I need to get this out . . .

I can't believe I am really here. I want to have a baby so badly and I have to admit the most embarrassing, almost shameful thing.

My fear of giving birth one day has made me question in the past whether I would want to have a child.

I keep thinking about how excited I am to be trying and how excited I will be when I eventually do get my BFP, but every time I think of actually getting pregnant and having to give birth, I start to freak out (on the inside.)

Clearly my desire to become a mom has won out, because I am here, but the thought of giving birth terrifies me and I am trying so hard to not let it get in the way.

I feel awful posting this, and I am not sure why, because I think many people must feel this way at some point.

Message edited 7/3/2008 7:51:39 AM.

Re: I need to get this out . . .

If it makes you feel any better I think every woman out there is fearful of giving birth because it's a whole new experience and you don't know what to expect. I am due in 12 weeks and I'm freaking out a little because it's scary but every time I start to panic a little I remember the end result and it makes it all ok. I am so excited to have this little baby in my arms that nothing else matters. Every person I know who has had a baby, even those with the longest and most painful labors and delivery, will tell you in a heartbeat that they would do it all over in a second. It's natural to feel the way you do but you will be fine!!

Re: I need to get this out . . .

OMG Don't feel guilty at ALL! It's terrifying- and I'm right there with you! Years ago I was certain I didn't want to have kids just for that very reason! I have an extremely low tolerance for pain so I was just simply terrified. As the years have gone on - like you - my desire to have a baby won out. Like Kristen (hofstra26) just said, the end result is what it's about. And I think if you focus on that, you will be okay.

Once I'm preggo though, you can check back in with me. I might be freaking out about the act of giving birth!

Nowadays I'm more terrified of RAISING a child!

Good luck! What you feel is totally understandable!

Re: I need to get this out . . .

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! Why do you think I am 39 and trying to have babies?

I'm thinking they need to go back to the 70's where you went in pregnant, went to sleep, woke up with a baby......AAAhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Re: I need to get this out . . .

Posted by Nikkibean

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! Why do you think I am 39 and trying to have babies?

I'm thinking they need to go back to the 70's where you went in pregnant, went to sleep, woke up with a baby......AAAhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Re: I need to get this out . . .

Re: I need to get this out . . .

I feel better knowing that considereding not having children due to fear of giving birth is not so uncommon

I really would love to be put out . . .

Re: I need to get this out . . .

that was such a HUGE fear of mine.. and was terrified of even getting pregnant , even though i wanted a baby so badly..

well when i had my MC and was in labor , i pretty much gave birth.. let me tell you how much pain i was in for 9 hours... but you know what?? i got nothing out of it it was such a tramatic day that i will never forget..
with that being said.. when you are ready to give birth to a healthy baby, you are there for a HAPPY reason, and you will go home a couple days later with a miracle!

now that im trying again, i am actually not even afraid of delivering at 9 months to a baby! just think how worse it can be,, and thats how i think of it now!!

hope this helps you!!
and good luck!!

Re: I need to get this out . . .

Is it the fear of labor pains that gets you or just overall delivery? I had this fear too, until I gave birth to DD (we will be TTC again in a month or so). I was scared to death of the labor pains. I know it sounds cliche-but you really do forget the pain or at least it mellows over time. Of course, I had an epidural so I don't know about those who went through it unmedicated. My labor until I had the epi was tough, but not so bad that I am scared of doing it again. I'll just ask for the epi earlier next time.

Now, I just told my dentist I would rather give birth again than be in that dentist chair

Re: I need to get this out . . .

Don't feel guilty at all.
I had DS and most of the pregnancy was terrified of the pain, where my water was going to break, Would DH make it home from work on time, etc..
Well, my water broke on a Sunday, 2 weeks early. Never planned on that. Called the Dr. and before I knew it, I was admitted. I was nervous, anxious and excited all in one.
I was induced, never had contractions, so, the next day it was c section time.

In a month or 2 we will be TTCing #2. I am honestly nervous of another c section (it wasn't too bad), but, the anxiety is definitley still there.

Once they showed DS to me, honestly, all emotions turned into happy tears.