Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

So we have 5 frozen embryos still from our IVF.

We had planned to use them the latter part of this year if we didn't get pregnant naturally.

Obviously now with DH having cancer and needing chemo, we are going to put that off until things (hopefully) stabilize.

When we stored them we both signed papers saying that if one of us died, the embryos should be destroyed.

Obviously you never think you are going to be in this position, but I do need to consider the very real possibilty that he may not be around.

If that happens, I don't think I could bare destroying them. But I also don't know if I would want to have a baby on my own.

Do you think I should have DH and I resign the documents so that I have the option if god forbid something does happen to him?

I know this is an impossible situation and it's a personal decision, but I'm looking for your opinions.

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

That is tough, but yes, I would like the option. I wonder how dh feels though.

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

Yes If it were me I would. I put that only I would receive them. I didnt want DH and some future wife havign my eggs KWIM...But in your situation...I would change it to have the option.

Im so sorry you have to consider this

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

im praying for you both.
i think it would be best to discuss it with your husband and see what he thinks. you never know how you will feel in the future.

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

If it was me in that situation, I would definitely want the embryos. God forbid something happened to my DH, I would still want to have his children.

I know this sounds crazy, but I can't imagine loving anybody else or wanting to have anyone else's child if my DH passed away.

I am so sorry that this is something you have to deal with or even think about right now

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

we had these had conversations as we started our ivf cycle. we didn't elective to destroy any embryos. I felt that even if we got diovced I would donate them.

I hope you find peace with our decision and that you never had to actually go down that road

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

I am so sorry to hear you are facing this situation. I think I would want the papers signed to not have the embryos destroyed if god forbid something happened to your DH. It sounds like you aren't sure what you would do exactly, but in that case, I'd rather have options.

for you and your DH.

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

I would definitely resign the papers. Only because you should have the option to do what you desire with the embryos down the road. It's not something you want to think about, but at the same time...you may decide you want another of DH's children for any number of reasons, you may want to donate them or you may decide five years down the road that you do want to destroy them after all.
But, for now - you should have them available to you if you do decide to go ahead with having another of his children.

Of course, that's all based on the fact that he is in agreement with you on this.

And, as you know, I'm so sorry you have to even think about this.

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

Posted by Gertyrae

I would definitely resign the papers. Only because you should have the option to do what you desire with the embryos down the road. It's not something you want to think about, but at the same time...you may decide you want another of DH's children for any number of reasons, you may want to donate them or you may decide five years down the road that you do want to destroy them after all.
But, for now - you should have them available to you if you do decide to go ahead with having another of his children.

Of course, that's all based on the fact that he is in agreement with you on this.

And, as you know, I'm so sorry you have to even think about this.

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

I'm sorry that you even have to think about this

I would discuss with DH, but my first vote would be for you to have the option to do what you want when you decide.

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

I would talk with DH about resigning the papers.

I'm so sorry you're going thru all of this. You're in my prayers every day.

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

Posted by mrsmck

I would talk with DH about resigning the papers.

I'm so sorry you're going thru all of this. You're in my prayers every day.

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

If it was me, I would definately resign the papers. I would like to have the option if something did happen to my DH to still have his children, especially with the road we have been down with TTC.

I am so sorry you have to make this decision

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

I agree with the group here, its better to sign the papers now and have to make a decision later, than to lose the option

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

I would discuss resigning the papers.

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

I agree with all of the other ladies. I would definately talk about resigning them. I'm praying for your family.

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

I agree with the other ladies. You can always revisit your decision down the road, but I would discuss resigning the papers.

for you and your family.

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

My Dh and I chose that I should be responsible for th eembryos. In your case I would say, that yes, you should change the paperwork as long as your DH is OK with it

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

I would resign the papers. I am so sorry you have to go through this

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

I am so sorry that you even need to think about this.

I would definately resign the papers, so that all of your options are there.

My prayers are with you at this time.

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

I agree with everyone else...

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

If DH is in agreement, resign them. You may want your son to have a sibling.

I am sorry you are going through this. Good luck to you and your DH.

Re: Sort of morbid, but something I have to think about...

First off my Prayers are with you and your family...



I would also have him resign the papers, god forbid anything happen and you want another child of his...

Good luck and we are all praying for you here.