As a BTDT, what has worked best in terms of discipline?

There was a yelling post on Parenting that really made me think that as BTDT,I'm so glad I'm at this place where I can discipline my kids using other methods - or as Joseph refers to them "she's very creative with punishments".

So now, in retrospect, what worked best for you?

Spanking really didn't work for us during the toddler stage for minor (even somewhat major offenses like hitting a baby).

Yelling did make them yell more - at each other.

I remember explaining what "behaving" meant because I thought it was vague. I had them repeat it in the car.."What is behaving mean?" "No hitting." "No yelling" "No throwing ourselves on the floor"


We would also tell them if they behaved when it was time to leave, we could come back. If not, we were never coming back, which worked well at places like Dave & Busters, Chuck E. Cheese, etc.

As a 3-4 year old, I started the 1...2...3... method which worked like a charm. 3 of course meant things like "No TV" "We are leaving immediately."

It worked so well that to this day, I can hold up one finger & there is very little protest after that.

I do love the thought that a teacher or grandparent could say "I have to call your mom" would make them behave.

I think 1.2.3 worked best overall. I am relieved that now I can get away with "no TV" "no computer" "no screen time" "no birthday party" "no playdates".

What were your successful strategies?

Re: As a BTDT, what has worked best in terms of discipline?

Set the expectiations for behavior and then follow through, no matter what. My kids know what my expectiations are, and that there will be consequences if these aren't met, no matter where we are.

Example... No fighting/roughhousing. My Ds was at a friend's house with 2 other boys. There was an altercation between two of the boys and my DS was also wrestling with them (not in a good way wrestling... they were all fighting, DS just didn't start it). All the boys got sent home. Becasue DS is aware of the rule, he was sent to his room for the rest of the day and was prohibited from going "up the block" to play with his friends for 6 weeks. The other kids involved were back on the block playing in an hour.

My DS learned something from the situation... he'll never do it again. All those kids learned was that it's ok to behave like a ruffian at someone else's house and fight with one another and there will be no consequences.

Re: As a BTDT, what has worked best in terms of discipline?

Re: As a BTDT, what has worked best in terms of discipline?

If it's me disciplining, it usually takes just a look before she knows she's treading on thin ice.

DH is a whole 'nother story....She love sto push his buttons.

What works for me is making her go to her room and be quiet for a minute (which when she is whining and crying can take closer to ten)

When she needs a "reset", I ask her to go to her room, count to 5, and come out happier, with a better attitude, or to just stop whining in general.

A spank is only used when she is being extremely fresh.

Re: As a BTDT, what has worked best in terms of discipline?

I'm not much of a yeller (I have done it though.. trust me!). Rob and I also don't believe in physical punishment (although I'll admit that I did do a couple of backside swats along the way).

I was saying on the other thread that I try to do what I would want done. So when they were younger there was a lot of that "1, 2.. 3" and done stuff.

I've worked hard to get my kids to understand the difference between entitlements and privileges and I have never had an issue taking away privileges as a result of continued negative behaviors. Now that they are older I rarely give them warning - bad behavior results in a pretty immediate result. In my mind they are old enough to know better and behave accordingly.

I always have been a big fan of positive reinforcement. When Momma is in a good mood.. the WHOLE house is happy.

Re: As a BTDT, what has worked best in terms of discipline?

Re: As a BTDT, what has worked best in terms of discipline?

Yelling has never worked for us, all it did was make them upset, me mad and everyone just plain miserable. Not that I don't still do it, but I am a work in progress

I will never hit them. I do not believe that there should ever be a reason for me to hit my kids. It does nothing IMO but teach them that hitting is an acceptable form of communication.

Time outs have worked great for us and now we do it up in there room if we know sitting on the stairs won't work.

We have started taking away provileges but it we have had a hard time with that when one kid was not allowed to play wii and the other could and we were all trying to do something together as family. I felt bad telling the non punished son he could not play wii.

Re: As a BTDT, what has worked best in terms of discipline?

Re: As a BTDT, what has worked best in terms of discipline?

Message edited 10/7/2010 7:41:31 PM.

Re: As a BTDT, what has worked best in terms of discipline?

I have older DD, but I'm still in the midst of the 2-4 year old little boy craziness over here so my judgement may be a little clouded. For us, they need to know that they don't do something bad without a consequence. For example, my 2nd grader is somewhat in charge of her own homework. I want her to have the initiative to get it started, I help her with it throughout. So the other week, she didn't take it out or even try to do it, and I didn't remind her. The next day she came home and said her teacher needed a note explainng why he homework wasn't done. So I wrote: Dear Mrs. XXXXX, there is no reason why Miranda did not complete her homework on Sept. 30. Therefore you can reprimand her anyway you see fit. Sincerely, Mrs. XXX.(I used big words so DD wouldn't know what I was saying and try to toss the note ). She came home MAD, but she takes out her homework every night now with no problem

Re: As a BTDT, what has worked best in terms of discipline?

Posted by Kidsaplenty

I have older DD, but I'm still in the midst of the 2-4 year old little boy craziness over here so my judgement may be a little clouded. For us, they need to know that they don't do something bad without a consequence. For example, my 2nd grader is somewhat in charge of her own homework. I want her to have the initiative to get it started, I help her with it throughout. So the other week, she didn't take it out or even try to do it, and I didn't remind her. The next day she came home and said her teacher needed a note explainng why he homework wasn't done. So I wrote: Dear Mrs. XXXXX, there is no reason why Miranda did not complete her homework on Sept. 30. Therefore you can reprimand her anyway you see fit. Sincerely, Mrs. XXX.(I used big words so DD wouldn't know what I was saying and try to toss the note ). She came home MAD, but she takes out her homework every night now with no problem

Re: As a BTDT, what has worked best in terms of discipline?

Posted by twicethefun

Posted by Kidsaplenty

I have older DD, but I'm still in the midst of the 2-4 year old little boy craziness over here so my judgement may be a little clouded. For us, they need to know that they don't do something bad without a consequence. For example, my 2nd grader is somewhat in charge of her own homework. I want her to have the initiative to get it started, I help her with it throughout. So the other week, she didn't take it out or even try to do it, and I didn't remind her. The next day she came home and said her teacher needed a note explainng why he homework wasn't done. So I wrote: Dear Mrs. XXXXX, there is no reason why Miranda did not complete her homework on Sept. 30. Therefore you can reprimand her anyway you see fit. Sincerely, Mrs. XXX.(I used big words so DD wouldn't know what I was saying and try to toss the note ). She came home MAD, but she takes out her homework every night now with no problem

Love that!

Re: As a BTDT, what has worked best in terms of discipline?

We are in toddler stage.
I am finding that the best route is reward charts. Threatening to remove a sticker from the chart which in return she loses a prize seems to do the trick.
My dd has never gone for the verbal threats or yelling. She has always been one to be very laid back thinking most things are funny and humorous. Not a very serious child at all.
Adding- I tried time outs but she gets up laughs, I put her back, and she gets up laughs etc... She NEVER gets to the stage of crying/remorse like on super nanny...WTH??? LOL

Message edited 10/8/2010 7:12:41 AM.