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needing reassurance and perspective

Posted By Message

rosalie
LIF Infant

Member since 5/10

309 total posts

Name:
rosalie

needing reassurance and perspective

thank you! Chat Icon

Message edited 10/17/2010 6:01:54 PM.

Posted 10/14/10 2:46 PM
 
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AngnShaun
Sisters

Member since 1/10

21015 total posts

Name:
Ang

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

i would TTC as planned... and you even said it... you dont know how long its going to take... if youre ready youre ready dont worry about anything else!!!

Posted 10/14/10 2:48 PM
 

01ellie
LIF Adult

Member since 9/10

2245 total posts

Name:

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

i would TTC as planned...you dont know when it will happen, it may not affect any of the weddings....also, my best friend gave me great advice recently....

you cant plan your life around what ifs....if you're ready go for it, if not wait

Posted 10/14/10 2:50 PM
 

kelkel09
Love my twins!!!

Member since 6/10

5183 total posts

Name:
K

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Posted by AngnShaun

i would TTC as planned... and you even said it... you dont know how long its going to take... if youre ready youre ready dont worry about anything else!!!



ITA. You can't plan your life around everyone else. As far as those other weddings, just cross those roads when you get to them!

Posted 10/14/10 2:51 PM
 

BabyLoveBug143
Alyssa Rose is here!!!

Member since 9/10

3288 total posts

Name:
Jessica

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

do whats best for you!!! you cant worry about other peoples plans!

im in a wedding next sept 2011 and i dread being pregnant for her wedding! i am hoping it happens so i can already of had the baby, but in reality if im preg im preg, i cant risk waiting when i have no idea how long it will take

Posted 10/14/10 2:53 PM
 

Nik211
my little monkey<3

Member since 5/08

3303 total posts

Name:
Nik

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

it is so hard to say. some people get lucky and it happens for them right away and for others it takes months or years ttc...there is no way of knowing and "planning" for it...

i do have to say that you are a really sweet and kind person for thinking about other peoples feelings Chat Icon

i think that if you are ready and you want to start trying you should go for it. pretend that none of these other things exist and ask yourself if you are ready. i know that for me, personally, i would use things as an excuse to hold off on ttc b/c i wasn't 100% ready yet...now i am ready though! Chat Icon next year i have a sweet 16 and a wedding in NY to attend and if i can't make it b/c i am pregnant or have a newborn so be it. at first i felt bad but i can't put my life on hold for others - especially when it's not guaranteed. getting pregnant almost feels like chance, a gamble, like fate.

Posted 10/14/10 2:56 PM
 

Priscilla10
LIF Adolescent

Member since 5/10

618 total posts

Name:

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

I feel like there will always be something going on in life. And you never know how long it will take to get pregnant. If it were me, I'd start trying when we were ready and whenever it happens, figure out the timing implications.

Posted 10/14/10 3:00 PM
 

Kris828
Hopeful...

Member since 9/10

1322 total posts

Name:

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Posted by Priscilla10

I feel like there will always be something going on in life. And you never know how long it will take to get pregnant. If it were me, I'd start trying when we were ready and whenever it happens, figure out the timing implications.



ITA

Posted 10/14/10 3:07 PM
 

CatNYC123
Happy Thoughts

Member since 9/10

1531 total posts

Name:
Cathy

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

I have definiltey been in your shoes before!! Wanting to start TTC and then being a bridesmaid in a dear friend's wedding as well as my brothers wedding. If all went as planned I would have been 7 and 9 mos PG in those weddings... I would NOT let those events postpone your plans. I was worried that they might be upset that I was PG as a bridesmaid. Depending on how private you are, you could always ask how they would feel about it given your plans... thankfully Im blessed with understanding friends and family. When I agreed to be a BM, I told them I had plans of TTC so I asked if that would be an issue... they said absolutely not.. though my SIL did have a problem with it, I guess my brother talked some sense into her.
I did end up getting pg 6 moths later, but shortly after I had a m.c. Im sure this will not be your situation but it's just to prove a point that you cannot plan for anything...so just go with what you feel is right. I wish I didnt spend so much time worrying about it and being so anxious over upsetting others... the truth is, if they love you, they only want whats best for you. And only YOU know that. In the end it will work out for the best. If others don't understand then that's their problem. It seems that you have a supportive DH though so if he's on board.. then go for it and have fun!! GOOD LUCK!!!

Posted 10/14/10 3:09 PM
 

BABYblues2010
LIF Infant

Member since 7/10

193 total posts

Name:
Meghan

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Posted by Kris828

Posted by Priscilla10

I feel like there will always be something going on in life. And you never know how long it will take to get pregnant. If it were me, I'd start trying when we were ready and whenever it happens, figure out the timing implications.



ITA



ITA as well

Posted 10/14/10 3:09 PM
 

PrettyPeonies
GAW my baby boy <3

Member since 8/10

3874 total posts

Name:
Pino

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Posted by AngnShaun

i would TTC as planned... and you even said it... you dont know how long its going to take... if youre ready youre ready dont worry about anything else!!!



TOTALLY W/OUT A DOUBT AGREE!!!! Please enjoy this journey the best that you possibly can!!!!

Posted 10/14/10 4:14 PM
 

MrsDeVito
Gio's gonna be a big brother!

Member since 7/09

4671 total posts

Name:
Christina

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Posted by BABYblues2010

Posted by Kris828

Posted by Priscilla10

I feel like there will always be something going on in life. And you never know how long it will take to get pregnant. If it were me, I'd start trying when we were ready and whenever it happens, figure out the timing implications.



