Holidays hard for anyone else?

I don't want to be a downer but I need to vent a little....

did anyone else get the "so when are you having kids?" question more than a couple of times this week?

DH and I have only told a handful of family members (and it was more of a slip than us willingly telling them) that we are TTC. I was in the 2WW this past week so I guess that added to it.

I just wish that people would stop asking that damned question. I wish I could scream from the rooftops that TTC isn't like snapping your fingers and it takes time. I wish I could tell them that it's been 8 hard months and them asking isn't really helping.

So when AF started to show today while we were in a house full of people....yeah, not so much fun.

Thank goodness I have the greatest DH. I looked at him told him I needed to go to the drugstore and we went for a ride. When I cried in the car he let me cry and just drove around.

So if anyone else went through this during the holidays I'm with you...I hope it gets better for us and we all get our BFP's.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Re: Holidays hard for anyone else?

My mil asked one too many times so one day I told her in a not so nice way that when and if we have kids is a decision between DH and I only.

Also told her that should we get pregnant she'll know after 16 weeks.

That shut her up

Re: Holidays hard for anyone else?

Re: Holidays hard for anyone else?

i am with u girl! it su^%s!

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yupp... I was wishing I could tell them it has been a few months already and make them feel bad for asking Then I realized they'd be asking all the time for updates, so I had to suuck it up and deal

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We went to DH's cousins for xmas eve. WE were asked 5 times!

Re: Holidays hard for anyone else?

I am sorry you had a hard time

I think people have the best of intentions when asking those kind of questions when they really have no idea what a couple may be going through privately.

By this time next year you will hopefully be celebrating and things will be better!

Re: Holidays hard for anyone else?

After being married 5 years, we definately get questioned. I just laugh and dont answer them. Or say maybe next year.

I got cornered one holiday by a group of cousins who kept asking - how long have you been married ?why dont you have kids ? Dont you want kids ?

I thought...hmmm I could tell you that I have had 2 miscarriages in the last 6 months and make you feel like an AZZZ.
but then I would get the looks and the I'm so sorry until we have kids.
better they think I hate kids

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I think it is one of the rudest questions. However, I know people don't mean to be rude they just don't think before they speak. I had to take someone aside and tell them, "look, for all you know someone could be having fertility issues, they could have had a miscarriage, etc". That shut them up.

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We get this a lot on DH's side, almost everyone one of his cousins had a baby this year, and they keep saying "the rest of use had babies, you guys need to catch up", or "I hope there is another baby here next Christmas" I would love to tell them we are on our 5th month of trying, and want a baby more then anything, but I just smile and walk away. I dread seeing them sometimes.

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I was only asked a couple times, and I don't care about that question. I usually say hopefully soon and leave it at that.

The problem I had this year was being around my Stepdad's very fertile family. There are babies all over the place and 4 out of 6 of them were unplanned pregnancies where the other parent isn't around in 2 of those situations. These people seem to be able to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.

I don't get into the fact that I have PCOS and right now am not ovulating on my own. I don't even talk about that with my parents.

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YES, it really was.


My Mom SNAPPED at my uncle.....he got down to my stomach and goes "Hi baby"........my face went blank and my Mom yelled "ENOUGH" at him.....she must have saw my face. I know he meant it innocently & jokingly but OYE!

Then my SIL....said to me that her and DH thought a few weeks ago I was b/c I wasn't drinking at her house. It was cute to see how excited she will be but I was still like ughhh :(

It's partially our own fault b/c we always said to people when they asked when we'd start trying..."not until after we travel to Europe".....well europe came and went, so I feel like people are watching me.

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my MIL asks me all the time, "when are you going to have another baby?"

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i get asked even when its not the holidays!

i dont think people realize that it makes you feel like theres something wrong with you. what if i was having serious problems??? dont they realize how rude that is or how it might make people feel bad??? sheesh! i put enough pressure on myself i dont need them adding to it!

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Yes! I texted a friend of mine who is in the same boat just to vent. I don't think DH fully grasps how crappy it makes me feel. My cousin, who is the same age as me and we've always done everything around the same time, had a baby about a year ago. So now everyone in the family is always asking and watching my every move. I told DH that I was going to walk in on Christmas, grab a HUGE glass of wine, and pull a tampon out of my purse so that everyone would shut up!

Seriously, though, I really do just want to tell them that you can't plan these things. I love how people think you just say "hmmm, I think I am going to have a baby" and Poof...preggo!
Ugh.

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No one really said anything to us but we had 3 infants at my parents and that was a little hard. Only one of my cousins knows that we are going through IF treatments because she went through the same. She let me hold her baby all day.