If you read something on here...

(that someone else posted) that was almost the SAME situation you've been through, would you comment on it knowing that the outcome was not a good one?
For example, if you read that someone had XYZ happen to them (and you had the same) would you comment saying "that happened to me as well but unfortunately things didnt work out for me" ??

I hope i'm getting this out right

ETA- Or would you just let it go and not say anything?

Message edited 3/17/2009 2:02:29 PM.

Re: If you read something on here...

Oh gosh, I struggle with this all the time!

I try to just bring both sides to the table... KWIM? Give them some insight about how things could go either way... positively and negatively - always trying to portray this in a realistic, yet hopeful way. KWIM?

Re: If you read something on here...

I once told someone on here that I thought their pregnancy would turn out to be a chemical while everyone else was throwing "sticky dust." Not that that is a bad thing, but I knew the circumstances and knew it was not going to turn out well.

The poster thanked me later for my honesty.

If it is something like- "pre-seed didn't work for me", then I might say that- but also mention things are different for everyone.

Re: If you read something on here...

i had run into that situation a few times as well..

i tried to lay it out there that "this is the possibility" to not get hopes up . or what not.. but i didnt go into full detail.. i always feel bad.. not sure how the OP would react..
its really tough.. and TTC is such a sensitive time for all of us.

Re: If you read something on here...

Re: If you read something on here...

Re: If you read something on here...

that's a toughy...i think it's a case by case basis...but mostly i try to be supportive before and after

Re: If you read something on here...

I would be supportive without giving to much information regarding my end result.

Re: If you read something on here...

Posted by Baby09

Posted by MetsGirl07

i had run into that situation a few times as well..

i tried to lay it out there that "this is the possibility" to not get hopes up . or what not.. but i didnt go into full detail.. i always feel bad.. not sure how the OP would react..
its really tough.. and TTC is such a sensitive time for all of us.

exactly! I think I might just not say anything. I know that at this particular time (for me), anything upsetting would have really pushed me over the edge.
Maybe when time passes, I can just mention my situation or something

Re: If you read something on here...

Posted by MetsGirl07

Posted by Baby09

Posted by MetsGirl07

i had run into that situation a few times as well..

i tried to lay it out there that "this is the possibility" to not get hopes up . or what not.. but i didnt go into full detail.. i always feel bad.. not sure how the OP would react..
its really tough.. and TTC is such a sensitive time for all of us.

exactly! I think I might just not say anything. I know that at this particular time (for me), anything upsetting would have really pushed me over the edge.
Maybe when time passes, I can just mention my situation or something

yea i know everyone is different based on their feelings.. like people can handle situations better than others..

like i have been through so many ups and downs with TTC... that i would probably be pushed over the edge too with the brutal honest truth... i am more sensitive.. than others might be..

so if you are more like me.. then maybe when this person updates... hopefully you can give her some support and insight from your situation..

Re: If you read something on here...

Posted by Baby09

Posted by MetsGirl07

Posted by Baby09

Posted by MetsGirl07

i had run into that situation a few times as well..

i tried to lay it out there that "this is the possibility" to not get hopes up . or what not.. but i didnt go into full detail.. i always feel bad.. not sure how the OP would react..
its really tough.. and TTC is such a sensitive time for all of us.

exactly! I think I might just not say anything. I know that at this particular time (for me), anything upsetting would have really pushed me over the edge.
Maybe when time passes, I can just mention my situation or something

yea i know everyone is different based on their feelings.. like people can handle situations better than others..

like i have been through so many ups and downs with TTC... that i would probably be pushed over the edge too with the brutal honest truth... i am more sensitive.. than others might be..

so if you are more like me.. then maybe when this person updates... hopefully you can give her some support and insight from your situation..

Thank you Deanna
This is how I feel so I will just offer support

Re: If you read something on here...

Posted by Agape08

Posted by Baby09

Posted by MetsGirl07

Posted by Baby09

Posted by MetsGirl07

i had run into that situation a few times as well..

i tried to lay it out there that "this is the possibility" to not get hopes up . or what not.. but i didnt go into full detail.. i always feel bad.. not sure how the OP would react..
its really tough.. and TTC is such a sensitive time for all of us.

exactly! I think I might just not say anything. I know that at this particular time (for me), anything upsetting would have really pushed me over the edge.
Maybe when time passes, I can just mention my situation or something

yea i know everyone is different based on their feelings.. like people can handle situations better than others..

like i have been through so many ups and downs with TTC... that i would probably be pushed over the edge too with the brutal honest truth... i am more sensitive.. than others might be..

so if you are more like me.. then maybe when this person updates... hopefully you can give her some support and insight from your situation..

