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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Financial Stability????
Posted by SPECIALNEEDSMOMMY
I wasn't trying to start controversy when I started this post, but I can see where this is headed. I want to say that both my husband and I are educated ... I went to college and he got his education in the military. We both grew up in nice neighborhoods, had hard-working parents and had good lives. To be honest, my parents have money and I never struggled for anything growing up. When we were first married and living in our apartment, we had lots of money in the bank. Then we bought our house. There are mortgage payments, heat, electric, propane and the many, many maintenance things that a house requires. It just doesn't seem like there is ever enough money. When the kids came along, so did the additional expenses. One of my children is disabled and the expenses with him are astronomical ... beyond what insurance pays. My other child ... just normal expenses there. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we live a modest life. I shop on sale for everything. Walmart is my best friend. We eat out very rarely. We entertain on a budget. We haven't taken a vacation in a number of years. We have little to nothing on credit cards ... maybe $3,000. We try ... and I mean try hard ... to watch expenses and we still can't save because there is nothing left to save. My husband works every bit of overtime he can. Sometimes people are just caught in a situation with housing and childcare expenses that they just can't get out of. When we bought our house, we bought within our means and price range. We did not overshoot on anything. It just seems like everything is increasing in cost except for our income. I know a lot of people overextend themselves, but that is not our case ... and not the case of many. Just remember that you can be taught the right way to spend, save and manage money ... but ... sometimes things are thrown your way that just impact your life no matter what you do. I applaud the many men and women on here who have strugged, worked hard and saved lots. I hope to be where you are one day.
I totally agree- i think that you can plan all you like, but sometimes things happen that are out of our control. I applaud anyone who raise a family of 4 on long island on a single income, and meet all fo their needs- it is certainly something to be proud of and its a great accomplishment, even if the number on the bank account may not seem so.
Comparing a situation like that to one where people just spend wayyyyyyy beyond their means and then wonder why theyre in debt though is like comparing apples and oranges. My comments on that were specific to that, not anything else. As anal as i am about financial planning, i'm not blind to the idea that sh*t happens and you have to adjust and make due- but like i said, we are super conservative w/ our money to try to avoid being in that situation to the best of our ability.
I dont think your post started any controversy at all  Everyone's situation is completely different, my point was just that yes, many people end up in tight circumstances b/c it was way beyond their control- but that some put themselves in that situation- 2 totally different things.
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Posted 3/3/08 11:45 PM  |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Financial Stability????
Posted by neenie
So maybe not everyone has the luxury of having 'wiggle room', but the point is that many people put themselves, unnecessarily, into that position and if i can avoid it in anyway possible, i'm going to- that's not advice, its my own personal feelings of "been there, done that, don't ever want to be there again". It also doesnt apply to the people that are making ends meet with what they have- we all have different situations, and what works for one doesn't for the other- i was only speaking of the meaningless spending.
TOTALLY agree with you. I think I probably should not have said 'advise' because I know most people didn't intend their posts as such.
I get aggravated when certain people in my life cry at bill time about how they don't have any money. I mentally tick off things in my head that might afford them an extra few shills in their pocket if they were willing to compromise - get rid of that brand new luxury car with all the extras, cut some corners on that 2nd vacation this year, consider cooking at home instead of your weekly trips to 21 Main...
But just as you were speaking about those people who spend WAY more than they should with obvious places that they can nip and save - I was speaking more to the people who have no place to nip. Sometimes there just aren't anymore notches on the belt and you can't pinch it any further without suffocating. I am totally over sensitive sometimes. I remember friends telling me that everything would be okay - and that saving takes time. I remember being SO depressed because it seemed like nobody understood how thin we were spreading it! I learned not to even hint about financial difficulty because we'd get little gems like "You should switch to powdered milk" or "Maybe you should start riding a bike." Not that they were horrible suggestions - but they made us feel like taking the car to work and drinking milk from a carton were luxuries that we were taking advantage of.
Oh well! Hopefully the economy rights itself and everyone can breathe a little easier!
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| Posted 3/4/08 6:59 AM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Financial Stability????
Posted by rojerono
Posted by neenie
So maybe not everyone has the luxury of having 'wiggle room', but the point is that many people put themselves, unnecessarily, into that position and if i can avoid it in anyway possible, i'm going to- that's not advice, its my own personal feelings of "been there, done that, don't ever want to be there again". It also doesnt apply to the people that are making ends meet with what they have- we all have different situations, and what works for one doesn't for the other- i was only speaking of the meaningless spending.
