Why does it seem that IL's don't

show as much interest? I know this isn't always the case, but it seems to happen alot. Do you think its because it's not their "daughter" having the baby? I just don't understand the "behavior" difference between my mom and my MIL when it comes to the baby. The baby is equally their grandchild.

What are your thoughts?

Message edited 7/26/2006 9:28:08 PM.

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

I feel the same way. My DH said he has dealt with this his whole life....my IL's live in Florida...they visit DH's sister (SIL), but not us. It's a son/daughter thing, I think.

I know if we need something for the baby, they will buy it for us...but they don't go out of their way for us, like they do for SIL.

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

My MIL is pretty distant. She called this week and thought the baby was due in early Nov. , its really due 12/18. I attribute it to this baby being thier 5th grandchild and my parent's first.

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

I do think it is different. My MIL has three grandchildren already by her own daughter. She's interested and always asks how I feel and stuff but definately not the level my parents are. I am their baby having their grandchild- its just different.

My SIL is pregnant too and my parents are excited for her and my brother but definately more excited for me. I think its just the way it is.

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

You know it's funny that you post this. Even though MIL ADORES Christopher, she definitely doesn't show as much interest as my own mother (same with the fathers). I'm curious to see how MIL will act towards SIL's baby whenever she has one.

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

I think it's just the way it is .. as long as your relationship is good with your own Mom/parents, I truly feel they'll always be a different involvement when its their "daughter" having a baby as opposed to a son/daughter in law having one

DH has two brothers, no sisters. My MIL has 6 grandkids already, 5 of which are boys (we are having a boy as well) Now I happen to be blessed with a FABULOUS MIL who adores her granchildren and is very involved and loving. She asks me all the time how I'm feeling/doing .. she is a gem. Yet it still can never be the same level as my Mom is with me and how involved she is overall .. and I understand that totally

I am my Mom's only daughter, and even though my brother and sil had the first grandchild on this side - my Mom is BEYOND excited for me, whereas I think she kept a bit of distance between herself and my bro/sil until my nephew was born. My Mom truly loves my SIL and is a good MIL to her but yet, its still different nonetheless..

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

My MIL has two grandchildren but two sons so she has been asking about me every time DH speaks to her. She desperately wanted a daughter and has made some failed attempts to make me her daughter. It is actually a little annoying.

She is also an advice giving MIL who thinks that my pregnancy is an even greater excuse to tell me what I should do

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

I can understand this. I love my MIL and she is wonderful but I will never have the same closeness that I have w/ my mother. I also allow my mother to do certain things w/ DD that I am not comfortable w/ my MIL doing like having DD spend the night or take her in her car.

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

I feel the same way, but I think it's more related to the fact that his mom lives in TX. but either way, she could show more interest. After all, when her other sone had kids, we never stopped hearing about it.

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

mine really dont care. They dont call to see how I am or the baby. They call their son and think its enough.

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

With my family - it's just the opposite. DH's side of the family can't wait for the baby and have been so generous. This is the 19th one too! My mom, she askes about things but doesn't seem all that interested or excited about me being pregnant or the arrival of a new grandchild.

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

I have an AWFUL MIL- she couldn't care less. She always tell's me what her daughter, mother of 3 did, and if I do anything differently I have to hear all about how SIL's way is better. I can't stand her- I try not to talk to her anyway, although it does upset me that she's not at least excited more for DH. I know it hurts him- but it's nothing new. Our wedding was the same way!

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

My in-laws are as excited as they get. I know they're thrilled, this is their first grandchild, they're just not overly expressive people. I've learned not to take it personally at all. I've spent the past 11 years trying to break DH of some of the bad habits they've instilled in him- like not being affectionate or expressing his feelings. I tell him all the time that he's going to kiss and hug the baby every day and tell him how much daddy loves him.

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

kj

Message edited 9/29/2007 9:02:20 PM.

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

Im having the opposite. My inlaws are AWESOME, it is my parents that have been disspointing me
Especially when it comes to my shower

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

Posted by Diane

Im having the opposite. My inlaws are AWESOME, it is my parents that have been disspointing me
Especially when it comes to my shower

Re: Why does it seem that IL's don't

I am having the same problem. I feel that my inlaws could absolutely care less, while my mom is very excited. It could possibly bebecause ILs have 6 other grandchildren and for my parents it is the first. But I would at least likea phone call every once and a while to see how I'm feeling.