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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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How would you feel? (a lil long)
Have you ever recommended someone or something to a person and had them come back to you and complain about what you referred almost as if it is your fault and complaining TO you almost as if you have control over it??
I recommended something to try and be nice and helpful - I went out of my way to do this and I am kicking myself now because it didn't go/turn out exactly how the person wanted it to -- NOTHING even close to major went wrong -- just not exactly how they pictured it turning out - that's all.
I just find it odd to come back and complain to me - with an attitude - like explaining in detail how BAD it was, making me feel awful - I thought to myself, what is the point of telling me this? It is only hurting my feelings b/c I tried to do a good thing AND I can't go back and make things right - no good can come of this. And it is making me feel like it is my fault.
Has this ever happened to anyone??
I will NEVER recommend something again to anyone - ever.
I'm really hurt and I'm surprised by how hurt I am... I kept thinking - "if this were me and they recommended something I would NEVER go back and tell them that I was not pleased simply because I wouldn't want to make them upset and feel bad" I would go out of my way NOT to say anything!  I guess I'm in the minority on that one. 
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Posted 4/4/08 11:16 PM  |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: How would you feel? (a lil long)
It depends I definetly wouldn't want someone to feel bad but if it was services that were horrible I would want that person to know
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| Posted 4/4/08 11:18 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you feel? (a lil long)
You know, this did happen to me once.
But for the life of me I can't remember what it was about.
But I do remember feeling like you do and telling myself to never recommend anything to this person again.
BUT, since I can't remember who or what it was about, I guess it didn't have much of an effect on me.
And I'm sure you will feel the same way in a few days. 
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| Posted 4/4/08 11:20 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: How would you feel? (a lil long)
I've never had the experience, but I know my sister will never recommend anyone to her MIL again b/c her MIL has a problem/complaint about everyone! My sister will have no problems with whoever it is and then my MIL always has something negative to say. I can certainly see how that would be annoying, especially when they make you feel like you're to blame!
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| Posted 4/4/08 11:21 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How would you feel? (a lil long)
Posted by DaniRella
Have you ever recommended someone or something to a person and had them come back to you and complain about what you referred almost as if it is your fault and complaining TO you almost as if you have control over it??
I'm really hurt and I'm surprised by how hurt I am... I kept thinking - "if this were me and they recommended something I would NEVER go back and tell them that I was not pleased simply because I wouldn't want to make them upset and feel bad"
Yes! I recommended a dr that I LOVE to a friend of mine.
She didn't like him, her and her DH went on about how I "was way off on this one" as if I was wrong about how I feel about him.
Basically it was like I was insane for liking this man (when I am very picky about drs). I didn't like the way I was told that she had a bad experience with him, as if it was my fault.
I hear ya. DH tells me not to try to help anyone anymore b/c of things like this. Like you have to have a disclaimer in everything you say and do when only trying to help.
Message edited 4/4/2008 11:22:53 PM.
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| Posted 4/4/08 11:21 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: How would you feel? (a lil long)
Posted by june262004
It depends I definetly wouldn't want someone to feel bad but if it was services that were horrible I would want that person to know
I see what you are saying but the services were not even close to horrible in this case - just not exactly how they pictured. However, I still don't think I would have said anything - just because no good would come out of it - this is a service you only use once so I can't even say that the point could be to have the person avoid using them again in the future.
Message edited 4/4/2008 11:25:45 PM.
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| Posted 4/4/08 11:22 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: How would you feel? (a lil long)
Posted by Jax430
I've never had the experience, but I know my sister will never recommend anyone to her MIL again b/c her MIL has a problem/complaint about everyone! My sister will have no problems with whoever it is and then my MIL always has something negative to say. I can certainly see how that would be annoying, especially when they make you feel like you're to blame!
Yes... I think this is the biggest issue for me because it seems like everything I suggest to them is wrong - they have a problem with everyone and anything I suggest - so this was kind of like the final realization for me.
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| Posted 4/4/08 11:24 PM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: How would you feel? (a lil long)
i would feel hurt too, because you definitely went out of your way to recommend whatever you did and to be honest, that seems very ungrateful of them.
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| Posted 4/4/08 11:24 PM |
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JessieQ
Rest in Peace baby Rogan
Member since 6/07 1122 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: How would you feel? (a lil long)
This has happened to me, I recommended a doctor to someone, a doctor that I had gone to most of my life and really respected, and they hated him- and even went as far as accuse the doctor of lying to them. When they told me this, I was really upset, and didn't know what to say to them. I try not to give suggestions anymore, or at least to be careful of who I give suggestions to.
Actually, thinking about it, years later the same person asked me advice on another health matter and I went to my aunt who is a nurse for advice about a certain doctor. Again this person ended up not liking the doctor. So I guess I didn't learn my lesson.
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| Posted 4/4/08 11:47 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: How would you feel? (a lil long)
It's happened to me too.... I guess you just have to look at it as everyone having their own opinion. I LOVED the provider I recommended, and my friend didn't have the best experience. Oh well, I don't like him any less! And I don't think I'll stop recommending... but I'd just let everyone know that it's purely my OPINION.
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| Posted 4/4/08 11:59 PM |
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BRod-Cheng
I'm going to be a big brother!
Member since 6/07 1860 total posts
Name:
Betty
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Re: How would you feel? (a lil long)
The opposite happened to me. My brother recommended someone who had done work for him so I hired the guy.
I don't know how it came to be that he did such a great job for my brother, but he made a total mess for DH and I, and was trying to overcharge us by almost $9000.
We wound up canceling the deal and going with someone else.
I told my brother about the debacle, but it was NOT to complain. I explained to him that I wanted him to know what happened so that he would not vouch for this guy anymore.
I was afraid that if he did recommend this guy to a less understanding family member or friend it could cost him a realationship.
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| Posted 4/5/08 8:31 AM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: How would you feel? (a lil long)
Posted by BRod-Cheng
The opposite happened to me. My brother recommended someone who had done work for him so I hired the guy.
I don't know how it came to be that he did such a great job for my brother, but he made a total mess for DH and I, and was trying to overcharge us by almost $9000.
We wound up canceling the deal and going with someone else.
I told my brother about the debacle, but it was NOT to complain. I explained to him that I wanted him to know what happened so that he would not vouch for this guy anymore.
I was afraid that if he did recommend this guy to a less understanding family member or friend it could cost him a realationship.
oh wow - yeah, that i could totally understand as well. i have heard of things happening where you are just letting them know - not that you were complaining - but just for future reference. in this case it was more of a verbal bashing and it was like one after another and i almost got the sense that they wanted ME to apologize or something for the rec -- like, somehow, me saying sorry would make them feel better - meanwhile, again, nothing was ruined or even close to that - just out of say 200 items having a service done to them - 5-10 were not "perfect". 
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| Posted 4/5/08 11:10 AM |
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