TOTALLY agree with you. I think I probably should not have said 'advise' because I know most people didn't intend their posts as such.
I get aggravated when certain people in my life cry at bill time about how they don't have any money. I mentally tick off things in my head that might afford them an extra few shills in their pocket if they were willing to compromise - get rid of that brand new luxury car with all the extras, cut some corners on that 2nd vacation this year, consider cooking at home instead of your weekly trips to 21 Main...
But just as you were speaking about those people who spend WAY more than they should with obvious places that they can nip and save - I was speaking more to the people who have no place to nip. Sometimes there just aren't anymore notches on the belt and you can't pinch it any further without suffocating. I am totally over sensitive sometimes. I remember friends telling me that everything would be okay - and that saving takes time. I remember being SO depressed because it seemed like nobody understood how thin we were spreading it! I learned not to even hint about financial difficulty because we'd get little gems like "You should switch to powdered milk" or "Maybe you should start riding a bike." Not that they were horrible suggestions - but they made us feel like taking the car to work and drinking milk from a carton were luxuries that we were taking advantage of.
Oh well! Hopefully the economy rights itself and everyone can breathe a little easier!
Can I ask...did you scrimp to save money or had nothing to save during that period?
How did you get out of it?
I think your a success story no?
Theres two sides to the story..those who truly are strectched thin and those who spend when they dont have. Totally different IMO.
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| Posted 3/4/08 7:26 AM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: Financial Stability????
Posted by mzsocialworker1
My husband and I are very fortunate because most of our savings is from wedding gifts from our families.
I only over the past couple of years became serious about personal finance.
I also think this subject should be taught in schools.
I think a big problem though is that if you are never really exposed to not having much, especially as a child, you tend to be ignorant about personal finance until you need not be anymore (usually some major wake up call lik a ton of credit card debt). Just my personal opinion, not looking to start any drama ;).
Us too, and I totally agree with all of the above.
I had to learn the hard way. I got some credit card offers right out of HS and used and abused them. My credit is on its way up now, but I wish I would've known then what I know now.
(PS- our savings is for a house right now and in a CD- we don't have a seperate account yet for "emergencies")
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| Posted 3/4/08 8:52 AM |
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jerrysgirl
I love my hot dog!!
Member since 6/06 5357 total posts
Name:
E & J
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Re: Financial Stability????
Posted by kahlua716
Posted by mzsocialworker1
My husband and I are very fortunate because most of our savings is from wedding gifts from our families.
I only over the past couple of years became serious about personal finance.
I also think this subject should be taught in schools.
I think a big problem though is that if you are never really exposed to not having much, especially as a child, you tend to be ignorant about personal finance until you need not be anymore (usually some major wake up call lik a ton of credit card debt). Just my personal opinion, not looking to start any drama ;).
Us too, and I totally agree with all of the above.
I had to learn the hard way. I got some credit card offers right out of HS and used and abused them. My credit is on its way up now, but I wish I would've known then what I know now.
(PS- our savings is for a house right now and in a CD- we don't have a seperate account yet for "emergencies")
this is my fi and i also. We have a down payment sitting in the bank and money for our wedding in may. I also have savings bonds that are earning great interest that hopefully i won't touch. I also have student loans that have to get paid off, but the interest is low on them and earing more interest income than paying so i will take a little time to pay them off. If we get any gifts from the wedding, hopefully it will go towards furniture and/or a "real" emergency fund.
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| Posted 3/4/08 9:02 AM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: Financial Stability????
i think it depends on the situation. between DH and i, we probably have about $25 K in savings, not including what DH has in his 401 K.
we live in NJ, which is slightly cheaper than LI- although not by much. we bought his parents house from them. its not our dream house, but its nice enough, and it just made so much sense financially. they had already paid it off, so we pay his parents a "mortgage" every month with a low interest rate. that saves us a lot of money.
we also both work good jobs, and have no kids yet. basically, we are saving all we can now before we have kids.
we are fortunate that for now we are able to save a decent amount while still being able to take trips we want to take, go out to eat a few times a week,etc. who knows how our situation will change in a few years when we have kids, if i decide to stay home, etc....
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| Posted 3/4/08 9:12 AM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: Financial Stability????
Posted by SPECIALNEEDSMOMMY
I'm married, with two little ones, a mortgage, two cars and lots of monthly expenses.
