Feelings hurt... How would you feel?

One of my best friends called me this morning to tell me that she is having a miscarriage; she was 9 1/2 weeks. I didn't even know she was pregnant because she was afraid to tell me. She told everyone else in her life though, including mutual friends and colleagues (we work together).

While I am terribly sorry for what she is going through, I cannot begin to describe how hurt I am. I know she was trying to protect me, but I'm angry.

Maybe it is the hurt talking, but I will be hesitant to tell her where I'm at with my cycles from this point forward. What if something works and I get pregnant first while she is grieving? I've been told it isn't the same thing because she already has a baby and gets pregnant easily. Still...

I am tough enough to handle other people being pregnant around me and others having #2 before I get #1. BTDT.

This just sucks. While I feel for her, I am really angry/hurt right now that I got it all from her in one phone call. KWIM?

God give me the strength to put my hurt feelings aside and to help her through this...

Re: Feelings hurt... How would you feel?

I'm sorry - I would be hurt also.

I made my friend promise me when she started TTC that she'd tell me if she got pregnant. I told her that no matter how bad I felt for myself, I'd always be happy for her and would want to know. And luckily, she did get pregnant and did tell me right away.

I would definitely feel hurt though - but I'd understand that she was just do what she thought was right in trying to spare your feelings.

Re: Feelings hurt... How would you feel?

I've had this happen to me and I was hurt too. It made me feel even more left out, like I'm some kind of outcast that can't even handle someone else getting pg.
I don't think other people understand this though. They think they are being sensitive to our feelings or something.

Re: Feelings hurt... How would you feel?

I would probably have hurt feelings, also. But I can see where she's coming from in wanting to not hurt you. Maybe she wanted to see if the IVF would work before she told you...

Re: Feelings hurt... How would you feel?

I dont think you should be angry with her, and thats JMO, b/c she was being a good friend by trying to protect you. She probably sees that its been hard for you to have a child and didnt want to throw it in your face. But i know what you mean by being hurt. Im sure she had the best intentions and your interest at heart.

Re: Feelings hurt... How would you feel?

I would be hurt, but not angry. What she did was to protect you, not hurt you, be it right or wrong.

My own sister was pregnant, didn't tell me until she was 11 weeks, lost it at 13w. Gets pregnant the first month after her d&c and then tells me last week with everyone else she is 10 weeks pregnant again.

I was hurt, I thought we were closer than that. I guess I was wrong, but I'm not mad.

I hope you feel better!

Re: Feelings hurt... How would you feel?

Posted by JennyPenny

I would probably have hurt feelings, also. But I can see where she's coming from in wanting to not hurt you. Maybe she wanted to see if the IVF would work before she told you...

Re: Feelings hurt... How would you feel?

I too would be sad but not angry. She was trying to protect your feelings.

Re: Feelings hurt... How would you feel?

Posted by jacquig

Posted by JennyPenny

I would probably have hurt feelings, also. But I can see where she's coming from in wanting to not hurt you. Maybe she wanted to see if the IVF would work before she told you...

ITA.

Re: Feelings hurt... How would you feel?

I would be hurt but I also know that sometimes ppl do things thinking they are being protective of you, instead of just asking you or being honest. S*c*s all the same, though...


Shawnna