if you are hosting a party....

do you ask your guests to bring a dish or appetizer? someone on another board i frequent posted how they were throwing a new year's eve party where many co-workers were attending, and they asked their guests to bring an appetizer. she was shocked when a guest brought a box of breadsticks to heat up in their oven, and went on about it was so tacky to expect her to cook the appetizer.

i was so surprised how this is a common practice--asking guests to bring food to a formal event/non-potluck party. am i in the minority here? if i invite you to my party, i expect you to show up and have a good time and not worry about bringing/cooking food.

Re: if you are hosting a party....

I never ask people to bring things, but usually they offer.... KWIM?

Re: if you are hosting a party....

Re: if you are hosting a party....

Totally depends. For instance I hosted Christmas and MIL asked what to bring so I had her bring dessert. My sister brought an appetizer that needed to be heated and I didn't think anything of it. But then I have other parties when I tell people just to bring their appetites

Re: if you are hosting a party....

i think it depends on what kind of party it is. we usually have bbq's all summer long and it can get $$ to host every weekend when it comes to buying meat and sides so we usually do one big one a summer where we provide everything from the food, sides, desserts and alcohol. but for the other ones we have weekly, we ask guests to bring things and they dont seem to mind, they always ask what to bring anyway.
for other random parties, we usually provide all teh main food and when people ask what to bring i always say dessert

Re: if you are hosting a party....

We have a very small apartment so we can't really host parties. But I know when I go to parties, I always ask what I should bring and even if I'm told nothing I bring something anyway. I hate showing up empty handed. Also, I'd rather take a little pressure off the host by providing something.

For our family parties (Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc) we have always done potluck. For example, this year for Christmas my mom hosted. My aunt brought the turkey and ham, my other aunt brought the pasta dish, grandma made roasted veggies, I made a salad and some desserts, etc. We always do holidays this way (of course the host also has the responsbility of providing drinks, appetizers, etc). Of course that's just how its understood in our family- its the way we've always done things. I'm sure other people might not be used to this. I guess it just depends what you're used to.

Re: if you are hosting a party....

When I host something I always tell people we will have food and wine and SOME alcohol but if there is something specific they want to drink they can bring it. We have the basics as far as alcohol goes but we really only drink wine and I"m not about to go out and buy the stuff that everyone else wants to drink... It gets pricey. If someone asks what they can bring I usually say a bottle of wine or a dessert is fine... I've never asked people to bring a dish but I have been invited places where people have asked and I don't think it is a huge deal. Hosting can get expensive.

Re: if you are hosting a party....

Like others have said, it depends on the type of party. If it is a casual dinner, I will generally offer to bring something specific, like dessert. If it is a larger type of party, I will always bring a bottle of some type.

Re: if you are hosting a party....

i never ask my guests to bring anything.
i went to a NYE party at my cousins apt and knew she was doing a lot cooking the dinner so i offered to bring dessert. she didnt ask me, but i offered.
for that person to call it tacky to even warm up breadsticks is a bit ridiculous... instead of being thankful or appreciative she's complaining???

Re: if you are hosting a party....

i think, like many others have said, that it depends on the party/crowd.

SO's friends in socal have gtgs ALL THE TIME, because of that, everyone brings their own food. it's quite funny. usually, they bring enough to share, but it's almost like sitting in a school cafeteria with your friends and everyone brought a brown bag. they trade and share, it's funny. but that's an understanding they have with each other.

if i host a party, i don't expect anyone to bring anything. if they ask, i will usually mention that they can bring anything special that they like to drink, since i'm not much of a drinker and i don't know what's what.

if i'm a guest, i always ask. if i don't know the host or i didn't get an answer, i always bring a bottle of wine and a dessert