If people are having trouble financially with saving money, I find this to be the biggest issue. I run into so many couples that are living paycheck to paycheck, but drive two (and usually leasing at least one) newer model cars.
Which brings up the age old question, is it really worth it to have two new cars? Isn't one enough and maybe have a beater or an older model car that's paid off as the second car?
Many people have the misconception that they have to have a new car to avoid the issues with repairs. Yet they never realize that nine times out of ten the amount of their repairs never exceeds the cost of carrying a second car payment (in both paying for the loan plus the additional cost of insurance).
I am out of warranty on my car due to mileage and had some repairs come up. You know what I did, I called the customer service up for Chrysler and explained to them I am out of warranty but I had some repair issues. They are fixing my problems for FREE even though I am out of warranty. Not bad right? They obviously want to keep a customer happy. Do most people try to do this if they have repairs on a car that just came off warranty? Probably not.
We have two newer cars in my household (a 2006 and 2005). I drive the 2006 and it will actually be paid off in less than a year. It will be so nice to not have a car payment.
While we are still able to save money every month since we make more than we spend and we fall well above the >25,000 choice. But with that said we will also be able to save a lot more with one less car payment.
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| Posted 3/4/08 9:48 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Financial Stability????
I think it's very easy to look at someone else's situation - their house, clothes, vacations, cars, and say "oh you can/should cut here or there" but everyone has different priorities and although one area may seem like a splurge, there may be a good reason, or there may be another thing they're totally scrimping on.
I'm kind of straddling 2 households right now. My dad never made a lot of money, and was VERY irresponsible with what he did have. They did try to give us things. We had cable TV but we never went on vacations, etc. I grew up in the kind of household where the phone bill only got paid when the phone was turned off, then the cable would be turned off, so we'd find a way to pay that bill, then electricity...etc. Once they came to the house and were about to turn our heat off! 
Now my dad left and he left the remains of that kind of living. We had many many bills. Within 2 days of him leaving I had to come up with $4K to save my car from being repossessed. We're still paying down the enormous water bill that he hadn't paid in YEARS (apparently the city will not shut off your water)...
I've twice had to empty my savings and charge up my credit cards after paying them down, first to fix my car ($6K in work over the past year...way more than car pmts on a new car). Still I am saving bonus $$ I won to buy an expensive camera. I feel like sometimes you need to have SOME things you want.
As for FH, we did live beyond our means for awhile. He was making very good money in finance, and we bought expensive furniture on credit, we ate out a lot, etc etc. We put things on the card because it was not going to be a problem to pay it off over time, and we did pay off the furniture before the 0% interest ran out. But then FH got laid off, and we were screwed. He had to put everything on his CC just to survive. Now we're both struggling to pay down debt.
For me, there's just no end in sight. My mom can't afford to carry her house alone. I can cut out as many dinners out and new clothes or whatever as I want, and it still won't change things (not that i really do things often anyway). I think it's really hard to live a life of constant deprivation. My mom has been working for the first time in 35 years and she doesn't make a lot of money, but she likes to spend some money on getting her hair done, etc. Sometimes I get really angry with her, we can't afford anything and she gets her hair done...but I think when you work and have nothing to show for it and can't buy anything you want, it can get very depressing, so it's ok to occasionally do something you "can't afford." Otherwise there's just nothing to look forward to. I have enough saved up to buy a camera. Now I am thinking of moving my goal to buy the MORE expensive camera, because honestly it makes working hard more worthwhile when i have a goal in sight. As much as I love paying my bills on time, and even paying down my CCs, it's not the same kind of motivation.
Anyway, if you don't have a lot of money in the bank, you are NOT alone, and don't let anyone else make you feel bad about it. People who have plenty of money to save are very lucky. It doesn't mean that if you don't have $X saved, you're doing something wrong. We're all trying to make it the best way we know how.
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| Posted 3/4/08 10:04 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Financial Stability????
the only way you "have" savings is if you don't have the debt to go with it.
so I doubt that many people "have" this type of money "saved".
if you have $25,000 in the bank
but have $10,000 in credit card debt.
$10,000 in student loan debt
or a $300,000 mortgage....you don't really have $25,000....
you have money to keep making monthly payments.
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| Posted 3/4/08 10:08 AM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Financial Stability????
Posted by dm24angel
Can I ask...did you scrimp to save money or had nothing to save during that period?
How did you get out of it?
