Do your DHs not

think before they speak sometimes? Or am I the only one that lucky? Last night, DH said the wrong thing at the wrong time and I just lost it and started hysterically sobbing--- I can't even say crying, it was SOBBING! I got so upset that I couldn't breathe right...
I think he realized it after the fact... once we turned our lights out he noticed a while had gone by and I couldn't sleep- so he turned to me and said "We'll get through this"... which got me upset all over again- and I said to him we shouldn't have to "get through this" - it should happen naturally like it did for so many other people that we know.....it shouldn't involve pills and injections and bloodwork and sonograms And that was just the ending of my crummy day yesterday.

Re: Do your DHs not

Men can be tough, i know my husband would say well, if we cant have kids, we cant have kids..I used to go crazy. Apparently that was a cover up bc i just finally got pregnant and he said to me that he was stuggling alot with the infertility and didnt know what to say or how to handle the emotions. It really is a plain sucky battle. Between the money spent and everything else, i found it hard on my marriage.

Now, all i worry about is it was so hard to get pregnant, what if something happens..but, i guess the best part about going through it all is the strength you develop and having hope. Hang in there, i know i was a wreck through alot of stuff...

Re: Do your DHs not

Yes. This happens to me too. Or they just do something stupid. Like the other day I was trying to talk to DH about my feelings but he kept alternating looking at me and looking at the baseball game on TV. He realized now how insensitive he was.

I think guys just don't think like we do, they just don't process these things like we do. Also since they are not the ones going through all the physical things, they really can't understand everything we are going through. Most guys are also not very good handling emotions and especially their emotional wives. I know my DH is at a loss of what to say or do when I break down.
But they are supportive in their own way, and thats all that really matters, even if they act likes idiots sometimes.

Message edited 4/12/2008 9:45:07 AM.

Re: Do your DHs not

My DH definately does not think before speaking. The night before I had my second IUI, we were at his parents house. My MIL wanted to know how everything was going, so I told her that the next day was my IUI. When we got home, DH asked me if I told her about the IUI. I said yeah and he got so pizzed at me. I was like ***???? I told him that I was tired of keeping secrets about this from her, not to mention, I need as much support from my family and friends as possible to get through this. So when we finally got into the apartment, it was just silence because I was so pizzed at him and I didn't need any more aggravation from him. I asked him what was wrong and he said that this isn't normal and its embarrassing that we have to go through this. I said that you are fine, the issue is with me. Don't you think that I want to wake up one morning and my period is late and I take a HPT and it comes up positive. Of course I want that, but unfortunately, we need some help. I told him that I'm sorry that I'm such an embarrassment to you that I can't get pregnant like other women. Do you really think that I want to have endometriosis like I have a choice in the matter? I thank god that we live in a time that these fertility options are available to us because before that you either adopted or just didn't have kids. At least we have a chance of having a biological child. After that night, he's been very supportive.

Re: Do your DHs not

Re: Do your DHs not

My DH was supportive in the beginning but after the 7th IUI he stopped coming with me for the insem. He usually donates there and we go to lunch and come back together. We go in the room together with the DR so he should be there for support and during possible conception. Well I am here to tell you that at the last IUI he actually was at the Gym playing rackett ball. He stopped playing went into the bathroom with the cup and I met him outside the gym at 8:30 am with the sperm in my shirt (to keep it warm). And he went back to the game. I know someday I am going to laugh about that. I actually already am.

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My DH doesn't always get how hard this whole process is on me. I make him go to appointments with me whenever possible so he can get a taste of how draining going through fertility treatments can be. He provides his usual comic relief which I often need and I thank him for that. Hang in there!

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Re: Do your DHs not

Re: Do your DHs not

I would have to say that most of the time DH is great, he is also my comic relief when I get all wound up...but sometimes he really puts his foot in it. Also, it could be the hormones racing around in my body from the drugs as well!