Really need help.......

I dont know what to do.
Im a few weeks PG and it took quite some time to get PG. DH really was never into having kids, and would have been happy without them. He only wanted them because he knew I wanted them.
Well, now that I am, Im NOT happy for some reason. I dont know why??
I look at it like maybe I would have been fine without having kids. I like my independence, and like to go out whenever we want to go out.
I just dont know what to do. I dont know if I will regret not having kids or it is just my hormones making me feel so overhwelmed.
I thought maybe not having this baby, but DH said it is too late, and I could never go and tell my RE that I now dont want this baby.
Im sorry, I just had to let this out to someone

Re: Really need help.......

Your feelings are not so abnormal. A lot of newly pregnant woman feel fear and uncertainty. Since you have been wanting a baby for so long try to remember the reasons why you did.

Re: Really need help.......

many many


Do you think maybe this could be your nerves getting to you? MAYBE, just maybe, you're unhappy because you're nervous that something could go wrong, and don't want to get your hopes up?

Sometimes, in a sad way, when we achieve something we've been trying for SO HARD, for SO LONG, there's nothing to try for anymore, and we're upset.

I think you're overwhelmed. Hormones are good for that.

I'm sorry, I have no advice, but your heart will guide you here.

Re: Really need help.......

I think you are just scared! And that's perfectly understandable!!

You will be thrilled about your pregnancy (and the end result, trust me) after your hormones stablize a bit. This is very normal to freak out at the beginning of a PG. Even a planned one because you think, omg, what did I get myself into?!

You are going to be just fine!

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I think this is totally normal. It is very overwhelming, especially after trying for so long.

Even with all I am going through to get pg, I still have fleeting thoughts of, maybe it won't be so bad if we don't have children, more money, more freedom, etc.

Hugs to you

Re: Really need help.......

I am sooooo sorry you are feeling this way

I have a feeling that you are very overwhelmed and your hormones are getting the best of you.

Maybe sit down with your DH and speak about everything that is bothering you and is bothering him.

I wish you the best - and if there is anything that I can do

Re: Really need help.......

Vent away! That's what we are here for.

I think its very common for women who tried to get pregnant to worry as soon as they get pregnant that maybe they aren't ready or don't want the baby. There was post about this on the pregnancy board. Its something you worry about and then once it comes its like, OMG- am I really ready for this! Its totally normal to freak out a little at first when you find out you're pregnant.

We tried to get pregnant, and got pregnant on the first try - which was a shock to me. I thought we would have a few months cushion. Now at 8 months I am starting to slow down and realize that my life will never be the same once this baby comes, and i think that's OK. I am also getting so excited and so happy.

I know everything will work out for the best.
The pregnancy board is a great resource and you are welcome to FM me any time.

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Re: Really need help.......

So normal with your hormones out of whack!
Right now you are fearing the "unknown". Every first time mom goes through this.
You really need 110% support from DH at this time- make sur you are both on the same page.
Congrats on your little miracle.

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I'm sorry you feel this way...those 1st few weeks of pregnancy does so much to you...if having a baby meant so much to you before...than I think it still does...and that the Hormones right now are getting in the way of your true feelings. It does get better.

Message edited 2/22/2006 11:30:00 AM.

Re: Really need help.......

Thank You everyone, I just cant stop crying over this. I hope we are making the right decision. I just know that my DH does NOT go goo goo ga ga over babies, and sometimes I do.

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My father never wanted kids, but loved us once we were there. Of course now my parents are divorced and I don't talk to him or see him really, but my mom said he was happy when we were born. I don't go goo goo over other babies, but I think when one is half me I can't help but love it.

Message edited 2/22/2006 11:33:15 AM.

Re: Really need help.......

As everyone else said it is completely normal to feel unsure and "oh my g-d, what did I get myself into?" In fact, I remember my girlfriend who adopted her baby feeling the same way. It's a scary, PERMANENT thing - combine that with hormone levels, and it's really tough to handle.

Maybe if you can answer this question, you'll feel better. Is there anyone you know that has kids that regrets having them? I'm not talking about "I wish I waited until I was older/hadn't waited so long". I can say that of every person I've ever met, there wasn't one person -man or woman - who has ever regretted their decision to have their child.

Re: Really need help.......

A lot of women feel the way you feel. You have to remember that you are not your "normal" self right now either...your emotions are all over because your hormones are all over. It's normal to feel anxious or unsure...try to hang in there. Try talking to DH, it may help you feel better...and just know that soon your hormones will level out some. If you feel like you are too down in the dumps or depressed, talk to your dr. and ask them to recommend someone to talk to. Hang in there and I hope you feel better soon...and congratulations on your little baby.

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DEFINATELY the hormones- I was intensely angry the first few weeks and HATED being pregnant and my DH and I definately wanted kids. Now I may be miscarrying and I can't believe that I felt that way since I am so upset I can't stand it. SO your feelings of ambivlance are very normal. Especially since you think the only reason your husband went along with it was for you. Hang in there- I think you will start to have different feelings soon.

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As time comes closer (not that i've been there yet) but you fall more in love with the idea bringing life to this world. change is hard but its apart of life and to move in life, somtimes, things change...some for the good, and some bad. this should be a good moment in your life.

Message edited 2/22/2006 12:23:47 PM.

Re: Really need help.......

I can understand how you feel and think it is somewhat normal. This is a big surprise and change for all of you! I felt the same way at first and still think i am somewhat in denial. We were not planning this at all - we do want kids but I wanted to get settled career wise first a little more...but things happen I guess. It still hasn't really hit me fully but it is this amazing gift. Talk to your dh heart to hear and tell him how you feel, what you are afraid of, etc again and ask him to be honest. If you want, you can even talk to a professioanl - even you ob or gyn could help or refer you to someone who could. Only you and your dh can make the decisions that work for you as you both know you guys best. Good luck and we are all here for you!!!!

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