I think your a success story no?
Theres two sides to the story..those who truly are strectched thin and those who spend when they dont have. Totally different IMO.
I had nothing to save. Not a dime. That's what used to frustrate me - I would have people telling me that I could find money if I just looked hard enough!
Eventually I got a better job and Rob got a better job and we were able to start saving little bits here and there.
Yeah - totally different issue than the folks who just spend willfully.
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| Posted 3/4/08 10:08 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Financial Stability????
Posted by Ophelia
the only way you "have" savings is if you don't have the debt to go with it.
so I doubt that many people "have" this type of money "saved".
if you have $25,000 in the bank
but have $10,000 in credit card debt.
$10,000 in student loan debt
or a $300,000 mortgage....you don't really have $25,000....
you have money to keep making monthly payments.
This is why I don't put $$$ into savings. I put all of my extra money to my CCs. I want to be debt free and THEN start saving.
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| Posted 3/4/08 10:09 AM |
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CunningOne
***
Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
Name:
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Re: Financial Stability????
We're probably not the norm. We have very healthy savings in addition to 401K and 529's for the kids. It's all my DH's doing - he's a saver and I'm a spender. 
We live poorly, but save Richly.
ETA: We are completely debt free except the mortgage....
Message edited 3/4/2008 10:11:58 AM.
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| Posted 3/4/08 10:11 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Financial Stability????
Posted by rojerono
Posted by dm24angel
Can I ask...did you scrimp to save money or had nothing to save during that period?
How did you get out of it?
I think your a success story no?
Theres two sides to the story..those who truly are strectched thin and those who spend when they dont have. Totally different IMO.
I had nothing to save. Not a dime. That's what used to frustrate me - I would have people telling me that I could find money if I just looked hard enough!
Eventually I got a better job and Rob got a better job and we were able to start saving little bits here and there.
Yeah - totally different issue than the folks who just spend willfully.
ITA. We have looked over and over and over looking for places to cut, and there isn't much we could cut. My mom has cut down getting her hair done (finally!), and we don't eat out or order in anymore. But we don't have a cleaning person or anything like that. My BIL pays for the cable and I stole the extra sirius radio from him. 
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| Posted 3/4/08 10:11 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Financial Stability????
For people who say you "live poorly" what does this mean?
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| Posted 3/4/08 10:12 AM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Financial Stability????
living poorly means living below your means even though you don't have to. It means not giving yourself rewards that you feel you should have- because you'd rather put the money away.
It's the person who drives their car into the ground even though they can afford a new one.
that type of thing...
we can spend more- I always act like we have no money in savings and live paycheck to paycheck even though we don't have to.
It literally comes down to $.26 in checking sometimes after we pay the bills and I say to my DH (b/c I manage the money)- OK well we're cleaning out the cabinets until you get paid in 2 days- we have enough food here, enough gas in the tanks, etc...
and that type of living isn't comfortable- but it allows us to not dip into our savings right now and it also allows us to have no debt except my student loan.
Unlike others, I really don't hem and haw about my student loans- I consider them an "investment" that I have to pay off and not a bad debt. Bad debt is something that really doesn't pay off or lead to more money- education theoretically leads to increases in salary. Combine that with the fact that the interest on my student loan is under 3%- and it still pays off to keep money in the bank (b/c it's earning more than 3%).
Oh- one more thing (sorry so long)- what I am really intrigued about here is the huge gap between those who have the 25k and those who live paycheck to paycheck... just looking at the response to the survey- most people are in either of these two categories- not in the middle. What i find interesting is that this pretty much can be said for the whole of the USA- the middle is getting squeezed out and it's either you're in the top or the bottom- with very few in the middle. It's very scary. And i'm not saying those with the 25k are rich- just using it to compare to what is indeed happening in the USA.
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| Posted 3/4/08 11:17 AM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: Financial Stability????
Posted by Ophelia
the only way you "have" savings is if you don't have the debt to go with it.
or a $300,000 mortgage....you don't really have $25,000....
I can understand when you say if you have 10k in credit card debt you don't really have 25k.
But you are saying anyone with 25k in the bank but carries a mortgage doesn't really have 25k in the bank? That's ridiculous.
It's called NET WORTH. If you have a 300,000 mortgage, but your house is worth 400,000, you have a net worth of 100k right there. Plus whatever savings you have.
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| Posted 3/4/08 11:27 AM |
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imas98
Love my Furbaby
Member since 10/07 1140 total posts
Name:
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Re: Financial Stability????
