advice

Hi girls , I have a family function to attend this weekend and there will be alot of family that i haven't seen in quite a while , as well as a few pregnant ppl and I was wondering when people ask "how come your not pregnant?" or "when are you gonna get pregnant?" how do you respond ??, obviously i am very very sensitive about the whole subject and I kinda feel that even though it's not ment in a malicious way it still is kinda rude to even ask someone.. give me some good comebacks please, my DH said I should just say we are trying , but I feel that too is not their buisness.

TIA

Re: advice

I have one lady (someone not even very close to me) that keeps on asking me. She asked me again right after I had another MC and I almost told her once I stop losing baby's is when I'll have another!!! People can be rude.

My suggestion to you would be to say, "when it happens, it happens" Short and brief. Good luck

Re: advice

My response is "when God says it is time"

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i say - i hope to be a mom someday- it just has not happened yet

or

were getting there

or working on it


which is usually followed by a "you need to just relax" which makes me but i expect it

Re: advice

Posted by MrsPorkChop

i say - i hope to be a mom someday- it just has not happened yet

or

were getting there

or working on it


which is usually followed by a "you need to just relax" which makes me but i expect it

Re: advice

I agree....keep it brief and don't leave it open to discussion. I usually just say "when it happens, it happens" - i try to be very casual about it. And then no one usually asks anything past that. If they did, I think I would tell them that's it's really none of their business!

Re: advice

I agree with previous posters

However, i wouldn't say 'we're working on it' or anything like that because then it makes people want to follow up with you later to see how its going

just brush them off with something simple like 'when it happens, we'll let you know' or 'not yet, give it time' and if anyone presses you, then you can gently tell them that its really not any of their business

sorry, it sucks having to answer questions like that when you're so emotionally sensitive. Some people just have no idea..

Re: advice

I just say "soon", and do my best to end the convo there!

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People used toast me this so much and even more so with ttc number 2 and maybe it's the ivf hormones but you seriously want to know what I say....sure would love to have another but wasn't blessed with it being simple...it is difficult for me to have children....they never ask again.....I get sick of it.....I call on a doc in the area and he kept asking if I was pregnant yet and i told him after asking like 6 times,my plumbing isn't working right....he then proceeded to say oh I'm a doc so elaborate....I'm like omg! He never asked again though....it is such arude question that I give it right back to em and they usually back off...But honestly it just gets old

Re: advice

For the most part people don't ask us this anymore--- although when I meet someone new and they ask if we have kids I reply "Not yet- but we're working on it". If I'm in a really bad mood I say yes, but they never made it here, in hopes that it makes them think about asking it to someone else next time. Sometimes what seems to be a harmless question can really do some damage.

I went to lunch w/ my mom a couple of weeks ago and there was a group of older women there... probably in their late 60s-early 80s, celebrating a friend's birthday. The woman sitting right next to me while waiting for a table turns to her friend and loudly says "My grandaughter is JUST getting married AND they're not trying for kids right away. Can you believe it- she's already 30! What is she going to do wait til she's 70 to have kids!?!?!?!???? " I wanted to hit her.... she then went on to talk about how women today just don't get pregnant early enough and put their careers and other things first.

I was SO SO tempted to say something to her--- to let her know that not all of us "young women today" WANT to wait to have kids, but we don't always get what we want.... My mom discreetly rolled her eyes @ me and shook her head no to tell me not to open my mouth... so I respected her and kept my lips sealed which was VERY hard to do!

Re: advice

i usually say not yet, we want to travel, then i launch into whatever plans we have next. i dont want anyone to know we are currently ttc so as to the avoid the monthly "any good news for me yet?!" question

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i usally just say we r working on it and if they still say something or just persist i mention the word infertility or problems and they seem to shut right up

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my answer is "as soon as God bless me with one"

Re: advice

Posted by MrsMessina

For the most part people don't ask us this anymore--- although when I meet someone new and they ask if we have kids I reply "Not yet- but we're working on it". If I'm in a really bad mood I say yes, but they never made it here, in hopes that it makes them think about asking it to someone else next time. Sometimes what seems to be a harmless question can really do some damage.

I went to lunch w/ my mom a couple of weeks ago and there was a group of older women there... probably in their late 60s-early 80s, celebrating a friend's birthday. The woman sitting right next to me while waiting for a table turns to her friend and loudly says "My grandaughter is JUST getting married AND they're not trying for kids right away. Can you believe it- she's already 30! What is she going to do wait til she's 70 to have kids!?!?!?!???? " I wanted to hit her.... she then went on to talk about how women today just don't get pregnant early enough and put their careers and other things first.

I was SO SO tempted to say something to her--- to let her know that not all of us "young women today" WANT to wait to have kids, but we don't always get what we want.... My mom discreetly rolled her eyes @ me and shook her head no to tell me not to open my mouth... so I respected her and kept my lips sealed which was VERY hard to do!

Re: advice

I just say eventually and change the subject.

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I would just blow it off casually and say something like "ehhh eventually" and then just drop it. Anyone who can ask really just doesn't know any better or is just plain rude!!