Hi ladies, i need advice........

OK, I am an Assistant Principal and close with many of the people at work
I had about 5 tables of people at my wedding

I have told SOME people at work that I am very close with that I am pregnant, and I had to tell my principal

now, while speaking to one girl that I am particularly close with, I mentioned that I would probably tell everyone before school ends, or they'd be in for a big surprise in September

I had said that possibly at our last grade conferences of the year I would tell them since I think it would be best for them to hear it from me, rather than word of mouth - she starts saying that word of mouth is better and that it would be weird and inappropriate for me to announce it at a grade conference

I mean, this is not something I could really hide - I'm not announcing that I'm moving in with my gay lover
Am I wrong to think that there is nothing inappropriate about this? I dont really see where she is coming from

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

Hmmmm, I think it would be a nice way to announce it. I don't know why she thinks it's weird. You are the AP after all.

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

Hi Laura,
I am an AP also and I don't think it is a big deal if you announce it at grade level meetings. I think they will appreciate your honesty.
I am not telling anyone until September, it will be a "shock" to many when we come back. I work all summer long, so as teachers come in and visit, which they always do, I will tell them....

Do you think your principal will care if you tell your teachers at grade level meetings?

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

thanks ladies

im close with my principal too
she doesnt care when i announce it
i work the summer also

i just figured i may be "big" by September

but that wasnt even the point; this is a girl that i am very close with and the things she was saying i thought were nasty
like; "well, if you want to tell the masses"

i mean, this is a beautiful blessing and i AM married; its not something i should be hiding so i dont really see where she's coming from

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

I think that you should def. tell them. It is your news to tell, not anyone elses. And if you dont say anything, people are just going to be talking behind your back, because they wont be sure if they should really know!

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

Her comments are crazy.....I think telling your staff is a wonderful occassion. Don't let one teacher change your mind, you deserve to enjoy sharing this wonderful news!

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

Posted by babyonthebrain17

Her comments are crazy.....I think telling your staff is a wonderful occassion. Don't let one teacher change your mind, you deserve to enjoy sharing this wonderful news!

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

Posted by babyonthebrain17

Her comments are crazy.....I think telling your staff is a wonderful occassion. Don't let one teacher change your mind, you deserve to enjoy sharing this wonderful news!

Message edited 5/20/2008 9:28:25 PM.

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

I am sorry to hear that you are so upset. Try to remember how happy you are to be pregnant and don't let this friend ruin it for you.

Your drs. appointment will go great and everything will be fine!!!! Don't let work stress you out!

Here's some hugs to help you get through the night

And just remember you have a in your belly...now that is GREAT NEWS!!!!!! TELL THE WORLD!!!

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

thanks so much ladies
i think i am especially hurt because of how close i consider her to be

Goldi - you are too much!!
and by the way, i only used that example because that is something that IS no one's business and COULD be hidden if i wanted to

a belly cannot be hidden
and my DH doesnt know about my gay lover........yet LOL

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

hey!! i'm an administrator also and in a way i can sort of understand what she's saying as far as keeping your personal business personal, and only handling school related issues at school. no you can't hide a baby, but in time everyone figures it out. I never made an announcement.. but not for hte reasons your friend is suggesting.. in schools there is a competition and push to be in the administrator's "good favor" i didn't want my announcement to be interpreted by even one person as an suggestion that gifts are expected,and it would do u well to do something to acknowledge my pregnancy.. (especially to the non-tenure teachers)

i'll give another somewhat related example. At my last school, when I was a teacher my principal had an outside program going on.. was NOT related to the staff or the students.. well some of the students were involved, but for the most part it was unrelated.. she made an announcement at a meeting that she was having the affair and the implication was.. "a donation would be nice"..

now obviously at your announcement you wouldn't be asking for gifts.. but the simliarity is here.. the way she announced this personal business at a business meeting made teachers, especially those who were new, or who strived to stay in the good graces of administration feel pressured to "donate something"..

i disagree with the way your friend talked to you though.. the comments seem sarcastic at best.. and condescending at worst..

Congrats again!

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

Sorry to crash the board (I usually post on TTC) but I can speak to this EXACT situation. My AP announced last year that she was pregnant at a faculty meeting and not one person thought that it was inappropriate or in bad taste. If anything, everyone rallied around her and was super-excited! As you said in your post, you have lots of friends at school, so why would people think poorly about this announcement? People will be so happy for you! As for gifts, at my school we do work showers for anyone pregnant anyway, so when my AP's turn came, whoever wanted to kick in for a gift did so.
Please don't let this stress you, this should be a happy time! Congratulations on being PG!

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

thanks! i appreciate it

i mean, they through me a bridal shower
those that wanted to participate did; and those that didnt; didnt

simple
I've been there for 5 years and have supervised PreK-grade 2
some of the other teachers came; some didnt

i know that most, if not all will be very happy and congratulatory

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

ok, well,i said i was going to say it at a grade conference that is 5 people max - that is personal to me
not a faculty conference of 100 people

also, this is NOT about gifts at all
people dont give gifts at 3 or 4 months
if people want to at the time of birth, is a different story

and in terms of attention or special treatment, Im the administrator
not the teacher so the "special treatment" is not even an issue

KWIM??

Message edited 5/20/2008 10:10:16 PM.

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

Everyone is different and likes to share their news differently. This is your pregnancy and your life - you announce it anyway you want to!!

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

Re: Hi ladies, i need advice........

I would tell everyone at the grade conference. You can announce this at the end of the meeting... Sounds totally appropriate to me. I would talk to your friend who made the rude comments and find out what her issue is.