Re: I have a Birth Plan ????

Hate to tell ya but the baby is in charge in this one. You get to control very FEW things!

Decide if you want pain meds or not. Who will be in the delivery room if you go vaginally.

Otherwise the kid is in control.

It is great to have an idea what you want but I have MANY friends that were let down because they needed a c-section or didn't make it through with no drugs, or had to be induced vs. going into labor on their own.

Discuss ALL possibilities with your doctor. And do all the research you need. Have faith in your doctor. And know that no matter how you give birth that you actually GAVE birth. I have friends that still don't beleive they gave birth because they had c-sections.

Re: I have a Birth Plan ????

Posted by JTK

i do not understand a birth plan at all. it would be nice to plan on how things are going to turn out but it never ever happens that way.. I've had 3 kids and each time it was different.. i work as a nurse for years now in the NICU.. we attend many many deliveries and they are all different.
I don't mean to be discouraging at all.. i just don't understand them. if you don't want drugs just decline them. tell the nurses what you want.. if we can accomodate you we certainly will!

Message edited 1/12/2009 7:43:54 PM.

Re: I have a Birth Plan ????

Posted by pandaworm

Posted by JTK

i do not understand a birth plan at all. it would be nice to plan on how things are going to turn out but it never ever happens that way.. I've had 3 kids and each time it was different.. i work as a nurse for years now in the NICU.. we attend many many deliveries and they are all different.
I don't mean to be discouraging at all.. i just don't understand them. if you don't want drugs just decline them. tell the nurses what you want.. if we can accomodate you we certainly will!

in my opinion it's just more to organize what you and your husband want than anything else. it's also to make sure that you and your ob/midwife are on the same page as far as treatment, etc. go. i certainly wouldn't turn down a c-section if it were medically necessary, but i don't want to be bound to my bed by iv's or monitors if i don't have to be. plus, in the thick of labor i can imagine being tempted by the idea of an epidural, especially if it's being pushed, when i KNOW i don't want one. if my husband and midwife know my wishes i know they'll encourage me to keep going and not offer something i don't want.

i also like the idea of having my and my husband's wishes regarding our baby to be in writing. it just makes me feel better.

i don't think anyone who writes a birth plan really thinks that "this is how it's going to happen with no deviations." it's just a good way to keep all of your wants in one place for a best case scenario.

Re: I have a Birth Plan ????

Posted by JTK

Posted by pandaworm

Posted by JTK

i do not understand a birth plan at all. it would be nice to plan on how things are going to turn out but it never ever happens that way.. I've had 3 kids and each time it was different.. i work as a nurse for years now in the NICU.. we attend many many deliveries and they are all different.
I don't mean to be discouraging at all.. i just don't understand them. if you don't want drugs just decline them. tell the nurses what you want.. if we can accomodate you we certainly will!

in my opinion it's just more to organize what you and your husband want than anything else. it's also to make sure that you and your ob/midwife are on the same page as far as treatment, etc. go. i certainly wouldn't turn down a c-section if it were medically necessary, but i don't want to be bound to my bed by iv's or monitors if i don't have to be. plus, in the thick of labor i can imagine being tempted by the idea of an epidural, especially if it's being pushed, when i KNOW i don't want one. if my husband and midwife know my wishes i know they'll encourage me to keep going and not offer something i don't want.

i also like the idea of having my and my husband's wishes regarding our baby to be in writing. it just makes me feel better.

i don't think anyone who writes a birth plan really thinks that "this is how it's going to happen with no deviations." it's just a good way to keep all of your wants in one place for a best case scenario.

believe me, having been in the nursery now for years.. there are MANY people who believe that their "plan" will not deviate. and they get pretty angry when it doesn't go by the way the wrote it..
but if it makes people feel better than that 's fine.

Re: I have a Birth Plan ????

I am totally crashing this board right now, but my birth plan was this: give me as much pain medication as possible. Other than that, I couldn't have planned a thing. You don't know what's going to happen during labor so my advice would be to make sure you have a doctor or midwife that you really, really trust. Then, listen to him or her during labor. After all, they're the professionals.

Re: I have a Birth Plan ????

My doctor laughs at birth plans.

I had every medical intervention that most people refuse in their birth plans because they never envision a worst case scenario. Had I gone with what I wanted to happen, both Abby and I may not be here today.

Re: I have a Birth Plan ????

