Fair vs. Not Fair

I know we all get those moments (some more than others) where we see or hear about someone being pregnant. Sometimes there is a little green envious pang of jealousy... other times it sends us into an all-out tailspin/tirade/frenzy.

So which stories make you
and which ones make you ?

Fair= people ttc a long time or who have gone through IF treatments and are finally pg. My cousin has had so many losses after iui and ivf and finally brought home yesterday! Genuinely happy.
Also fair = stars we like. Beyonce.

Not Fair= someone much younger than me, like my student (17) who brought her daughter in yesterday (3) to meet me.
Not fair= Jessica Simpson because she's just... ugh. Jennifer Garner (love her but she's on her third so I kinda got jealous)
Not fair = the dirtbag distant cousin who doesn't even have a job, much less mothering skills.

Re: Fair vs. Not Fair

not fair = younger sister 26 yrs old three kids, three different fathers, none of them around...

Re: Fair vs. Not Fair

Even though it hurts that so many people who started trying after me have already got their babies, I can bring myself to be happy for any mother/father whom I know will provide a stable loving home for their child.

Unfair= the day I ran into the junkies on the train whose baby was cooing for their attention only for them to ignore him and nod off on each other.

Re: Fair vs. Not Fair

Im glad im not the only one. I was thinking im irrational. Fair- my gf went thru 6 years of fert treatments. when I see her sons pics on fb, it makes me smile. Unfair... Well I dont really have time for this part.

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Honestly.... I often have these 'it's not fair' moments.. but then I have to remind myself that you just don't know what else these people have going on in their lives. I know someone who recently had a baby, actually around the time when my first would have been due. On the surface, YES I am totally jealous and have said numerous times how it wasn't fair.... but ultimately, I found out she has other issues going on which I absolutely do not envy at all!! I'm sure her other situation makes her look at people all day long and think its just not fair So, while it's so easy to think it's not fair that people have it so easy having babies, etc... sometimes you just don't know what the other part of the hand they were dealt is like.

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After the initial moment of jealousy and envy subside, I can genuinely be happy, for anyone who gets pregnant and goes on to have a health baby. It's only natural, at least I think it is, to have moments of "Why not me?"

Unfair- Couples, who I personally know would make wonderful parents, and struggle so long. I think that's unfair.

Also unfair- My cousin who is married to my dad, who also slept with my soon to be ex-step-father, she's preggo. The idiot believes it is his, eventhough he was tested numerous times when my mom and him were trying, and he was told he was completely sterile. That's unfair!

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Fair = Someone who is happy about being pregnant.

Super Fair = Someone who had a long road to acheive a pregnancy. This makes me For some reason I never get jealous of those who struggled to get PG because I've been there and I know how hard it is. So that's an automatic

Not fair = Someone unhappy about their PG even though they weren't preventing it. Or how about my SIL who got pregnant and had an abortion against her DHs wishes because she felt like it then when on to get pregnant again a year later. So not fair. But honestly, I wouldn't pay to be in her shoes. She's a miserable wreck. I'd rather have to fight for it and be happy then get it easy and be miserable.

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Posted by PennyCat

Honestly.... I often have these 'it's not fair' moments.. but then I have to remind myself that you just don't know what else these people have going on in their lives. I know someone who recently had a baby, actually around the time when my first would have been due. On the surface, YES I am totally jealous and have said numerous times how it wasn't fair.... but ultimately, I found out she has other issues going on which I absolutely do not envy at all!! I'm sure her other situation makes her look at people all day long and think its just not fair So, while it's so easy to think it's not fair that people have it so easy having babies, etc... sometimes you just don't know what the other part of the hand they were dealt is like.

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PennyCat, well said. I can't tell you how many times DH has had to snap me back into reality. "But look at their marriage" or "Look at how they live".

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Not fair: anyone ever on the Maury show

Not fair: the women on the show "lock up, cell block 6" on tlc

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Posted by PennyCat

Honestly.... I often have these 'it's not fair' moments.. but then I have to remind myself that you just don't know what else these people have going on in their lives. I know someone who recently had a baby, actually around the time when my first would have been due. On the surface, YES I am totally jealous and have said numerous times how it wasn't fair.... but ultimately, I found out she has other issues going on which I absolutely do not envy at all!! I'm sure her other situation makes her look at people all day long and think its just not fair So, while it's so easy to think it's not fair that people have it so easy having babies, etc... sometimes you just don't know what the other part of the hand they were dealt is like.

Re: Fair vs. Not Fair

Posted by gina409
but i will add one unfair...the ones who get pregnant right away and then complain for 10 months about weight gain and i didnt think this would happen and i want tobe skinny



dude you are pregnant what did u think would happen

Re: Fair vs. Not Fair

I won't say unfair...I'll say something else like irony. I work in a place where I see young teenagers get pregnant all the time. I never really though anything about it because I never though I would have difficulty TTC.

Then a coworker and I were talking one day (we got married around the same time, bought a house around the same time, and were talking about starting families). She said, "If I have a hard time getting pregnant I am going to be ****** because all these young girls around us aren't even ready to be mothers." I was like....yeah good point.

Fast forward 11 months later, she just gave birth and I am 0 for 7.

I feel happy for her, and she's had it tough in other ways that I certainly don't wish on myself so I am happy that she has her little girl.

It's just so.....uhhhhhhhhhh for me.

Message edited 11/6/2011 1:38:57 PM.

Re: Fair vs. Not Fair

fair= my brother and dw after over a year trying, did ivf and are expecting healthy triplets in may

unfair= the fact that about 1/2 of my graduating class got pg right out of hs when they didn't even want to

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I think it's fair when a couple has been trying, and doing everything they can to get pregnant. Then I am completely happy for them.


I think it's ridiculous when I see a new season of 16 and pregnant on tv, and have to read about these girls who are getting pregnant just for fame and attention. My blood boils when I cant read through a magazine w.o seeing those freakin teen mom bishes

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I have one to add to the "not fair" column:

The Duggars are expecting baby #20.

Message edited 11/8/2011 10:29:30 AM.

Re: Fair vs. Not Fair

My friend posted this on FB last night... its really sticking with me...

"When everyone is doing the same thing, we all do it differently. Some faster, some slower. Some with ease, some with great difficulty. But the thing is, you can't compare yourself to how anyone else is doing. What matters is your race, not how everyone else is running it".

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Re: Fair vs. Not Fair

Posted by LIRascal

I have one to add to the "not fair" column:

The Duggars are expecting baby #20.

Re: Fair vs. Not Fair

It is not fair to keep hearing about "whoops" pregnancies and people people popping out children like pez and just people that have no business having children getting pregnant. I know I am not "god" but I am just so sad and fustrated.