Talking to DH about RE

Hi ladies,
I posted awhile back asking about how you knew it was time to see an RE. I hope you don't mind that I'm asking another question. I think it's time for us to see an RE and DH isn't so sure.
Just to give a little background- we took the see what happens approach for awhile- nothing happened and have been actively trying for about a year- still nothing.
When I talked to DH about seeing an RE, he thought I was overreacting and wanted to give it some more time to do it on our own. I think DH is afraid that we will find the problem is with him- he's said as much to me. I think he's afraid to be the cause of my pain.
So, did anyone else go through something similar? Did it get better once you got DH to go to an RE? Any advice on how to convince him.

Re: Talking to DH about RE

we have not seen an RE just yet, but we have been doing all of the testing for infertility and are on our way to insemination very soon.

Your DH sounds like mine. I knew something was wrong way before DH did, he kept saying "next cycle we will try again" and "be patient, it will happen" but as time went by and nothing was happening, I told him I was making an appointment and went for the consult. Now after all this time and testing he has finally warmed up to the fact that we need medical intervention since we have been trying for well over a year.

maybe you could make an appointment with your ob/GYN for a consult and take it from there, maybe once the Gyn refers you to the RE, he will realize that maybe you do have a need for one.

Also, it is better to know if something is causing your infertility, in many cases they know how to treat it or know how to handle it when it comes to IVF or insemination.

GL!

Message edited 5/24/2010 8:23:08 PM.

Re: Talking to DH about RE

My DH was good when I initially made the appointment...but then right before he got really nervous. I was trying to prep him for things that the dr may say or suggest we do and he was like why can't we try more on our own. But once we saw Dr. B and he agreed that we did have our issues DH was on board for whatever he wanted us to do.

It is really scary for them...I don't think they have as good as an understanding as we do. I think my Dh got very scared that he might not be able to have a child..and freaked a little bit.

He will come around and probably sooner than you think!

Re: Talking to DH about RE

Well, when we went to the RE we already knew I had PCOS. That being said, we didn't know if DH also had an issue. He had no reservations at all about going to the RE or getting an SA. He just wanted to know the best way we could make it happen.
I think you could tell your DH to look at it that way. No matter where the issue lays, going to an RE is the only way to be on the road to fixing it. Ignoring it won't make it go away - it will just prolong the inevitable, and cause you more disappointment each month.

Re: Talking to DH about RE

we knew going in to the RE that DH might have an issue b/c he has a varicosile.

we ttc on our own for a year and when nothing happened, DH finally agreed to go to RMA.

we were not surprised that his numbers were low, but he felt really bad that his swimmers are partly to blame for our issues.

after my hsg, we learned that i have some issues too.

like others have said, it's better to find out now rather than keep prolonging the inevitable. so you can deal with the problem and fix it and do what you need to do to get pregnant.

RMA offers counseling if you need it to deal w/ fertility issues.

Re: Talking to DH about RE

Re: Talking to DH about RE

After we were trying with no luck, even DH realized there was a problem. DH knew I was having very long cycles and that I was ovulating really late. I brought it up to him how I wanted us to go to an RE so that they can help shorten my cycle and for him to get a SA. He was never against getting the test done, but was REALLY nervous. He told me that his "manhood" was on the line and that men want to be able to get their wives pregnant.

So when we first went to the RE, we knew I was the one with the issue but we didnt know if he was going to be an issue also. I would just continue being honest with your DH about what is going on with your body and what you are going through.

I dont think my DH realized how many young couples go to an RE until we saw them in the waiting room. Now, he is much more confortable with this whole going to an RE business. He goes with me to appts if he can get off of work and is really supportive. We actually just decided to start trying IUIs....and my DH was really against this because he felt it wasnt "natural"....again its his manhood lol!!! I told him all the IUI is doing is putting his best swimmers up there.

Sorry I just went on and on lol!!! I just wanted you to see what I have experienced with my DH. I keep him informed about everything that is going and def. tell him how I feel. Oh and I forgot to mention that DH gave me the trigger shot.... so we've come a long way lol!! The more you talk to the doctor, the more your DH will get comfortable but take baby steps and he'll come along

Good luck with everything!!!

Re: Talking to DH about RE

My DH was all for it, actually he was the one who was pushing for it and I was the one showing resistance... I didn't want to face the truth but little by little I finally realized that the chances of a pregnancy would be very slim if we wouldn't get help An important thing to come to grips with is that this is not a blame game. It takes 2 people to make a baby. Our egos have to be set aside and focus on what is important, which is ending up with a healthy, beautiful happy little baby Good Luck to all of us

Re: Talking to DH about RE