Thank you Deanna
This is how I feel so I will just offer support

If it's anything i ever say, i give you permission to be brutally honest with me!!! I hate not knowing the obstacles i'm about to face....i'm not one for surprises

Re: If you read something on here...

Posted by MetsGirl07

Posted by Agape08

Posted by Baby09

Posted by MetsGirl07

Posted by Baby09

Posted by MetsGirl07

i had run into that situation a few times as well..

i tried to lay it out there that "this is the possibility" to not get hopes up . or what not.. but i didnt go into full detail.. i always feel bad.. not sure how the OP would react..
its really tough.. and TTC is such a sensitive time for all of us.

exactly! I think I might just not say anything. I know that at this particular time (for me), anything upsetting would have really pushed me over the edge.
Maybe when time passes, I can just mention my situation or something

yea i know everyone is different based on their feelings.. like people can handle situations better than others..

like i have been through so many ups and downs with TTC... that i would probably be pushed over the edge too with the brutal honest truth... i am more sensitive.. than others might be..

so if you are more like me.. then maybe when this person updates... hopefully you can give her some support and insight from your situation..

Thank you Deanna
This is how I feel so I will just offer support

If it's anything i ever say, i give you permission to be brutally honest with me!!! I hate not knowing the obstacles i'm about to face....i'm not one for surprises

we should now make a thread saying.. would you want someone to be brutally honest with you ... good or bad?!
then have it pinned so you can check their responses for future reference..

i think we did that a while back actually

Re: If you read something on here...

I think that it depends on what/how the person is asking. If it seems like they are just looking to vent and get sticky dust, etc. I would probably keep my mouth shut. But if they are legitimaly asking a question for answers and advice - then I would absolutely give them a truthful answer. I am going through a situation right now where I don't know what's going on and I would LOVE some feeback on what to expect or someone else's story.

Re: If you read something on here...

If it's anything i ever say, i give you permission to be brutally honest with me!!! I hate not knowing the obstacles i'm about to face....i'm not one for surprises



we should now make a thread saying.. would you want someone to be brutally honest with you ... good or bad?!
then have it pinned so you can check their responses for future reference..

i think we did that a while back actually


That is a great idea De! Personally, I would rather someone just be honest with me than sugar coat things. But that is me.

Re: If you read something on here...

This depends on the situation, completely. If someone asks a simple question such as:
"how long does the egg stay alive?" and I know the answer, I will answer.

However, if it is a more complex answer, such as "I am having spotting; Do you think I'm miscarrying?"
I would NEVER answer this question because....how on earth do I know that answer to that question??????????

If I know an answer for sure, I answer it. If I don't know the answer I don't. If I don't know the answer for sure, but think I might know, I give my opinion, but preface it that "I am not a doctor" or" it is JMO (just my opinion)"

I also never pray for people. Don't flame me for saying this.....and I know a lot of people find it comforting, but IMO, I find it annoying. If I ask a question on here, I want an honest opinion, not prayers.

Re: If you read something on here...

Honestly, I posted on here about bleeding immediately after getting my BFP... I had no idea what a chemical pregnancy was but a few posters threw it out there and I really appreciated it because I was braced for the bad news (bc unfortunately they were right...).

Re: If you read something on here...

I try to be honest, but not brutal.

In some cases you know that being too honest can just push someone over the edge, they are already in a fragile state and I just wish them good things without editorializing things.

In other cases, I try to present the flip side-not in a way such that "since this happened to me it is going to happen to you", but more in a way that lets them know that it is a possibility and then give them lots of good vibes.

Message edited 3/17/2009 9:25:58 PM.

Re: If you read something on here...

Re: If you read something on here...

i usually dont say anything. my friends say that i am brutally honest, but i just dont like being that way on these boards i guess. i dont know how the other person will react so i just tend to not respond at all.

Re: If you read something on here...

Posted by jennarose023

that's a toughy...i think it's a case by case basis...but mostly i try to be supportive before and after