

- we live in a junior 4 apartment - so we have a teeny tiny space for the baby which means storage space etc is limited so we cant accumulate too much "stuff" and need to stick with necessities

-i really cannot stand my husbands side of the family - very long story short the ones that came to my bridal shower ended up calling DH and complaining to him afterwards about how my family didnt pay them enough attention (the shower was at my aunts house and planned as a bbq but it rained, so everything had to be moved indoors and my family did all the cooking, cleaning, setting up etc)

- some of my closest friends i work with and i know my job will do a lunch/shower thing for me

the shower would end up being around the holiday time which i see my family a lot (for both hanukkah AND christmas) so i suggested to my mom if anyone wants to give a gift they can do it at the holidays or once the baby is born but she still wants a shower

do i just give in? or can i stand my ground? wwyd?

edit - wow this ended up being a long post...just wanted to add that it is not my mothers first grandchild

Message edited 7/30/2012 11:57:40 AM.

Re: baby shower wwyd

I think it is really nice that your mom wants to throw you a baby shower. But have you openly discussed the reasons you listed with us, with her?

Maybe she is unaware that you are getting so many hand-me-downs and that you are okay with it. Some people don't like hand-me-downs.

Does she know what happened with the bridal shower? If she had no clue what happened and how it made you feel, she wouldn't be coming from the same place you are.

Does your family give each other gifts during the holiday season? Also re-express how some gifts could/will probably be given during the holidays instead.

And the work shower one-- well, could your mom be invited to that one instead? Maybe she wants to be involved- to celebrate you and your DC and maybe it would be enough to have her come to one rather than her coordinating an entirely different one.