ITA



ITA as well



ITA 100%

Posted 10/14/10 4:40 PM
 

TryingforBaby
LIF Infant

Member since 7/10

348 total posts

Name:

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Posted by Priscilla10

I feel like there will always be something going on in life. And you never know how long it will take to get pregnant. If it were me, I'd start trying when we were ready and whenever it happens, figure out the timing implications.



I completely agree!! This is so true!!!

Posted 10/14/10 4:45 PM
 

rosalie
LIF Infant

Member since 5/10

309 total posts

Name:
rosalie

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Message edited 10/17/2010 6:01:28 PM.

Posted 10/14/10 6:05 PM
 

Hofstra26
Love to Bake!

Member since 7/06

27915 total posts

Name:

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

My advice, don't plan your life around other people's life events. You have to do what's right for you and speaking as someone who has had a looooooooooong road to children my advice is to never put off having children if that's what you really want because you never know what your road to parenthood will look like. I wouldn't put my life on hold for someone else and I don't care what the circumstance.

Posted 10/14/10 6:54 PM
 

Shelleybean11
Mommy of 2!

Member since 12/08

11013 total posts

Name:

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Posted by Priscilla10

I feel like there will always be something going on in life. And you never know how long it will take to get pregnant. If it were me, I'd start trying when we were ready and whenever it happens, figure out the timing implications.



Well said!

Posted 10/14/10 7:35 PM
 

keepingsecrets
ridiculously blessed!!

Member since 7/09

1912 total posts

Name:

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Posted by Hofstra26

My advice, don't plan your life around other people's life events. You have to do what's right for you and speaking as someone who has had a looooooooooong road to children my advice is to never put off having children if that's what you really want because you never know what your road to parenthood will look like. I wouldn't put my life on hold for someone else and I don't care what the circumstance.



ITA! Do what is best for you and what you want. The rest will fall into place.

Posted 10/14/10 8:11 PM
 

BeachGal
LIF Adult

Member since 2/10

2827 total posts

Name:
J

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Hi Rosalie! I agree with the other posters. If you want to TTC dont postpone it for these events. You never know what can happen and you have to do what is best for you. It is great that your DH is understanding. You never know, they could elope or change their date so if you want to TTC I think you should go for it.

Posted 10/14/10 9:52 PM
 

MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3

Member since 1/06

19197 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Take it from me... if you want to TTC, do it... don't put your life on hold for anyone.

Posted 10/14/10 10:05 PM
 

MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!

Member since 7/06

12020 total posts

Name:
MJ

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Never, ever put your life on hold for others.

There will always be a reason you should "hold off", but if you want to do it, then just do it. Your TRUE friends and family will be happy for you no matter what, and work around it.

Posted 10/14/10 10:58 PM
 

butterflygal
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/10

774 total posts

Name:

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Absolutely go on with your TTC schedule. I too am going to be a BM at my friend's wedding next oct. I told her that I was TTC and she said that she'll take me anyway she can! We are going on our 6th month and never dreamed it was going to take this long. So please don't hold back your life. Somehow/someway, things always have a way of working themselves out!

Posted 10/15/10 10:02 AM
 

BabyHopes15
Thank you St. G for my boy PJ!

Member since 5/10

1756 total posts

Name:
Aim

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Posted by letsmakeababy

Posted by AngnShaun

i would TTC as planned... and you even said it... you dont know how long its going to take... if youre ready youre ready dont worry about anything else!!!



ITA. You can't plan your life around everyone else. As far as those other weddings, just cross those roads when you get to them!



Perfectly said!

Posted 10/15/10 10:07 AM
 

MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....

Member since 12/09

8306 total posts

Name:
Kerri

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

Personally... I would TTC now. If you are ready now, then I wouldn't and couldn't let extenuating circumstances get in the way. Life will always be like this and there will always be bumps in the road.

This just isn't something I could ever put off for reasons other than now isn't the right time for us.

You are absolutly right when you say that you don't know where the TTC journey will lead to.... so putting it off for someone else's wedding, etc just wouldn't sit right with me. You have NOTHING to feel guilty about if you do end up pregnant for these weddings; and the brides and grooms should be nothing but happy for you!!!

My BIL's wife gave birth one week before my wedding and she couldn't attend the wedding. BIL was the best man... there was a chance he wouldn't be able to attend as well... as the BEST MAN... I still wasn't upset over it. He has more important things going on in HIS life... I wasn't anything but happy for them!!! Even if that meant no BM for the day of the wedding. People who really love you and respect your situation should be understanding of this circumstance. It would be incredibly selfish of them otherwise...

Posted 10/15/10 10:15 AM
 

Otherme
Square head cutie pants

Member since 3/06

6899 total posts

Name:

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

ive spend the last year and a half trying to plan things around the possibility i might be pregnant for an event.

- i missed a friends bachelorette party because i had to let them know 4 months in advance if i could go or not, so i chose not to in case i was preggo and couldn't drink (it was a weekend on fire island, they'd notice)
- I missed celebrating my birthday the way i wanted to last year because i was afraid to plan anything with friends at a bar 'in case i was pregnant'
etc.

If you do too much of that, eventually you'll regret the things you missed and start to realize that you can't plan on when you'll be pregnant.
You just can't
Remember, it can take the average healthy woman 6-12 months to get pregnant. There's no guarantee you'll get pregnant on your 1st try, or 3rd try or 5th try.. so if you end up skipping months or trying to plan a potential pregnancy around other events.. you'll drive yourself mad!
take it from me, i did it.. and went mad Chat Icon

Posted 10/15/10 3:35 PM
 

rosalie
LIF Infant

Member since 5/10

309 total posts

Name:
rosalie

Re: needing reassurance and perspective

thank you again everyone. Chat Icon

Posted 10/15/10 3:41 PM
 
 

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