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shiv
Twinsanity!!
Member since 5/07 4747 total posts
Name:
Shiv
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Will you tell?
Hey ladies, I'm just looking down at my miracle son conceived through IVF and wondering if I'll ever tell him how he came about?
What do you think you will do?
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Posted 6/25/10 11:43 AM  |
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smp123
Praying for the LOs!
Member since 1/09 1630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Will you tell?
Congrats on your new baby!
I am having twin boys and we did PGD with IVF and i think we will tell them how they came to be!
how about you?
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| Posted 6/25/10 1:01 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Will you tell?
I see no reason to tell Abby and Zippy how they were conceived with assistance as young children. I never wanted to go through IF treatments. I just wanted to be like everyone else. I prefer to focus on the fact that they are healthy children brought into the world with purpose and love.
If by some chance, as adults, they should struggle with infertility, I would share with them then as a show of support and understanding. I just don't think it is necessary to tell a child that I went to a lab. I am hardly ashamed, I just think it is too big of a concept for them to understand. JMO.
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| Posted 6/25/10 1:24 PM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Will you tell?
I will tell him everything when I feel he is old enough to understand 
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| Posted 6/25/10 1:30 PM |
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Re: Will you tell?
Posted by Goldi0218
I see no reason to tell Abby and Zippy how they were conceived with assistance as young children. I never wanted to go through IF treatments. I just wanted to be like everyone else. I prefer to focus on the fact that they are healthy children brought into the world with purpose and love.
If by some chance, as adults, they should struggle with infertility, I would share with them then as a show of support and understanding. I just don't think it is necessary to tell a child that I went to a lab. I am hardly ashamed, I just think it is too big of a concept for them to understand. JMO.
ITA with this. I didnt have to go through IVF but I was treated for recurrent mc and I dont think there is any reason to tell my child(ren) about what we went through and the losses, unless they experience problems when they are older.
My stupid MIL actually once said to me that my m/cs would be "stories to tell my children." 
Edited for spelling
Message edited 6/25/2010 1:37:05 PM.
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| Posted 6/25/10 1:36 PM |
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TTCbaby
Twin mommies are twice as nice
Member since 4/08 1861 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Will you tell?
I don't see any reason to sit them down to specially tell them but if it were to ever come up I can't see myself lying about it either.
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| Posted 6/25/10 2:00 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: Will you tell?
Posted by daisy32
I will tell him everything when I feel he is old enough to understand
Us as well ...
I am in no way ashamed and I tell as many people that will listen to raise awareness about IF....That will include my children.
As strange as this is going to sound, during my cycles, and even now- I am truly amazed at how they were created ...Just like couples that do not struggle with infertility- they were conceived by love first and foremost....And anyone that has dealt with IF knows just how strong a couples love must be to face the challenges that IF poses..
The fact that I have a photo of my DD as an embryo is astonishing to me 
ETA- Just to clarify that I am not implying that those of you who choose not to tell your DC's are ashamed to tell them..I know that everyone has their own reasons to share/not share with them
Message edited 6/25/2010 2:19:09 PM.
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| Posted 6/25/10 2:14 PM |
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sasha96
lovin' my 2 little ladies!
Member since 5/05 7401 total posts
Name:
Julianne
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Re: Will you tell?
I had IUIs for DD1 and we conceived DD2 on our own. I don't plan to sit them down and tell them, but I'm sure as they get older a conversation about IF will come up (from someone we know who will go through it, TV, movie, etc). I have no problem telling them and I plan to be a role model about healthy, open attitudes about IF.
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| Posted 6/25/10 2:43 PM |
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angel333
Sigh.....
Member since 3/10 1803 total posts
Name:
AKS
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Re: Will you tell?
Posted by Goldi0218
I see no reason to tell Abby and Zippy how they were conceived with assistance as young children. I never wanted to go through IF treatments. I just wanted to be like everyone else. I prefer to focus on the fact that they are healthy children brought into the world with purpose and love.
If by some chance, as adults, they should struggle with infertility, I would share with them then as a show of support and understanding. I just don't think it is necessary to tell a child that I went to a lab. I am hardly ashamed, I just think it is too big of a concept for them to understand. JMO.
ITA
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| Posted 6/25/10 2:52 PM |
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kmac
Two under two!
Member since 5/07 3703 total posts
Name:
Kris
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Re: Will you tell?
I don't know what I'd do. My son is IVF and now I'm pregnant with no assistance. I wouldn't want DS to feel bad about how he was conceived compared to his sister. My husband's 18 year old cousin was an IVF baby and then her 2 sisters were both unplanned. Their family is v. open about it...I might ask his aunt when I see her in July how she told her eldest daughter, or how it came up. I wouldn't want my son to hear it from anyone else, so I might feel like I have to tell him eventually. I've never been quiet about it, I'm not ashamed about it at all so I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
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| Posted 6/25/10 2:56 PM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Will you tell?
Posted by Goldi0218
I see no reason to tell Abby and Zippy how they were conceived with assistance as young children. I never wanted to go through IF treatments. I just wanted to be like everyone else. I prefer to focus on the fact that they are healthy children brought into the world with purpose and love.
