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05mommy09
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by DjPiLL
Posted by Princessmaris
We have agreed to take our entire tax return and pay off half the credit cards... and *possibly* take 5 k outta saving to pay the other half... (I so badly just wanna be CC debt free)
Two questions:
You say "our" tax return... but you say you aren't currently working? Was this tax return from his W2s only? Or were you working during 2005? If you were home for all of 2005... that tax return is theoretically "his cash" because you can't say "you are paying off his debt".
And regarding this 5k saving? Was that your savings from before you were engaged? I would guess yes by what you are saying.
I DO still currently work... just part time...
But for the year of 2005- I worked FT, up until the week before I gave birth (which was on 9/30/05) and while I wason maternity, I was still making $$$ )
I would ALSO like to add, a BIG part of the refund was because I am STILL a STUDENT...
SO I got a big portion of my $$$ back...
Its part of the money my parents gave us because we cancelled our wedding....
WHICH WAS ONLY GIVEN TO US TO BUY A HOUSE WITH... HAD MY PARENTS KNOWN IT'D BE PAYING OFF RYS CC BILLS... THEY PROB WOULDNT OF GIVEN IT TO US! (Yes it was a gift and we could do what we want with it... but that was the deal we made when it was given to us)
Message edited 4/1/2006 11:27:14 PM.
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Posted 4/1/06 11:26 PM  |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by PiyoPika566
what difference does this make?? she already said what she's upset about is not the debt her DH raked up prior to engagement, but it's the fact that he wants to spend $1k on his truck NOW.
I am sorry, I have a problem with men thinking they are the king because they bring home the money (this is precisely the reason why I will always work, eventhough my FH will never make me feel less if I decide to be a SAHM).
If she isn't home to take care THEIR son, how is he able to work full time?
Thats not the tone I got. She said she was ****** because she has to pay "HIS BILLS".
She even mentioned that he was paying for his toys with cash since they got engaged.
The 1k truck thing wasn't even mentioned until the post was halfway over (way after the HIS bills part).
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| Posted 4/1/06 11:27 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by Princessmaris
WHICH WAS ONLY GIVEN TO US TO BUY A HOUSE WITH... HAD MY PARENTS KNOWN IT'D BE PAYING OFF RYS CC BILLS... THEY PROB WOULDNT OF GIVEN IT TO US! (Yes it was a gift and we could do what we want with it... but that was the deal we made when it was given to us)
Well I do have to give you credit for the willingness to pay off his bills. Not everyone would be willing to do that. 
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| Posted 4/1/06 11:29 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by PiyoPika566
Posted by DjPiLL
Posted by Princessmaris
We have agreed to take our entire tax return and pay off half the credit cards... and *possibly* take 5 k outta saving to pay the other half... (I so badly just wanna be CC debt free)
Two questions:
You say "our" tax return... but you say you aren't currently working? Was this tax return from his W2s only? Or were you working during 2005? If you were home for all of 2005... that tax return is theoretically "his cash" because you can't say "you are paying off his debt".
And regarding this 5k saving? Was that your savings from before you were engaged? I would guess yes by what you are saying.
what difference does this make?? she already said what she's upset about is not the debt her DH raked up prior to engagement, but it's the fact that he wants to spend $1k on his truck NOW.
I am sorry, I have a problem with men thinking they are the king because they bring home the money (this is precisely the reason why I will always work, eventhough my FH will never make me feel less if I decide to be a SAHM).
If she isn't home to take care THEIR son, how is he able to work full time?
DH dosent think he is kind because he brings home the beacon....Im sorry if Im giving off that impression...
BUT- it is the reason I feel uncomfortable discussing this with him...
Now he is talking about asking his parents for the money (Yes he is/was that spoiled growing up  ) SO he dosent have to spend "our" money
Grrrr... he is making me so mad! That is the LAST thing I want him to do!
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| Posted 4/1/06 11:29 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by DjPiLL
Posted by Princessmaris
WHICH WAS ONLY GIVEN TO US TO BUY A HOUSE WITH... HAD MY PARENTS KNOWN IT'D BE PAYING OFF RYS CC BILLS... THEY PROB WOULDNT OF GIVEN IT TO US! (Yes it was a gift and we could do what we want with it... but that was the deal we made when it was given to us)
Well I do have to give you credit for the willingness to pay off his bills. Not everyone would be willing to do that.
Because I DO recognize they are now our bills... and in order to be debt free... thats what has to be done!
BUT- Im most certainly not going to do this... if he is gonna go out and spend a grand on a truck...
If there is an extra grand around... it should be paying off bills!
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| Posted 4/1/06 11:31 PM |
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PiyoPika566
talk to the hand
Member since 5/05 1436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by DjPiLL
Posted by PiyoPika566
what difference does this make?? she already said what she's upset about is not the debt her DH raked up prior to engagement, but it's the fact that he wants to spend $1k on his truck NOW.
