How did you get DH on board with this stuff?

I mentioned to DH that we have an appt and he would have to get "tested"..he said fine..and went on to the next subject. maybe I was expecting more and I wanted to tell him a little about what could happen and he just said..your eggs are fine and don't worry.

yeah honey, I have 41 year old eggs..they're fine..

maybe I'm just getting myself nuts for no reason.

Re: How did you get DH on board with this stuff?

Time.. that's what it took.

I was ready to move to the next step almost immediately because I knew we would have trouble. (although I never thought in a million years it would be this much trouble). As the months went on, and I started going to the doctor more frequently, he slowly started coming around. It wasn't until my chemical last August that he woke up and said..."maybe we should get a little more aggressive and see that RE" He also started coming with me to my Gyno appointments and asking the doctor lots of questions.

Men don't have the same urgency that we do, and they definately move at a slower pace when it comes to this.

Re: How did you get DH on board with this stuff?

My DH thought I was being paranoid and overreacting, especially considering we got pregnant with my daughter with no issue. But after 8 months of trying, I made an appt with the RE.

He was SO resistant at first. But, then I got an official diagnosis. So I brought him in to a consult with the RE so he could hear it straight from her mouth.

He STILL didn't trust it, so then we made an appt to go speak to our ob/gyn about it, the one and only man that he trusts implicitly on this planet.

When my ob/gyn confirmed that yes, indeed, secondary infertility s quite common and it was stupid for us to hesitate about moving onto IUI, DH was on board by the very next day.

Re: How did you get DH on board with this stuff?

DH's answer was that we just have to do it more..

well, yeah and at the right time honey so when Mr. Smiley face is here-DO ME!!!

Re: How did you get DH on board with this stuff?

Posted by Blu-ize

DH's answer was that we just have to do it more..

well, yeah and at the right time honey so when Mr. Smiley face is here-DO ME!!!

Re: How did you get DH on board with this stuff?

I second that one about men and slower pace. I was 38 when we started trying. You know, GYN tells you after 6 months you should come back if you are not pg. At 6 months, DH doesn't think its enough time. Somehow talks me into 6 more months. I decided it was time to do something and got the HSG and talked to an RE. I knew from day 1 we could have a problem. He's still in denial sometimes. But, he's finally on board 100%.

Re: How did you get DH on board with this stuff?

My DH was 100% against IVF when we were first having problems. The whole time we thought I was having recurrent pregnancy loss and now we think I had tubal issues instead. Unfortunately, we had to figure that out on our own since no Dr suggested that and i was even told that my tubes were normal. I later found out that even if tubes look "normal" on a hsg that doesn't mean they are working properly.

Anyway-it took time, tears and a lot of heartwrenching conversations and in retrospect everything is falling into place. My DH has his own business that is really starting to show great returns, I am at a great place in my life and we are very happy.

Re: How did you get DH on board with this stuff?

DH got on board reluctantly but I kind of left him no choice. It was like the train was leaving the station no matter what and he was forced to jump on. Don't worry too much about it at this point. As long as he cooperates on some level, that's all that matters. In all honesty a man's sacrifice and "involvement" in this process is minimal compared to what we have to go through.

Re: How did you get DH on board with this stuff?

I was VERY lucky and although my struggles with getting pregnant were not as great as some of the ladies on the board my DH was wonderful from the word "go". He came with me to every single RE appt. and procedure and there is nothing he would not do in order to help our situation and get pregnant. In fact, he was the one who pushed for the IUI even though he has no probs just because he wanted to increase our chances of getting pregnant. He's awesome and now that we're pregnant he's even better. I am very lucky and thankful!!!

Good luck to all of you guys and I hope that each one of you gets your BFP really, really soon!!!!!

Re: How did you get DH on board with this stuff?

DH didn't really say much when I started going to an RE. It was kind of hard for to be in denial that we had a problem since we knew I wasn't ovulating.
Once we started going, he was ok doing the SA, and was always supportive, but he never went with me to any appointments. I told him that this upset me because I felt like I was doing all of this alone. A few months ago he has started coming whenever he can, and when he can't he is very apologetic about it.

I think in the beginning too, he was in that "omg we're trying for a baby" nervous stage and sometimes it seemed he wasn't 100% with me. But now after all this time, and especially now after the m.c .he is totally on board.

Re: How did you get DH on board with this stuff?

I suppose I was pretty lucky. DH came to our first TTC appointment with my regular OB, then after time when things werent going as they "should have", he agreed to come with me to the RE.

We were both kind of shell shocked that I would need surgery, though not surprised that I would need to be inseminated to get PG. I did have to prepare him to bank his sick days for doctors appointments and to be prepared for early-morning "happy time" so I could do the drop-offs for IUIs. He was pretty good about it.

I think it also helped that he really respected our RE and his "No BS" method of treatment. If we wanted kids, we had to do XYZ and we did it.

Sometimes, if you meet with resistance, it could be a man's way of dealing with an element of denial. Making a baby is not supposed to be an effort, It isnt supposed to involve so much science and clinical intervention. Sometimes, it takes a little longer for the guys to accept that the couple needs help.