DH andPerformance Anxiety

Ok, so this is delicate...I just finished my clomid and DH and i r about to have what we call our "rabbit week"

we have a reoccurring problem and I wonder if anyone else has had this issue and how u dealt with it.....so, DH gets a bit a of performance anxiety...we never have this problem unless we are ttc...last month during my fertile week we had GREAT , at least it was great for me, but twice he never ejaculated and lost his erection after awhile...he says he starts to feel "pressure" and overthinks it....

have you ever experienced this and what did u do? Please advise I wanna avoid this this month if possible..or "is it what it is" and its unavoidable?

Thanks

Re: DH andPerformance Anxiety

I think lots of guys have this. Because afterall -- there is a lot of pressure on their end.

We might do a lot of work to count the days and figure out when to do it, but when the time gets there... he has to be able to perform to some level.

We aren't TTC yet but I KNOW this is going to be an issue for us if we are 'actively' trying. I think I'm going to have to actively try without him really being in the know as to when it counts.

Just do a lot of extra of whatever it is that works for him specifically...

Re: DH andPerformance Anxiety

Shaun said that he felt a lot of pressure when i told him I was Oing... and we werent even trying that time... so i decided not to tell him the next time and there were no issues at all...

Re: DH andPerformance Anxiety

I think as long as he doesnt know you are Oing then you might be ok. DH actually told me he doesnt want to know. He just told me to tell him the week I might be fertile, but thats it.

Re: DH andPerformance Anxiety

Thanks ladies..problem is i know he hates seeing the opk's and does not want ot know when I'm O'ing so I do not leave opks out but i hav to tell him...he works nights and I work days so without scheduling we really do not see much of each other during teh week, unfortunately,....i wish i did not hav to tell him

Re: DH andPerformance Anxiety

i can completely relate. the only advice i can give is to try to tell him as little as possible. instead of letting him know you are Oing, maybe just do what you can to "lure" him into sex my DH has had this problem too and it used to make me sooooooooo upset and angry but i've learned that the more i stop talking about TTC and act very casual about it, the less he has this issue during O time. also, his anxiety was making ME anxious so i made a real effort to just calm down about it so that he wouldn't feel my anxiety on top of his own (if that makes sense). and to give you some hope, we barely ever BD on ALL the right days each month and i've managed to get preggo 3x in a little over a year (all ended in losses) but the point is, i did GET pregnant and so will you! HTH

Re: DH andPerformance Anxiety

I can relate also. My poor DH would get himself so upset if things didn't work out. This month I didn't tell him anything and it was a bit better. The less they know, the better!

Re: DH andPerformance Anxiety

DH knows when I get my smiley. If I see it getting to a place where he may have a problem finishing, I pull out some crazy tricks out of my bag to help him over the edge It can be a lot mentally for them. If you are able to hold it in and not tell him that you are Oing then I would do that. For us, we don't usually BD everyday so when I start wanting to BD everday it's a giveaway!

Message edited 11/23/2010 11:31:29 AM.