I am sorry, I have a problem with men thinking they are the king because they bring home the money (this is precisely the reason why I will always work, eventhough my FH will never make me feel less if I decide to be a SAHM).
If she isn't home to take care THEIR son, how is he able to work full time?
Thats not the tone I got. She said she was ****** because she has to pay "HIS BILLS".
She even mentioned that he was paying for his toys with cash since they got engaged.
The 1k truck thing wasn't even mentioned until the post was halfway over (way after the HIS bills part).
SO?? it is his debt, but she understands that now they are married it's "their" debt... just like even if she isn't working.. it's THEIR tax refund, THEIR money... end of story.
Sorry to hijack your post Marisa!
ETA: I didn't say the "king" comment because of your DH. I was directing at some men! Sorry, I should of clarify at my previous post!!
Message edited 4/1/2006 11:33:53 PM.
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| Posted 4/1/06 11:31 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by Princessmaris
Now he is talking about asking his parents for the money (Yes he is/was that spoiled growing up ) SO he dosent have to spend "our" money
Grrrr... he is making me so mad! That is the LAST thing I want him to do!
I gotta admit thats pretty sad. I would be like W-T-F in that situation.
Doesn't it piss him off to be paying like 15% interest (or whatever it is) on a 10k debt? Thats like 120 buks a month in finance charges! 
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| Posted 4/1/06 11:33 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by PiyoPika566
Posted by DjPiLL
Posted by PiyoPika566
what difference does this make?? she already said what she's upset about is not the debt her DH raked up prior to engagement, but it's the fact that he wants to spend $1k on his truck NOW.
I am sorry, I have a problem with men thinking they are the king because they bring home the money (this is precisely the reason why I will always work, eventhough my FH will never make me feel less if I decide to be a SAHM).
If she isn't home to take care THEIR son, how is he able to work full time?
Thats not the tone I got. She said she was ****** because she has to pay "HIS BILLS".
She even mentioned that he was paying for his toys with cash since they got engaged.
The 1k truck thing wasn't even mentioned until the post was halfway over (way after the HIS bills part).
SO?? it is his debt, but she understands that now they are married it's "their" debt... just like even if she isn't working.. it's THEIR tax refund, THEIR money... end of story.
Sorry to hijack your post Marrisa!
ETA: I didn't say the "king" comment because of your DH. I was directing at some men! Sorry, I should of clarify at my previous post!!
No need to be sorry- but I just hope I wasnt giving off that tone...
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| Posted 4/1/06 11:34 PM |
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PiyoPika566
talk to the hand
Member since 5/05 1436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by Princessmaris
No need to be sorry- but I just hope I wasnt giving off that tone...
no you weren't at all! I would feel the same way you do too, but remember you are also doing a job, and it isn't even 9-5, you don't get overtime you don't get sick days!
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| Posted 4/1/06 11:36 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by DjPiLL
Posted by Princessmaris
Now he is talking about asking his parents for the money (Yes he is/was that spoiled growing up ) SO he dosent have to spend "our" money
Grrrr... he is making me so mad! That is the LAST thing I want him to do!
I gotta admit thats pretty sad. I would be like W-T-F in that situation.
Doesn't it piss him off to be paying like 15% interest (or whatever it is) on a 10k debt? Thats like 120 buks a month in finance charges!
Thats EXACTLY what it is...
I seriously think he has CC addiction...
I love DH- BUT I most say... his parents did not prepare him well.... EVERYTHING was given to him on demand... and thats why he is so impulsive (The trucks been sitting in the garage for months... we havent even discussed it... today he sees this other truck on the side of the road...and hes just GOTTA have it)
I handle ALL the finances in the house... and thank God, slowly but surely DH has learned...
AGAIN- this is not to take away from all he does for our family... We are never left w/o... BUT when he wants something, hes gotta have it...
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| Posted 4/1/06 11:37 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by DjPiLL
Doesn't it piss him off to be paying like 15% interest (or whatever it is) on a 10k debt? Thats like 120 buks a month in finance charges!
Also- he feels... we have a plan to pay off the bills... (the tax return, and $$ from savings)
So he dosent see what the problem is..
Yea- thats the plan... but its not gonna be the plan, if he feels he's gonna go out and buy himself a new TRUCK
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| Posted 4/1/06 11:39 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Well... i gotta admit I just bought a new truck for myself (a new one too)... and I will be doing some "upgrades" and stuff.
So this story kinda relates to where I am.
But we just bought our house in November. And I have no CC debt and a decent "emergency fund" in savings.
My wife usually doesn't say anything... she pretty much lets me get what I want. But I also work two jobs so my second job pays for a lot of my "toys" and "impulse buys".
Frankly... I would pay off the CCs... because carrying those finance charges is just DUMB.
Let him keep his hobby (since it seems like he hasn't accumulated any NEW debt since he met you).
But I would demand from him that he puts $$$$ aside every month to save for the house. You and him can come up with a figure that works for the both of you.
