What would you do?

It has come to my attention that my Father added his new girlfriend to his will for $500,000-

He met her less then a year ago on Match.com- less then 6 months after my Mom died

I don't trust this women- she is doing everything she can to separate us from him

she also no longer works and is supported by him- I want him to be happy- but not to be used- the only other woman he ever dated was my Mom

He doesn't understand the world has changed since 1970

anyone have any advice?

Re: What would you do?

If I were in your place as much as it would hurt me to see my dad being used(if that is the case) he is an dult and he can add or remove whoever he wishes from his will. Have you spoken to him to adress the issue and to voice your opinion?

Re: What would you do?

I agree with Lady. He is an adult, and can make his decisions, BUT you have the right to voice your opinion. Talk to him about your feelings, and that you're concerned, but don't demand that he stop doing things the way he's been doing.

I'm so sorry about this, and hope that it's all a misunderstanding.

Re: What would you do?

ok, I was in a similiar situation but my parents are divorced. when my dad retired he came into a lot of money, he has been dating the same woman for like 15 years when he retired and this happened, now she has 4 kids too, we are all adults, but knowing how my dad is a softy and I saw how when he moved into her house he was redoing everything and giving her grandchildren trust funds and all so I confronted him about it. I was very gentle b/c I do like her, she is a good woman and next year will officially after 20 yrs be my stepmom, they are finally getting married but I did ask him questions. It is really hard b/c he is the adult- the father but I wanted to make sure my dad wasnt taken for a dummy and did right with his money. It was actually a really good conversation and I found out my dad invested most of it and plays around with some too. and I asked him if he made a will, he said yes, now I didnt ask what was on it b/c then I felt like I was crossing the line but after he saw my concern I knew in my heart that if he didnt really have one he did now plus my father and I ALWAYS had a joint savings account when my parents got divorced so I knew how much he had and how much he was spending too thats why I got a bit concerned and I saw where the money got deposited into investments. My dad still has the account with my name on it but I never see it or check it. Good luck and I would talk to him as a concerned daughter but be very very gentle, as my mom put it to me, this is the woman he is sleeping with so watch what you say and how you say it. I can only pass that along to you too. Keep us posted and best of luck.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Lichi

I agree with Lady. He is an adult, and can make his decisions, BUT you have the right to voice your opinion. Talk to him about your feelings, and that you're concerned, but don't demand that he stop doing things the way he's been doing.

I'm so sorry about this, and hope that it's all a misunderstanding.

Re: What would you do?

I empathize with you. My dad died 5 months ago and my mom is still young (54). I wonder sometimes what will happen in my families future in terms of property my parents own and financial assets. I dont think that the main concept is him being an adult. I think you as a family need to join together and talk this out. I could TOTALLY understand not wanting this woman to gain all your families assets. This is usually a highly discussed topic in the court systems. I can imagaine how painful this must be for you and your siblings. Is he open to discussions?

Re: What would you do?

Posted by dandr10199

Posted by Lichi

I agree with Lady. He is an adult, and can make his decisions, BUT you have the right to voice your opinion. Talk to him about your feelings, and that you're concerned, but don't demand that he stop doing things the way he's been doing.

I'm so sorry about this, and hope that it's all a misunderstanding.

I agree. I hope everything works out.

Re: What would you do?

My Dad started dating someone as soon as my mom died, it was really hard for me because I felt like he gave my mom zero respect- they knew each other while my mom was sick. I basically didnt speak with my dad for months after my mom passed because I couldnt handle his new relationship at all. I just couldnt get over the fact that he was married for almost 30 yrs and moved on already! I told him what an ******* I though his girlfreind was how I didnt think it was appropriate. AFter months of not speaking I finally gave in because I was too distraught and didnt want to lose both my parents. I kept my distance from his woman even when she would sleep in my moms bed- that made me sick on the inside. But my dad explained to me how he was lonely and could come home to an empty house and I understood that but I just didnt like this woman I felt she was too obstrusive too soon- you know! Eventually I was one of the reasons my dad and this woman broke up- when I got pregnant I basically didnt feel that she should be apart of it and didnt invite her to anything so she got very insulted and thought that she could never be apart of the family so she broke it off.


I completely know what you are going thru I probably would say something to your Dad, I think you have the right being his daughter and all. Unfortunately our Dad havent been in the "dating" scene for quite sometime and they dont realize what women are capable today plus going thru such a tremendous loss makes them vunerable. I felt like my dad just wanted someone to love him again so he would have taken anyone and done anything to make that happen.

Message edited 3/16/2006 5:48:46 PM.