How do you deal with the questions...

I am not ttc right now but will be soon but either way, I remember before I was married, I too was part of the majority of people who start thinking about when the newly married couple might have a baby. i certainly never asked though because i always knew that wasnt the right thing to do..

but now that i am married, i get the questions and i just really dont know how to answer them. i dont feel that its anyones business at all when we will start to ttc, if we plan at all on having children or just anything about the subject and of course what if there was a reason other than we just havent been ready yet...fertility issues of course come to mind, money, marital issues, or a million other personal reasons.

so how do you answer? i really am uncomfortable when someone asks, but especially annoyed when its the same person over and over.

so how do you handle the question? and do you guys have any tips for how to get them to stop?

Re: How do you deal with the questions...

the only good thing about infertility and multiple losses is they stop asking

i say go what with you are comfy with..u can smile and say,we are working on it..say when god wants us too

or you can just say..in a few years,or we are starting to think about it

if it is someone who wont stop i either would snap back with..idk when are you having them(if it was someone who did not have kids)..if it was a douche friend of dh i would say well your big mouth is what is keeping us from going to try right now and if it was a older person i would say..oh aunt jane not yet but i promise you will be the first to know since you are always asking me then do a fake laugh

Re: How do you deal with the questions...

We get those questions a lot and its really annoying! Im always amazed that people dont think before asking because common sense should tell them that 1. Its none of their business and 2. Not everyone can just decide they want a baby and then get pregnant right away. Before we were ttc we would tell people we weren't ready. But now that we are ttc I find it to be very awkward when people ask. I don't like lying but we don't want to share we're trying in case we find out we have fertility issues. So we just do a lot of "someday, hopefully..." and hope they get the hint to change the subject.

Re: How do you deal with the questions...

I am amazed also how many people wil\l ask because that was something I was always taught was too personal of a question.
DH and I are older and have been marrried almost a year and a half so I think everyone has pretty much figured out we are TTC. If someone asks, our reply now usually is we are working on it and leave it at that.
The only ones I get a little annoyed having it come up with is BIL and SIL. Everytime it comes up they insist if DH gives up beer and caffeine (which he doesn't drink that excessively) we will get pregnant right away, just becuase that happened with them.

Re: How do you deal with the questions...

People have been pretty good about not asking us, and the ones that do - do it in a way that's not intrusive at all.

I've said things like talk to the hubby, he's the one that's holding us back (since he's younger than me). haha, or that we're working on it.

Re: How do you deal with the questions...

I would just say, "when we're ready".

Re: How do you deal with the questions...

Before we were trying I would answer "we are enjoying each other right now, when we are ready".

Now I say... "we are working on it, not much more we can do than that"...

Honestly, I am a very open person and it really doesn't bother me. Most people ask this because they know I love kids and they think I will be a great mother and that I want kids. I know they are asking because they want that for me, it comes from their heart Our family is ready for a baby again and I am the only they can get one from! haha

Re: How do you deal with the questions...

I've been married 3 years and it's never bothered me. I think people are just naturally curious and generally have good intentions. I simply say "When god gives me a baby." And usually the response is "Good answer." Then the conversation is done.

Re: How do you deal with the questions...

When we first got married I told everyone we wanted to be married a year before even thinking about it......4 years and 1 miscarriage later and now it DOES bother me when people ask, particularly anyone who KNOWS I miscarried...I just find that insensitive....like how do they know if I didn't find out we have an issue and that's why we m/c.....I'll never understand why people ASSUME you are not ttc just b/c they don't KNOW about it. I actually find myself giving off an agitated look before replying to questions now (at least from those that know or repeatedly ask)....I just can't help it!!

Re: How do you deal with the questions...

thanks guys...yeah, i think with the few people who are being really annoying and are not even friends family (rude co-workers), im going to have to give a very strong "when WE are ready" and maybe even throw in a, "you really dont need to always ask because youll be the first to know,...and possibly a sarcastic, even before my husband".......this is towards two people who told me 2012, will be your year and you will get a present and give us a present.

my husband told me to reply, yeah we are screwing every night, would you like to watch so you are sure? i think he might be onto something, i have a feeling the questions might stop then