spinoff to rude behavior

What are your responses when people ask you are you planning a family yet? - I am getting tired of saying when it happens.

Re: spinoff to rude behavior

I must be honest...it was not until I joined this board that I realized asking that question is personal and can be considered rude. I always asked out of genuine excitment and support, not to be malicious. Now someone adding something to the effect of not being a "spring chicken" or thingss "Shriveling up", that of course is a whole other story but someone asking nicely I do not feel deserves a rude comment as I have seen people mention before. That someone asked them and they had a smart remark.

I am just saying, some people are asking innocently, like I used to....I ask no more

Re: spinoff to rude behavior

it doesn't really bother me. I kind of expected EVERYONE to ask since before the wedding all I heard was "How are the wedding plans going"

JMO

Re: spinoff to rude behavior

I just tell people "we're working on it" and kind of laugh. If it's someone I trust then I go into the fact that I have PCOS and that it hasn't been as easy as we had hoped but we're doing what we can.

Re: spinoff to rude behavior

It doesn't bother me one bit when people ask. I usually say "soon" or "we'll see" kind of thing.

I think it's an easy conversation starter for some people and that's why they ask. I don't think it's meant to be rude.

Re: spinoff to rude behavior

When people ask I almost always say "soon". I never discuss it further and always change the subject.

Re: spinoff to rude behavior

Posted by abutterfly1123

When people ask I almost always say "soon". I never discuss it further and always change the subject.

Re: spinoff to rude behavior

It's so hard because we don't really want anyone to know we are trying. We just want it to be a surprise when it happens.

But I don't want to lie to people either because then I feel like I'm jinxing myself.

So I always say "the thought is there" and change the subject. This way people know we are thinking about it and it is a possibility we are trying without coming out and saying it.

Re: spinoff to rude behavior

I just say, you never know! I don't want to ruin the surprise.

I don't mind when relatives and friends ask me once in a while...it's the people that I barely know who ask me every single time they see me.

What I want to say to those people: "My reproductive plan is not appropiate small talk. Just talk about the waether. And even if I were pregnant this second you would SO not be the person I'd be telling!"

Re: spinoff to rude behavior

I dont mind the question, but it is annoying and rude when you get it often - from the same person.

I get asked any day i see Dh family, i used to tell them eventually, when we are ready..

we've decided to tell them we are considering not having any kids because of all the bad things we hear about having them from his syblings... how much $ they cost, you cant do anything, go anywhere, waking in the mdidle of the night, always in their bed, etc...

i figure that comment might shut them up. I really dont get it from others - when i do it is OCCASIONAL and i never get to answer as they end it with - "i shouldnt do that you have to start on your own time." or the occasional person at work i just say we are going to evaluate our situation in a few yrs, but not b4 then.