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| Posted 4/1/06 11:54 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by DjPiLL
Well... i gotta admit I just bought a new truck for myself (a new one too)... and I will be doing some "upgrades" and stuff.
So this story kinda relates to where I am.
But we just bought our house in November. And I have no CC debt and a decent "emergency fund" in savings.
My wife usually doesn't say anything... she pretty much lets me get what I want. But I also work two jobs so my second job pays for a lot of my "toys" and "impulse buys".
Frankly... I would pay off the CCs... because carrying those finance charges is just DUMB.
Let him keep his hobby (since it seems like he hasn't accumulated any NEW debt since he met you).
But I would demand from him that he puts $$$$ aside every month to save for the house. You and him can come up with a figure that works for the both of you.
He has offered to get a 2nd job... but FAMILY TIME (i mean he only has off one day a week already) is important to me....and we wont have that if he gets another job!
Can I just ask.... what kinda "truck" and what kind alterations...
Just curious, because some of the emot-icons look stolen from s-10 forum or s-serious...and I just thought it would be wierd if you and I were on yet ANOTHER... forum bored together and I just didnt know it!
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| Posted 4/1/06 11:58 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by Princessmaris
He has offered to get a 2nd job... but FAMILY TIME (i mean he only has off one day a week already) is important to me....and we wont have that if he gets another job!
Can I just ask.... what kinda "truck" and what kind alterations...
Just curious, because some of the emot-icons look stolen from s-10 forum or s-serious...and I just thought it would be wierd if you and I were on yet ANOTHER... forum bored together and I just didnt know it!
I bought a new Jeep... (I sold my Audi last week). I check out the Jeep forums... i don't go to the S10 ones.
I will probably be doing some "audio" modifications to my truck first since thats a hobby of mine (DJing, music, etc.). But then i'll do some "truck" mods so I can go off roading with it.
Thats probably what your DH is doing. A lot of guys will buy older trucks to "beef them up" to drive them off-road.
But who knows. Why don't you ask him why he does this? What is he looking to accomplish?
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| Posted 4/2/06 12:01 AM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by DjPiLL
Posted by Princessmaris
He has offered to get a 2nd job... but FAMILY TIME (i mean he only has off one day a week already) is important to me....and we wont have that if he gets another job!
Can I just ask.... what kinda "truck" and what kind alterations...
Just curious, because some of the emot-icons look stolen from s-10 forum or s-serious...and I just thought it would be wierd if you and I were on yet ANOTHER... forum bored together and I just didnt know it!
I bought a new Jeep... (I sold my Audi last week). I check out the Jeep forums... i don't go to the S10 ones.
I will probably be doing some "audio" modifications to my truck first since thats a hobby of mine (DJing, music, etc.). But then i'll do some "truck" mods so I can go off roading with it.
Thats probably what your DH is doing. A lot of guys will buy older trucks to "beef them up" to drive them off-road.
But who knows. Why don't you ask him why he does this? What is he looking to accomplish?
Oh no- I know exactly what he does...
Its all about suspension...
Air bag suspension, and body drops... I cant tell you how many cabs we've been through...
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| Posted 4/2/06 12:03 AM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by Princessmaris
Its all about suspension...
Air bag suspension, and body drops... I cant tell you how many cabs we've been through...
He is installing BAGS? Oh boy... thats an expensive hobby. 
If I upgrade my truck... it will be more "armor". At least steel is cheap.
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| Posted 4/2/06 12:04 AM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: DH fustrates me...
He has installed bags several times...
(hence the 10k in debt  )
He has the "parts" (so he says) he just needs a new compressor
It wouldnt be so bad... if he'd leave it together...
He takes it apart during the fall... works on throughout the winter and spring... and then takes it to shows and stuff in the summer....
If it would just stay together and in the garage all winter, it wouldnt be so bad... but why oh why...must he continue to take it apart..
A friend of ours is into lifting his truck...
They go to shows, and DH parks his truck, under his friends
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| Posted 4/2/06 12:07 AM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Ahhhh showcars.... expensive hobby.
I was thinking he was going "offroading" with his truck.
I don't see how you can buy a 1k truck... and soup it up nice enough for it to be a show car. You must have to drop in a ton of cash to do that.
I don't envy you then.
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| Posted 4/2/06 12:09 AM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: DH fustrates me...
Posted by DjPiLL
Ahhhh showcars.... expensive hobby.
I was thinking he was going "offroading" with his truck.
I don't see how you can buy a 1k truck... and soup it up nice enough for it to be a show car. You must have to drop in a ton of cash to do that.
I don't envy you then.
Its not about what it looks like on the outside... its about how low it is... (oh and the set up, since DH does all the work himself )
DH trucks never make it out of primer
ETA- These shows are specifically for "low" trucks.... can you belive there are enough of these guys out there to make it a NATIONAL SHOW?????
Message edited 4/2/2006 12:11:52 AM.
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| Posted 4/2/06 12:10 AM |
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