Re: I have a Birth Plan ????

i appreciate the honest answers girls.... Truly - thank you....

i don't feel 'weird' about not having a major plan anymore... i was curious, because, as many of you stated, my best friend had a firm birth plan and she had to have pain meds and she was DEVESTATED...

i don't want that to happen...so i'll just discuss the things i care about most with Dave (no one else in that room with me, other than HIM), pain meds as needed, etc...



eta: spelling error

Message edited 1/12/2009 10:15:48 PM.

Re: I have a Birth Plan ????

The nurses basically laughed at me when I told them my birth plan with my DD. And they were right- pretty much everything I wanted went right out the window. One of the things I was adament about- holding the baby the second she came out of me- before they cleaned her up of course didn't happen since she pooped during delivery and they had to make sure she didn't swallow it '

So this time- NO expectations at all...

Re: I have a Birth Plan ????

Just like the goal when getting married isn't the wedding, but the happy, healthy relationship - the goal of the birth isn't about how the birth went but the baby.

I never had a birth plan but I had in mind what I want or didn't want. I knew I was going to try to go naturally & have a V-birth. I was anti-needle. I was petrified of being pushed into a C-section & wasn't crazy about continuous monitoring. Each doctor at my practice knew I was going to give it a shot.

BUT, when you get there & you are in the throes of labor, things are different. I went a little too early. They wanted to give me an antiobiotic INTRAVENIOUSLY. I said "Is that necessary?" All it took was my doctor tell me they didn't know why I was going early & if it was an infection I could pass it along to the baby. You hear "health of the baby" and you hold out your arm.

So the thing about birth plans - it's fine to have one, to discuss it with your doctor & try to go for it. You need to keep an open mind. The last thing I'd want is for someone who had a healthy baby to focus on how their birth plan was not followed.

Re: I have a Birth Plan ????

I didn't have a formal plan at all Jess. I am usually a control freak and major planner but knew I couldn't be in this situation. Especially towards the end when I knew DS was measuring very big - I played it by ear to go naturally but then had to trust my doc's recommendations for the safety of DS.

I didn't put anything in writing but made it very clear when I arrived at the hospital that I wanted skin to skin contact with the baby as soon as absolutely possible (I had a c/s) and that I wanted him to come to recovery with me if he didn't need any monitioring. This is because I wanted to BF right away. I also told anyone I came across that I didn't want DS to receive any formula. My modesty went right out the window when I gave birth and so did my timidness about asking for things we wanted!

Re: I have a Birth Plan ????

It depends on what kinds of things you want them to know at delivery.

We did no shots except the Vitamin K, and we were not having DS circumcised, so yes, those things are in my birth plan to remind whomever is the nurse at DSs birth not to retract & clean, and no HepB vaccine.

If you want to tell the Drs what to do as far as Vbirth vs C, then I am not a huge fan. I think it depends on your comfort level with your Dr. If you and your Dr have a plan, and you want to write one out in the event that your OB is not available to deliver, then I think it is a good idea if there is some history that is relevant, etc.

JMO.

Re: I have a Birth Plan ????

I asked my doctor about this-- and he said don't bother. So much can happen, that there is no way to "plan" it.

Having said that, I still think it's important to review your wishes with your DH-- and make sure you are both on the same page, so you both can make sure your wishes are executed.

My doc said nothing will be done without our permission/consultation. So, you just need to be informed and educated and know what you want to do.

Re: I have a Birth Plan ????

I never had a "plan" so to speak, with my DD, but I knew what I wanted - I really wanted a medication free, natural childbirth.

Yeah, well, after 15 hours with the worse back labor fathomable, and no progress, and pitocin, those plans flew out the window when I BEGGED for the epidural, and ended up with an emergency c-section because my daughter's heartrate plummeted.

I really, REALLY wish I had explored all my options more thoroughly and read up more on c-sections, what to expect and the recovery process, because I was blindsided. Granted, I have NO regrets, and I really did have a VERY easy recovery from my c-section, but I also remember being strapped down to the table, in the operating room, surrounded by strange doctors, just trembling and bawling because I was terrified.

My best advice as a BTDT mom is to know what your preferences are, discuss them with DH and your doctor, but go into this knowing there is no WAY on earth you can prepare for all the multitude of unknowns with labor and delivery. And no matter what your preference, make sure you are well versed and knowledgeable on ALL the options, not just the one you prefer.