Is this how your supposed to feel? **Updated in the last post**

I posted a few weeks ago about how we are looking for a 2 family in Queens. The one I walked into and knew was "the one", was a hopeless case. The couple was going through a divorce and basically wasn't REALLY ready to sell. We put our offer on the table for 1 month+. Seller basically said they have their sh*t to figure out and they are not gonna be rushed by anyone. Ridiculous. Anyway, my dream house was now not an option.

My DH reminded me of a house we saw when we first started looking. I remember us passing on it because #1 the area (closer to the subway, so more crowded, loud, etc.) #2 The house is a B3 (I think thats what its called), basically a one family that was converted into a legal 2. Its super small compared to the normal 2 familes we've seen.

He keeps insisting that I have to remember this is our "investment home", we are not going to live there forever. He says 5 years max, then we'll move to a 1 family. I just dont see that happening so quickly, so I want to choose a home that will make me happy now. He also tells me that I did somewhat like it before I saw my "dream home" that I cant have. Maybe its true, but I cant help but compare everything to that house.

I see us outgrowing this house SUPER fast. I dont like the area. I dont feel happy. We have seen about 25+ properties. I am willing to keep looking, especially that spring is here, more houses will be on the market, right? Ugh. He is REALLY pushing this house, promising me that its a smart move investment wise, and we'll be out of there soon enough. $$ wise, with the tenant paying their share, we will end up paying EXACTLY what we are now paying for rent. That is about the only thing attracting me to this house right now. My "dream house" was about $75,000 more. He says when we move and rent out both apartments, "the house will pay for itself" (whereas the other properties we've seen are so much more expensive that you would not be covering your entire mortgage).

I'm so torn, I have a knot in my stomach. I dont feel happy or excited. I actually want to cry. Is this a normal feeling when buying your first home, what about an investment home? Help me.

Updated in last post.

Message edited 3/28/2012 8:40:35 PM.

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

I would keep looking, plain and simple you don't like the house - you know when it's right

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

Plain and simple: No.
If you're having major doubts then I would walk away. When it's the right house you'll know. We looked at dozens and dozens of houses for 2 years while house hunting. There were a few that BF liked and really wanted, but I was unsure. I didnt hate the house, I just didnt have that excited feeling about it. Luckily they fell through and we eventually found this place. As soon as we saw this place I knew it was the right one and we were nothing but excited.

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

I am a firm believer that houses give you feelings. I knew my co-op was "the one" the minute I saw it online. The same happened with the house I am now buying. I walked in and immediately felt like it was home. I looked at a lot of houses that were in better condition or had better features, but they just did not do it for me.

Keep looking until you get that feeling again. There is more than one out there!

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

I wouldn't do it. You will be miserable. And the whole it's only temporary rarely happens. Ask how many people felt they would still be in their homes that were suppose to be temporary.

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

I know your plan is to be out in 5 years, and I hope that happens for you.

But, unfortunately, you never know what life holds. I would just recommend if you are thinking you want to be out in 5 years, that you would be okay staying 7+ if you needed to.

I thought I'd be out of my apt in 5 years but we have lost a lot of money....thought the market wouldn't crash quite so bad and would start recovering earlier than it has.

God forbid someone has a job loss, health issue, other money concern and you may end up staying.

Just make sure you are comfortable with the overall decision and do what you and DH agree will be best for your family.

I will tell you that buying property does mean sacrifice. It's rare that anyone can really afford everything on their wish list. So its up to you to decide what is a reasonable compromise.

Good luck!

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

No way! There are tons of 2 family homes that you will like, don't settle.

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

While I think there are always compromises to be made when buying a home, I don't think you should compromise on location. You've said several times that you don't like the location, and that's not going to change.

I think your situation is a little more complicated than most, because you are looking at it not just as a primary residence, but as a future investment property. For example, you will want to be near public transportation for any investment property that you will be renting out, but you also have to make sure the house will work for your family's needs eventually.

