your DH

How emotionally involved is your DH in the TTC process?

If you get BFNs, and get upset, is he at all disappointed too?

My DH is very calm about the whole thing, and not worried at all. When I had a m/c, he was disappointed, but sure that it was common, and didn't seem to be al that upset by it. It has been 3 months since then, all 3 months BFNs, and I get very upset by this. He just goes on his merry way saying..."It will happen."

I'm beginning to think it will NEVER happen, and his laxadazial attitude is really adding fuel to the fire and becoming very frustrating to me.

Is your DH involved in this? To what extent?

Message edited 1/4/2009 1:19:50 PM.

Re: your DH

My DH is the level headed one, which doesn't shock me, because that is how it has been since the day we met. He is willing to do what it takes, but he talks me down from the roof. He is way more patient than me!

Re: your DH

Re: your DH

My DH has gotten more involved as time has passed.

The first month, he was VERY disappointed after the BFN - but also very hopeful. In the following months, he would be disappointed, but it didn't really seem to effect him like it did to me.

Now with the IF treatments, he is definitely at the point where he is right there with me... and gets upset with me, gets hopeful with me, asks about symptoms, etc.

Re: your DH

My DH is the level headed one and always says to me that this whole TTC process is so much bigger than us and when God feels it is our turn we will get our BFP. It is good that he is that way because I am such a black and white person I would go nuts. He knows there is some "work" involved and he is on board when I say jump

Re: your DH

Re: your DH

first month dh was upset but he gave me courage for the next month and then when we did get our bfp he was scared out of his mind he didnt believe it till i went to the dr and the dr said we were preggo

so trust me the dh is just as emotionally involved as us they just hide it better because they dont get all the what if symptoms like we get.

just stay strong for the both of u and talk about ur feelings and listen to his too, i was tough on dh with bding and when i listened to him we got our bfp. so talk its the best thing to do

best of luck

Re: your DH

I think it has to do alot with how you approach things. I'm the more level headed one. I am disappointed, but I think my DH actually gets more disappointed then I do.

during the 2ww he'll say things like how is my baby ? I think he works himself up (like many of us do) so he's surprised/disappointed when its a BFN.

It's funny because I find myself saying to him,"it's no big deal, we'll try again next month. we'll get it."
He never tells me he is disappointed, but I see it in his face and watch him get excited during the 2WW.



I'm sure he is right there with you

Re: your DH

My DH doesn't seem to care either way. Mostly because of financial reasons, I think that he's relieved when AF shows up.

Re: your DH

My DH is very laid back about the process. He did get upset last month because he thought it was the month that it worked.

He says we will do whatever we need to do to have a baby! So, he gets it I think!

Re: your DH

It seem to depend on the day. Some times I test get BFN and he hugs me and lays with me. Somtimes he goes well why did you test again........

Re: your DH

The longer we've been trying the more he's been involved. He's been so super supportive to me after AF shows or if I'm having a bad day. He wants it as much as I do, but now almost 10 months in he's really right there with me.

Re: your DH

Re: your DH

In the beginning he was pretty laid back about it and the BFN seemed not to phase him. But by month 3 he was and by month 4 he really started showing more disappointment when the BFNs showed up.

And now that there is an actual doctor's appt on the calendar he seems even more motivated Last night I was sleeping on the couch and he woke me to tell me...not ask, suggest, or mention...we had to BD...he even said baby dance!

Re: your DH

He's always had a "when it's supposed to happen it will happen" attitude.

Re: your DH

Yup, my DH is the same. He is just level headed and doesn't think there is a problem until I can prove it (like a doctor says something is really wrong)....even though it has been 8 months and counting.
I think it is good in a way because one of us needs to stay sane, but it is really hard when I am crying my eyes out every month and he doesn't bat an eyelash. Last month we even got in a fight because he got mad that I snapped at him for something on the day that AF showed up. He just doesn't understand how painful this is for me and how much it really leaks into the rest of my life.
Hang in there...all of our DHs are trying. They just don't know how to handle all of this.

Re: your DH

It's our first month trying so I can't really say. What I can say is that he definitely has a lot more patience than I do!

He thinks I should wait until AF is late to test and I want to know as of yesterday.

Emotionally however I do believe we are on the same page. He wants this to work as badly as I do.

Re: your DH

Posted by Ang-Rich

In the beginning he was pretty laid back about it and the BFN seemed not to phase him. But by month 3 he was and by month 4 he really started showing more disappointment when the BFNs showed up.

And now that there is an actual doctor's appt on the calendar he seems even more motivated Last night I was sleeping on the couch and he woke me to tell me...not ask, suggest, or mention...we had to BD...he even said baby dance!