Reflections of a TTC'er

In a year of TTC, I’ve learned…

- TTC is like a marathon. You’re excited and nervous at the start, unsure if you prepared enough, but in the end, you look towards the finish line and realize you are about to accomplish something amazing that you will proudly remember the rest of your life.

- That I’m stronger, more resilient than I ever thought I was. Part of me thinks that I am going through this because I can handle it.

- There is no such thing as a timeline during TTC. If you think it’s going to happen on your schedule, you’re kidding yourself.

- Our bodies are pretty amazing. I never realized that my body works like clockwork, month after month.

- I have no doubt in my mind that I am ready. Ready to be PG, ready to be a mom, ready to give up the carefree life I have now for a hectic, sleepless life!

- Seeing a BFN, even when you know it’s not going to be positive is so disappointing. But seeing AF is even worse.

- No one understands what you are going through unless they’ve been through it themselves. The longer it takes, the less interested people are in your trouble. The best place to find someone to vent to is LIF.

- You can want a baby more than anyone on this planet, but it doesn’t mean you’ll get PG faster.

Feel free to add on to the list….

Message edited 8/4/2010 7:30:26 PM.

Re: Reflections of a TTC'er

-That no matter how undeserving of children some people are they will STILL get pregnant.

-That it's ok to cry and spend the day AF/Negative Beta comes in bed, BUT eventually you have to get up, wipe away the tears and keep trying.

-That no one knows the "right" thing to say to someone struggling with TTC.

-That DH and I will never face anything in life that we can't handle together.

-That unfortunately, until I am a mother I will never feel complete.

Re: Reflections of a TTC'er

Christina, you just made me cry. ITA with everything you added.

Re: Reflections of a TTC'er

Posted by WishingforBaby

Christina, you just made me cry. ITA with everything you added.

Re: Reflections of a TTC'er

- That my DH is even more wonderful, caring, kind and supportive than I could have ever imagined him to be.

- That DH & I truly are a TEAM in every sense of the word. I may feel emotions stronger than he does, especially all the ups and downs every few weeks, but we are in this TOGETHER.

- That few things sting quite as much as hearing that someone got pregnant without even trying, or on their first try. I know its NOT their fault that WE are having troubles, and I am truly happy for them that they do not have to experience TTC the way I am ... but that doesn't take away the sting.

Re: Reflections of a TTC'er

You guys are making me cry! Ok, AF is definitely on her way.

Re: Reflections of a TTC'er

ok, this is a repost of the post (with some updates) i made on the "super seniors" post from like a month ago... but i feel like not only is it equally relevant now and appropriate for this post as well, but i could also use to read it again for my own inspiration!!! thanks for letting me share...


16th month TTC - since May 2009

D/X with PCOS in November 2009

2 Chemical Pregnancies - 1 with a beta of 5 and another with a beta of 46

Injected myself more times than I can count - Follistim, Gonal-F, Ovidrel, Ganirelix, Lovenox

Diagnosed with Blood Clotting Issues, and Immune High NK Cells

DH and I have a partial HLA-C match which further causes implantation and immunological issues

Have had to have a nurse come to my house and administer IV Intralipids, yes, a bag of fat dripping into my blood stream for 2 hours

Have taken at times over 15 pills each day

Have shoved gel and suppositories up my hoo-ha more than once a day

Have hyperstimmed and produced 10+ follies and had the cycle cancelled

Have been so bloated that I needed DH to tie my shoe

Have been so crabby that even I annoyed myself

Have been jealous of everyone that's gotten a BFP, and every lady that walks by with a baby belly or a newborn or a toddler

Have temped and used OPKs and bought a CBEFM and spent hundred of dollars on HPTs

Have gotten more UTI's from than ever in my life

Have at times had to leave this board completely because watching people come and get a BFP on their first cycle makes me want to strangle myself. Esp. when they complain about "how hard it is." Girl, you don't know the half of it.......

ALL of that being said..

16months TTC I have learned to have more patience than anyone I know

Have met the best doctor and one of the best people I have ever come in contact with in real life

Have learned more about my body than I ever thought I would

Have grown closer than ever with my husband and now also with my mom and dad and IL's

Have stopped being scared of HAVING a baby, and gotten more scared of what life will be like if I CAN'T

Have changed my diet to eat healthier and care less about how many calories I am eating and more about the health content of the foods I am putting in me

Have discovered acupuncture and meditation and spirituality.

I have remembered and relearned how to pray, and have prayed hard for both myself and sometimes specifically for others as well.

Have discovered that I may want (and have the ability) to become a nurse specializing in fertility.

Have for the most part stopped stressing over the little things in life

Have learned to give myself injections, fill syringes, and give 20 tubes of blood without feeling like I'm going to pass out

Have learned to be strong even when I don't want to be

Have somehow managed to continue to do all these meds (perhaps foolishly) with timed intercourse over IUI or IVF at this point, because I still want to have one last shred of doing this the "natural" way if I can.

Have learned that it's Ok to cry A LOT, especially when DH is crying with you.

Have found friends here that I spend more time talking to about more important things than I do with most of my "real life" friends

Have learned to continue to have hope and stay strong and positive even through the toughest thing I have ever experienced in this life.

Have learned that the day I get to hold my baby in my arms will be a day of appreciation and gratitude that I never would have known had I got pregnant in my first cycle.

So although TTC, PCOS and infertility SUX majorly, with all of the negative things I have learned and experienced, I wouldn't be the person that I am now if I had not experienced it.

I feel like my path in life is forever altered because of what I have experienced, and in the end I am hoping that it is all for the better, and I am hoping that all of us that have to endure the pain and suffering of infertility get to hold our babies very soon.

Message edited 8/4/2010 8:06:41 PM.

Re: Reflections of a TTC'er

i just can't finish reading this post. ladies, i really don't know what to say, i just wish i could come through the computer and give each and every one of you hugs.

i know, for a fact, that it will be one day soon that you will be able to hold your LO. i wish and hope that it will be really soon.

Re: Reflections of a TTC'er

This is such a wonderful, heart touching post. DH and I have not officially started TTC yet but Im sure its not going to be an easy simple one (tho I hope it is). My heart goes out to you ladies who have been trying for a long time now and have gone through so much physically, emotionally and mentally. Remember, we are here for you whenever you need us!

Re: Reflections of a TTC'er

That praying is something we do on our time, but the answers come in God's time

ok i stole this from the movie Rudy - but i think it really applies to TTC - i find that waiting month after month is one of the hardest things

Re: Reflections of a TTC'er

wow! I have tears in my eyes reading what you girls posted I have been learning that this process wasn't easy, but I had NO CLUE what some of you go through!

Re: Reflections of a TTC'er

you girls are making me cry

Re: Reflections of a TTC'er

I'm tearing up