I do think you should try to put the "dream house" out of your mind, as hard as it is to do. Try to start fresh with your search, and keep an open mind.

But I do think it makes sense to buy sooner rather than later -- doesn't mean rush in and buy something you aren't happy with. But the rates are going to start to go up, which is going to affect how much people can afford to buy. So it's a great time to buy now, especially a potential investment property.

Good luck!

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

MY DH and I had a similar issue.

We saw one house which was REALLY nice, but I hated the neighborhood.

He tried to talk me into it, but I held firm. We talked and I told him WHY I didnt like the house. I told him that I could compramise if I HAD to, but I just didnt want to live there. Its not what I wanted.

He wanted me to be happy and we kept looking. We found a dream house and the rest is history.

My advice is DONT move into a home you dont like. 5 years is still a long time to hate the place you live. Have a conversation and let him know how you feel, you HEAR what he is saying, but you would not be happy.

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

Keep looking!

In this market, there is no guarantee that you will ONLY stay 5 years in that house.

I always think that while not a "dream" house, any house I purchase COULD be my forever house.

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

I thought we were only going to be in our house 5 years.... here we are, 5 years later, 3 kids later, no more room, and stuck in a house that is worth less than what we bought it for.

So I say do not a buy a house with those intentions. You could be in it a lot longer than you think.

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

You can change *almost* anything about a house, except location If that's a big disappointment for you, I say keep looking. We looked at a LOT of 2fams here in Queens as well, with almost the exact same mindset. But by FAR the ones that were in our price range were ******. Beyond belief!!!!! While the main house might've been fine, I feel like all of the apartment renos were done with duct tape and finger paints, they were CHEAP, horribly ugly and sometimes UNSAFE!!!! I thought, no waaaay would I rent that if I were looking for an aprtment - so unless the tenant space is well done, you need to count on extra $$$ to fix it up AND a few months of "vacant" time, where you'd be covering the entire mortgage yourselves. So while our dream was a 2 fam we ended up "settling" on a cheaper but smaller 1 family, but it's in EXACTLY the location we were set on. I don't see any advantage to rushing, you're right, spring will see much more inventory and the market is down, some areas more than others, but these things can only work in your favor. Keep stashing money aside to cover the DP and closing costs, waiting is a good idea until you are BOTH ok with the house you pick!!!

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

I agree if you really don't see yourself in it, don't buy it. I also wouldn't buy it thinking you will only be there for a certain amount of time. We bought a small condo right before we got married when the market was great. Figured we would be there ONLY a couple of years and when we had children we could sell and have a downpayment for a house. 1.5-2 years after we bought, the market tanked. Took us over 3 years to sell and it sold for sooooo much lower then what we paid.

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

I think there are some things that can be compromised on, but I think you both need to be happy. If it's too small, it's too small.

5 year plans often become 10 year realities.

I say keep looking. Even if you know it's not your forever home, it should still be something you'll be comfortable in for more than 5 years. It'll happen for you

Re: Is this how your supposed to feel?

Thank you so much for your feedback. I actually showed DH all your responses and he was surprised that almost everyone agreed with me.

I feel that in general my DH has a smart business sense, so I am deciding to trust him on this one. While its not my "dream house" it's not like I saw another property and I can't decide between them. There is literally nothing else in this area right now. It was the 2nd best house we've seen and we have seen just about everything. We actually went back to the house for the 3rd time. I felt a little better about it after going back, I really tried to picture myself there and I could see it. It'll be a little tight for a house but in reality it IS bigger than my current 2 bdr apt. and we are just fine now. I'll get to have a backyard and monthly rental income ($1400 from current tenant-which is staying), while paying exactly the same monthly payment we are now paying for rent. $$ wise it does make sense.

Offer has been accepted and we did an inspection. All is well with the house. Hoping there are no bumps along the way. Pray for us ladies. Buying a house/being a landlord for the 1st time is nerve-wrecking!!