how did you know you were ready to ttc?

Hi all... I was hoping to hear your perspectives on when you knew you were ready to TTC. My husband and I (both 28) got married 5 months ago (to the day, today, actually) and I would be ready to TTC at any time, but my husband wants to wait (perhaps for a few years) until he is more settled in his job (he started his own law practice in fall 2009) - he doesn't want to be in the situation where if work comes in for him he needs to drop everything to do it because he needs to do it financially and for his reputation. My thinking is, that there is never going to be a "perfect" time to start TTC, since even if I were to pregnant right away things can change a lot over 9 months, and who knows how long it will take to get pregnant.

I don't want to make him feel forced into it or anything, because I understand that it is a big decision and life changing, but at the same time... I want a baby!

Re: how did you know you were ready to ttc?

It is different for everyone but for me...I never was 100% sure until it happened. I had many years of traveling, getting my degree, my job, payed off bills, etc. I went from wanting them to not wanting and back again. Decided to try for #1 with some reservations. I had DD#1 and knew it was the right decision. Now have been trying for #2 for over a year and it is not happening so easily.

Re: how did you know you were ready to ttc?

I traveled a ton and became established in my career before getting married, and after DH and I traveled around a bit together and got a puppy, and moved out of the city into a bigger place, we both felt ready. I think he was ready before me, but it took us a while to get a BFP so by the time that happened I was ready too. Good luck!

Re: how did you know you were ready to ttc?

happy anniversary!
For DH and I we both knew we want to have a family and would love 2 or even 3 kids. So we sat down and thought about age etc and decided let's just go for it! I am older (31) so time is more pressing for me than you. And we have friends that have been trying for years (literally one friend tried for 3 years, another for 1 year etc) so you cant predict exactly when it will happen just because you decided you want to conceive.
We are both realistic enough to know that there will NEVER be a perfect time. Right now we both have jobs which means a steady income so for us thats all we need. we currently live in a one bedroom apartment and would love to buy a house, however once we buy a house we will have those added expenses and who knows if we can swings kid plus home bills so we decided to put a family first. we are both of the mentality that as long as we have each other and are happy we can make it work.

I would try to talk to your husband more and try to explain there is no ideal time etc and try to get him to see your point of view.

Re: how did you know you were ready to ttc?

Yeah - we don't have any debt or student loans, and we could afford a kid, and we just moved into a condo in which there is plenty of room for our family to grow. The problem is that I don't know if he's using the work thing as an excuse and just doesn't feel "ready" (emotionally or whatever), which I could understand, but I don't know how to get him to be up front if that is what is going on. We've talked about it a bunch of times.

Re: how did you know you were ready to ttc?

After we got married, neither DH or I were ready to have kids at all. We came up with a plan where we would start TTC in November (based on some things that were happening in our lives that month). When November came, we were still completely not ready so we held off some more (which was fine since our "november" date was just tentative). About a month after that, we both found ourselves with a bad case of baby fever and started TTC.

I found setting a time frame helped us mentally prepare for everything.

Re: how did you know you were ready to ttc?

There's never going to be a perfect time. Once dh establishes his firm, then he'll have clients, and still work to do, etc. etc.

Tell him to stuff it ;) But seriously - there are always going to be excuses and issues - life doesn't just magically calm down and be "right". Tell him I said that, too!

I miss you!!!!

Re: how did you know you were ready to ttc?

DH and I will be married 3 years in July and will TTC this summer. I feel the same way you do..I want a baby but DH needs some more persuading. He wants kids, I just don't think he is ready to give up the "get up and go" lifestyle. We also had something we wanted to accomplish as a couple before we started a family.

There is never a perfect time. But, I feel that you come to a point when you know you're ready. It is just like everyone says. When you know, you know. I didn't want to push DH into anything and then have him resent m or the babe later on. Even though, I would be pg right now if it was up to me...it is nice when both of you are on board. I can see DH's attitude has changed and he is in the mind frame to start a family. It is nice to seriously talk about kids, daycare, names, etc. whereas before, I would get mad or frustrated because I would talk about kids and he would change the subject or ignore me!

I took me awhile to stop living my life by everyone else's biological clock, but looking back now, I wouldn't have changed anything. Are we where we wanted to be financially? NO, but most of affairs are in order, everything works out and the time is right.

Good luck!

Re: how did you know you were ready to ttc?

This is my thinking.

You are correct, there is probably neer the right time.

But there are better times than others.

My DH and I are a little older. We have established jobs, no debt, good family, good support system and are buying a home in the next month. Things are good and we are happy.

We decided, when we got married, that we would wait about a year. Even thought I was 39 when we got married. The reason is we knew it was CRITICAL to spend time together as a couple and just be married.

IMHO, and I mean this with every bit of respect I have, I have no idea why girls want to come home from their honeymoon pregnant. And what I mean is I think you just need time to yoursleves and be a little married.

So I dont disagree with your DH. Let HIM feel secure and that he will be able to support a famiy. Be married JUST a little bit.

But its your DH. If you force him and"ooppss" he might resent you. I think thats just unfair to him.

Re: how did you know you were ready to ttc?

Emotionally, DH and I were ready years ago, but for us being emotionally ready wasn't enough. DH and I both had jobs I would describe as ok, but we were living paycheck to paycheck just to meet the mortgage and bills. About 4 months ago, DH got the big promotion at work he had been waiting for. Now we are in a good place and we both feel more comfortable about raising a family.

I hope you and DH can work through this dome up with a good compromise.

Re: how did you know you were ready to ttc?

Of course I don't want him to resent me, and don't want to force it. I know that at the end of the day it's a decision we both need to come to.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that very few of his friends are in "that place" - he only has a couple friends who are even married, whereas most of my friends are married and have been for at least a year already.

Re: how did you know you were ready to ttc?

For us we wanted to wait a couple of yrs to enjoy being married and to buy a house...we have been married 2.5 yrs and have been TTC since august so you never know that it will not just happen when you are ready for it to happen...I dont know if I will ever be truly ready but I know that we want kids and thats it.

Re: how did you know you were ready to ttc?

For me initially I had baby fever right away after we got married. My DH was definitely not on board yet and I respected that. 3 years later I was starting to be concerned about being ready(more in the who is ever ready type of way) and my DH was completely gung ho. At that point I figured I needed to put away being frightened and we decided to go for it. So I guess a lot of people never feel 100% ready, but if you feel like for both of you the excitement outweighs the fears you are as ready as you'll ever be. I will say that the initial baby fever i had the first 6mo-1yr after we got married did calm down and get replaced by a more mature baby craving hehe. Good luck and have fun!