dh and i were talking and were wondering

when i deliver, when he should take off of work..and how long? its so hard as it is for him to take off so i told him at least the 1st day im in the hospital..i think the rest of the days im in the hospital i would have so many other people there that i wouldnt need him there..i would rather him take off of work when i get home..but is that a pain also with everyone stopping by during the 1st week? its our first baby and grandchild..so i know my mil and mom will be over so much..should he take off the 2nd week? or will he prob want to take off a.s.a.p..considering its his 1st baby and will be excited? thanks

Re: dh and i were talking and were wondering

I felt the same way as you with him going to work when I was in the hospital, till I had the baby. I am so glad my DH was off with me I would count the seconds till the Father's visiting hours would start. Plus he will be so excited I don't see how he would be able to work.

Re: dh and i were talking and were wondering

Dh was originally planning on taking the first 2 weeks off. Then when I had a c-section and would be spending the first 4 days in the hospital we thought that would be a waste for him to use the time then. So he went to work and took off once I was home. Even though we had a lot of visitors I was very happy he was there.

Re: dh and i were talking and were wondering

I would suggest that you husband take off to be with you at the hospital just in case, God forbid, there are any complications with you or the baby...you will want him there. Plus, those first days in the hospital, I'm sure he won't want to miss them.

Then I would suggest taking the week right after the baby is born and put the word out to family that you will welcome occassional visits, but since DH will be home that first week, you are really looking forward to some family time to get in a routine of some sort and get comforatble with bathing, changing the baby etc without everyone's input.

THen tell your mom and MIL that they are more than welcome to spend the days with you when DH has to return to work.

Re: dh and i were talking and were wondering

My DH took off a week and a half and we both wished it was longer. Its great to have DH home and you will appricate it if you want to nap or need a rest.

We also let everyone - famly and friends - know that we didnt want ANY visitors the first 3 days we were home. It was great, everyone pretty much gave us that time to get settled. After 3 days we realized we should have said 5 days but it was OK. By 5 days home we were really ready to have visitors.

Re: dh and i were talking and were wondering

DH took off the first week both times. I had my mother & my sisters around to help me out with anything I needed also.

Re: dh and i were talking and were wondering

My grandson is 5 months old and my daughter had a c-section. My son-in-law had planned to take off when she came home from the hospital, but, took off the whole time she was in the hospital because she really needed him there. She was in a tremendous amount of pain and was not capable of feeding, holding or lifting the little guy. Even though she had many visitors, they are only there for such a short time. When she came home, he was off for the following week. He really was a tremendous help to her and saw to it that she rested. Just a word of advice: I find it absolutely amazing that everyone feels the need to come to someone's home the day they come home from the hospital after giving birth. You need to get your rest and start recuperating. You don't need a large contingency of people parading through your home and you, certainly, don't need to entertain anyone. I told my daughter that I wouldn't be there the day she came home, or, for that matter, for a few days, and I wasn't. I did cook for her and left it on her porch before she got home. If she needed me she would have called. I did talk to her to see how everything was going and that was sufficient. If possible, tell people that you really need your rest and that you would like to curtail visiting. I know your mom and MIL will probably want to be there, but, they need to understand that they don't need to be there all day. If your husband can't take off from work, then you will probably need help. That's what mothers are for and I am sure your mom will be only too happy to pitch in. Good luck!

Re: dh and i were talking and were wondering

Re: dh and i were talking and were wondering

thank you all so much...its our first baby and we are so oblivious to what we would and wouldnt need..and you are absolutely right..dh is NOT going to be able to work with his first born daughter here..and i would def need his comfort after a long haul!!! thanks again!!! you were all so helpful!!