We don't have 6 months worth of savings....just a few k as of now. But I never really considered us paycheck to paycheck ?! We have extra money each month but choose to use as much as possible to pay credit cards. (debt from renovations, our wedding & honeymoon)
This year is looking good though (fingers crossed or course ).....a lot of the house renovations are done and the credit cards will be paid in the next few months 
Once credit cards are paid off we can work on savings, retirement, etc.
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| Posted 3/4/08 11:30 AM |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
Name:
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Re: Financial Stability????
Once we started saving for our wedding, the growing bank account looked really appealing to us and we have become accustomed to saving, spending less and getting rid of our cc debt. We both have 401Ks, but when our son was born, thats when we really buckled down, started saving even more intensely bc we realized that we want our son to have the best, a financially secure future and grow up the way we have never ever even dreamed of growing up.
We recently invested some of our son's money and are planning to invest more and expand our assets in the future.
I think its hard at the beginning but you really need to set goals and standards for yourself and then take it from there.
Message edited 3/4/2008 11:38:22 AM.
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| Posted 3/4/08 11:37 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Financial Stability????
Posted by ave1024
Posted by Ophelia
the only way you "have" savings is if you don't have the debt to go with it.
or a $300,000 mortgage....you don't really have $25,000....
I can understand when you say if you have 10k in credit card debt you don't really have 25k.
But you are saying anyone with 25k in the bank but carries a mortgage doesn't really have 25k in the bank? That's ridiculous.
It's called NET WORTH. If you have a 300,000 mortgage, but your house is worth 400,000, you have a net worth of 100k right there. Plus whatever savings you have.
what I am saying is, if you have $25k and lose your job with that much debt...the 25 k may not leave you feeling too secure...which is what I think of when I think financially secure. that I won't lose my home if I were to lose my job...that sort of thing.
that's why I am scared SH!TLESS of carrying a mortgage. b/c as long as that debt is bigger than my savings, I will not feel secure (but that is the opinon who is not in finance and is only going by gut feeling)
you seem to have a background in finance, so you may feel/know differently.
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| Posted 3/4/08 11:42 AM |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
Name:
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Re: Financial Stability????
Posted by ave1024
Posted by Ophelia
the only way you "have" savings is if you don't have the debt to go with it.
or a $300,000 mortgage....you don't really have $25,000....
I can understand when you say if you have 10k in credit card debt you don't really have 25k.
But you are saying anyone with 25k in the bank but carries a mortgage doesn't really have 25k in the bank? That's ridiculous.
It's called NET WORTH. If you have a 300,000 mortgage, but your house is worth 400,000, you have a net worth of 100k right there. Plus whatever savings you have.
I have to agree here...mortgage and cc debt are a little different...both debts, one is good the other one bad...one will pull you under, the other is an asset.
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| Posted 3/4/08 11:42 AM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: Financial Stability????
If I had 10k in credit card debt I definitely wouldn't consider myself having 25k in savings (if that's what I actually had).
In fact if I was carrying 10k in credit card debt and was paying anything more than 3% in interest the credit card debt would be paid off and I guess I would be saying I had 15k in savings instead.
Student loan debt I guess is a different situation as to what to classify that under. You don't have any assets to show for it, except for your own knowledge. I wouldn't call it bad debt.
And carrying a mortgage isn't as scary as you think. As long as you have sufficient equity (20% or more) in your house there are always options out there in case you ever fall on hard times. It's the people putting 5% or less down that need to be worried.
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| Posted 3/4/08 11:57 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Financial Stability????
We have no debt at all and a good amount in savings, but we were married older (more time to save), don't have a house yet and didn't have a child until recently. I was also able to pay off my student loans early with money from my dad's estate - while I am grateful I was able to do this, considering where the money came from, I would rather have that debt. I could have paid it off myself by now.
I was in a full time volunteer program for 2 years after I graduated from college and lived on a very limited income - we were supposed to live the same lifestyle as the populations we were working with. Although I didn't grow up in a household with a lot of money, it was during that time that I REALLY learned about what things are needs and what are wants. While I know it wasn't the same as what my clients experienced, since I had my family as a safety net (and health insurance), it was a great learning experience and something I still think back on when we talk about spending money. We do splurge on occasion, but generally live below our means, which is why we are able to save so much.
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| Posted 3/4/08 8:29 PM |
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