CaidensMommy
My 3 Miracles!
Member since 5/05 5777 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Ok... IL issues!
I'm arguing with my DH about this. My SIL is due to have a baby in a few weeks. Well, he said that we should be the bigger person and go see the baby. Well, the history with his sister is that my DH and her NEVER got along they always hated each other. She tried to ruin our wedding, she doesn't visit us, though we go up to MD to visit her and his parents, she never came to see our son when he was born, and hasn't since, she'll see him for about 1-2 hours if we're up there in MD to visit, then when she leaves she doesn't even say goodbye. Well, my MIL and FIL aren't much better either. They never make any effort to come visit us, though they can afford it, we always have to take off from work, lose money and spend money to go up there, and when we do see them they never play with my son, when I was PG, I basically didn't exist and then when my son was born I had to fight with them to get them to come down here and see him and us. We hardly see them, they hardly see their first grandchild. Now that I'm PG again, it's the same thing all over again. My son and I don't exist basically, and my SIL is the same way!  It really irritates me for my DH to say we should go see the baby after he's born! Now don't get me wrong, I love babies, and I know that we will see him at some point, but why should we go out of our way for them!!! Lose pay from work, etc. for people that make me feel like we're not important to them in any way. His sister is a b@tch, and I can't stand her, all she does is whine, and it's all about me, me, me! He just keeps saying how we should be the bigger person here. I'm sorry I just can't. There is too much of a history from them. I also told my DH that I'm not saying anything to his parents about coming to see our new baby boy this time. I give up! They'll only have another excuse why they can't! I could keep going but this is already long. What does everyone think? Am I wrong or is it understandable? I normally would be the bigger person, but this time, I just can't!  My DH just doesn't understand how much it hurts me that his parents are not a big part of our lives. He used to be sooo close to them, then we move out of state and we don't exist anymore, well hardly!
I just wanted to add that my DH does feel I'm right about what has happened and does agree, but he said we need to be adults! 
Message edited 5/23/2006 10:15:27 AM.
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anon
where's winter?
Member since 11/05 2209 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ok... IL issues!
DH and his sister don't get along also. i have been the person who has kept things together until i couldn't take it anymore when she elected to ignore me when i became preggo (she is having infertility issues).
DH's family in general is very difficult to deal with, but we will continue to be civil for the sake of the family. i don't necessarily want my  around certain types of behavior they exhibit, but for the few times a year we see them i'll **** it up. i don't go out of my way anymore, but we try to arrange things during the holidays and special occasions.
think of DH, and think of the long term. it may be nice for your children to know their cousins even though the parents are not the best of friends. i would support DH but keep the visits to a minimum.
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