How do you prepare yourself for the outcome?

I was thinking ahead this morning about the day of my beta. I still have awhile to go, as my retrieval probably won't even be until Monday.

But how do you prepare yourself for the outcome?

My stomach was twisted in knots the day I called the voicemail system to see if my hormones were good to start the meds. I cannot even imagine how I will be waiting for that phone call.

I almost feel like I should take off of work that day so if it's bad news I don't have to be a blubbering mess at work.

Just thinking about this gives me anxiety. I don't know how I will deal with it if it's negative. I keep trying to tell myself that it could very well be, and just because I spent all that money doesn't guarantee anything. But there's nothing like hearing the words "I'm sorry but..."

Now- I know this could all be in vain and I shouldn't think about it until the time comes and it could very well be positive, but I just need to hear how all of you deal with it. I'm just in a weird, negative mood.

Re: How do you prepare yourself for the outcome?

I tried to remain very realistic. I knew the chances were higher with IVF, but I also knew there was a VERY good chance it would not work. I think that helped me stay grounded and not get caught up in the excitement of it all.

I did prepare myself mentally for getting a BFN and how I would handle it. I probably would have taken a day off work and asked DH to do something fun with me. During my IUI injectable cycles, whenever I got a BFN, or AF, Dh always planned a nice family day for us, to take my mind off of it, so I could focus more on all the wonderful things I already had in my life.

And what also helped was to discuss with DH our longterm plan. He kept emphasizing to me that my first cycle was just that, ONE cycle, and I couldn't put all my eggs in that one basket. If it didn't work, it would be ok, because it wasn't going to be the end of the road for us.

Hang in there - it's a rough emotional journey, but you'll get through it, no matter what the outcome

Re: How do you prepare yourself for the outcome?

It's hard, but like Beth said, you really have to try to keep a realistic approach to all this. Both of my IVF cycles, I was pretty sure I wasn't pregnant, even though I got a BFP with both. My first IVF, I did have every symptom in the book, but didn't read into it and just kept telling myself it was the progesterone. IVF #2, I had NO symptoms and even had a breakdown the night before my beta because I was convinced it didn't work.

Also, what helped me (and it was advice given to me by a couple of the ladies here), was DH and I took beta day off from work, so either way we were together for the news, and I wasn't receiving it alone.

Re: How do you prepare yourself for the outcome?

I agree with the other ladies. Best thing to do is to have realistic expectations. There is a chance it did not take - but - there is a chance it did!! If you can, definitely take off. I did not the first time around and it was a mess bc of my BFN. It's an emotional roller coaster no matter what. I don't know if you are religious but praying also helps me a lot

Re: How do you prepare yourself for the outcome?

I am also trying to deal with this today as well, I'm a little "wired for sound".

I have conflicting feelings about having faith it will work and then the flip side of not wanting to be too hopeful. I've also been wondering how much more I can do this, I don't want to be a downer or not have faith, but I'm tired, actually exhausted, I feel like crap from the drugs and the emotional roller coaster is killing me and DH.

Sorry about the tirade, I've been holding it in awhile.

Re: How do you prepare yourself for the outcome?

The only way for me was to test very early.. I know many of you do not test which I disagree with, but its a personal thing.. I believe it helps you prepare for the negative.. Its just too devatating to wait and get my hopes up and then get that dreded phone call.. At least if I test I already know what to expect.. And I start to prepare.. If its positive I gett to feel GOOD earlier and its takes away 5 days of waiting and nervousness.. I aways try to wait till 10dp so The trigger is out.. This is MY way of preparing..

Re: How do you prepare yourself for the outcome?

Posted by dilb712

The only way for me was to test very early.. I know many of you do not test which I disagree with, but its a personal thing.. I believe it helps you prepare for the negative.. Its just too devatating to wait and get my hopes up and then get that dreded phone call.. At least if I test I already know what to expect.. And I start to prepare.. If its positive I gett to feel GOOD earlier and its takes away 5 days of waiting and nervousness.. I aways try to wait till 10dp so The trigger is out.. This is MY way of preparing..

Re: How do you prepare yourself for the outcome?

I've been having some of the same feelings lately.

This is probably one of my biggest flaws though... I put 100% into everything. My entire heart and soul goes into EVERY cycle - so I often find myself crushed when things do not work out. Considering everything that goes into an IVF cycle... I will be the first to admit that I am VERY hopeful and excited and thinking the most positive thoughts about everything.

In the back of my mind, I do know that there's about a 40-50% chance that this won't work - so I keep my "plan B" in mind. Plan B: Pray to have some embryos to freeze and do an FET with OR if there aren't any... maybe try another injectable/IUI cycle before jumping into another fresh IVF cycle.

It's the most difficult thing to just stay positive and keep going through all of the failures... but honestly, that's all I know how to do.

DH and I will definitely be together for beta day - neither of us will be working that day (our Christmas break). Last month with our injectables/IUI cycle we braved Black Friday to get our minds off things while waiting for the call, then smothered our sorrows in Godiva chocolates when we heard it was BFN. Maybe we'll do the same if this doesn't work... who knows.

I just try to focus on the positive and continue praying and wishing and hoping and dreaming. Like I said... it's probably my biggest flaw - but that's just how I am.

Re: How do you prepare yourself for the outcome?

I was cautiously optimistic during my 2WW. I tried to stay occupied with stuff, like Christmas shopping, decorating, etc.

My beta was yesterday, and that Mon/ tues I was getting nervous. I was determined not to POAS.

My dr. called me at work, and unfortunately, it was a BFN. So I went to the bathroom and had a good cry, then called DH.

It makes me sad I didn't get a BFP right out of the gate, but I have to remember that we do have 7 frozen, and will do a FET right away.

Re: How do you prepare yourself for the outcome?

I think waiting for the beta call is the hardest part of the cycle. At this point I feel like I've been kicked around so much by IF that I try not to expect much (but I'm always secretly hoping for the best). My 1st IVF BFN was absolutely devastating to me. I broke down at work and had to leave. I was a blubbering mess the whole train ride home. I felt very alone.
Since then it hasn't gotten easier to get the BFN but I feel like I just keep getting stronger. I never POAS before the beta, but that is just me. I hold out for the beta because at least I still have hope until I get that call.