If by some chance, as adults, they should struggle with infertility, I would share with them then as a show of support and understanding. I just don't think it is necessary to tell a child that I went to a lab. I am hardly ashamed, I just think it is too big of a concept for them to understand. JMO.
ITA.
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| Posted 6/25/10 3:00 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Will you tell?
I'll tell... but when he's older.
IMO, kids don't like to feel different...
BUT when my kid is old enough (think teen)... I'll put together a book including that 1st pic of him as an embryo and all his ultrasound pics, as well as some shots of me injecting my belly and the bag of meds and needles that I finished. I also have a shot of my RE and nurse team.
We worked HARD to get him into this world. I smile and tell DH.. it took me, him, our RE and so much staff to get here. How can I NOT share that?
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| Posted 6/25/10 4:22 PM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9924 total posts
Name:
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Re: Will you tell?
I tell DS (who is 8 months) everyday. "Do you know how special you are? Mommy and Daddy wanted you so badly that we went to a special doctor just so we could have you. I had to take a lot of medicine but here you are. Mommy's little miricale"
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| Posted 6/25/10 6:55 PM |
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Re: Will you tell?
If I ever get lucky enough, I sure will!! I plan on having a collage in the nursery that includes embryo shots (if we go the IVF route again). I would want my child to know from the get-go that we are all here for a reson and that a lot of other people were here (the re, nurses, etc) just so my child could have the miracle of life.
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| Posted 6/25/10 7:08 PM |
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Athee
I believe in miracles!
Member since 8/07 2462 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Will you tell?
I dont see why not... obviously when they are old enough to understand, but sure!
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| Posted 6/26/10 11:56 AM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Will you tell?
If/when it comes up, I have no problem sharing! I don't plan on the topic coming up though until the teen years or later 
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| Posted 6/26/10 12:16 PM |
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shiv
Twinsanity!!
Member since 5/07 4747 total posts
Name:
Shiv
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Re: Will you tell?
Posted by Domino
I tell DS (who is 8 months) everyday. "Do you know how special you are? Mommy and Daddy wanted you so badly that we went to a special doctor just so we could have you. I had to take a lot of medicine but here you are. Mommy's little miricale"
This is what brought about my question- the fact that these babies were so wanted and desired and were brought about in a very special way. I just feel like I want to let him know how special he is!
I agree, not really a sit him down and tell him everything, but more of a just to let you know that your my little miracle.
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| Posted 6/26/10 12:31 PM |
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Jen2999
Baby girls & beagles rock!
Member since 8/06 10356 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Will you tell?
when she is older and asks about my pregnancy etc..sure.
I actually have a pic of all my meds on my kitchen counter....
I totally planning on using that defense when she is 16 and is giving my grief about something. HAHAHA.
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| Posted 6/26/10 12:45 PM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Will you tell?
DH and I had discussed this when were going through iF treatment and I think one day I will tell our  . She is a miracle and we wanted a baby so much, I'm not ashamed or how she was conceived in anyway. I also was the one pcos so I'm sure conversations about that will come up as she becomes a teenager and young woman.
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| Posted 6/26/10 2:28 PM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Will you tell?
I am a product of fertility treatments. My mother struggled for 12 years to get pregnant and she did with my brother. Took her another 3 years to have me (I also have adopted siblings).
She was always very open with all of us about adoption and her struggle with infertility. She would, and still tells us, we were the most wanted children on the planet
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| Posted 6/26/10 4:20 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Will you tell?
Posted by katiebug
I am a product of fertility treatments. My mother struggled for 12 years to get pregnant and she did with my brother. Took her another 3 years to have me (I also have adopted siblings).
She was always very open with all of us about adoption and her struggle with infertility. She would, and still tells us, we were the most wanted children on the planet
That is such a sweet story!
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| Posted 6/26/10 6:09 PM |
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shelby34
Love being a twin mommy!
Member since 5/07 2934 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Will you tell?
Posted by katiebug
I am a product of fertility treatments. My mother struggled for 12 years to get pregnant and she did with my brother. Took her another 3 years to have me (I also have adopted siblings).
She was always very open with all of us about adoption and her struggle with infertility. She would, and still tells us, we were the most wanted children on the planet
My mother also had a very difficult time conceiving me and she shared those struggles with me, when I was old enough to understand. She really made me feel like I was so, so wanted that she went through all that she did just for me to be here.
So, that being said, my twins will know that DH and I went through a ton to conceive them and I will pass along the same message as my parents did to me.
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| Posted 6/26/10 6:56 PM |
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spooks
So in love!
Member since 6/06 4378 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: Will you tell?
I think I will when he's an adult, if he and his wife need to know for any reason or if he just asks, I'll be honest and tell him.
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| Posted 6/26/10 10:15 PM |
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maybemommy10
Big Brothers to Be !
Member since 2/10 3868 total posts
Name:
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Re: Will you tell?
Probably not, but in all fairness, I wouldn't share the story if they were conceived the "traditional" way either
My children will know that they were made from love, and wanted more than anything else in the world, by both DH and myself, I would think this would be enough.
If the day came when they were ADULTS and struggled with IF, I would then share how they came to be because I could then see a reason for them knowing.
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| Posted 6/27/10 10:03 AM |
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