It's not 1981 anymore !!!!

Ideas on pregnancy and motherhood have changed drastically since I was born way back in 1981.... and my mother does not seem to understand anything DH and I talk about.

She is having issues with the prices of baby items on our registry, with us buying a convertible crib, BPA free bottles, sleeping on the backs/not stomach, bumpers ETC

Is anyone else having this problem with their family members? How are you handling it? It's stressing me out big time!

Re: It's not 1981 anymore !!!!

YUP!! When it comes to weight gain and how I dress. I keep getting warned that I am not to wear shirts that show off my belly button when it pops out!! It's just not proper and it's gross???!!!!

Who the F cares if my belly button shows? Styles change. I am not wearing a salior dress with a big white bow like my Mom did.

Also about whether or not the baby is in a co-sleeper or a crib (we only have one bedroom so the crib will be 5 steps from my bed).

Tonights fight was about how I wasn't really 12 weeks pregnant I was 10 weeks because dating it back to LMP was "stupid". My mom finally downloaded some pregnancy dating software to her Palm and now she believes me.

Anytime I argue, I get, "Oh okay, It's not like I had 4 children or anything. Don't trust my opinion". Reeking with sarcasm.

I honestly don't know how to handle it. It is only 12 1/2 weeks for me and I am sure it is going to get much much worse. And my Mom is an OB nurse... so yeah... she "knows everything".

Good Luck. Just stick to your guns on the important things. And show her the research to support your decisions. Can't argue with professional recommendations.

(wow your post made me vent!!)

Re: It's not 1981 anymore !!!!

I'm glad you were able to vent it all out...I'm glad I could help

DH was on the phone explaining alot of stuff to her today and for some reason she listens to him and tries to understand our perspective.

I think I need to practice remaining un-emotional when she questions these new ideas and things

Re: It's not 1981 anymore !!!!

Oh yes I know what you mean.

Family members do not get it. Times have changed.

I have heard a few comnments about what is on my registry and why it is so many pages.

They are more of the less is more type and do not understand that you really do need some of these items.

I am just going to smile and nod.

Re: It's not 1981 anymore !!!!

Yeah.. i do try to let DH explain things to MIL. She doesn't get it either. She keeps saying how bad it is to have our baby in a day care since they will never be healthy ever (grrr).. She tells me she used her minister's wife.. Couldn't I ask my PRIEST'S wife???? yeah.. my catholic priest's wife.



She then told me to move down to TN and she would watch the baby and "surely I know someone who would watch the baby at home... Day cares just aren't right". No, I don't. I am the first of my friends to have a baby and I am NOT moving to Nashville.



I think it boils down to unsolicited advice. If I don't ask.. I don't want it.

Re: It's not 1981 anymore !!!!

My mother wanted to know if I had to take the big pink vitamins like she did 33 years ago!!

And she had no clue about not using blankets or anything like that...she thought I was crazy.

She keeps comparing my doctors appts to hers...she just doesn't understand that times have changed!!

Re: It's not 1981 anymore !!!!

My parents aren't bad at all. - My Mom also knows to shut up when I give her the eyeroll. - BUT, I'm lucky b/c she's the last of her friends to have a grandchild so she's heard it all already. - And heard me stick up for the awful daughters or daughter in laws that are "so ridiculous about the way they do things these days" She also works in a Dr's office w/ a lot of young new Mothers - so she hears about this stuff all day from them too -

My MIL and DH's side of the family are a bit different. - ONE of his cousins has a baby, and is pregnant w/ #2 in February. So, of course "COUSIN" knows everything .......(and 'cousin's' Mom just happens to be MIL's favorite sister who's word is basically God's and to top it off she's a complete know it all -) KWIM?
I personally don't agree w/ anything said 'cousin' does - but that's not my place to say. Its her pregnancy and her kid ........
FIL's side of the family is the weight/appearance obsessed side. I'll let you know how that goes when I see them for Thanksgiving !!

Re: It's not 1981 anymore !!!!

My mom has been surprised by some of the things that have changed, but she never argues or tells me I'm wrong. She accepts that things change over time. When I was at the hospital she saw a sign for a Grandparents class and was contemplating taking it. She's very receptive to things that have changed since me and my brother were babies.

Re: It's not 1981 anymore !!!!

My mother has a lot to learn about how things have changed since I was born but she is keeping an open mind. She doesn't fully get the not sleeping on the stomach thing either.

Re: It's not 1981 anymore !!!!

sometimes both our Mom's do this. I try really hard to let it not get to me, but its hard. They'll learn.