Getting Nervous (Long)

New here and just need to vent to someone. I’m 31 and my husband and I are going on our 4th cycle of ttc. The rational side of me realizes that this is not a very long time, but I can’t help but wonder if there is something wrong. I mean, we’re not winging it. Each cycle has been perfectly timed using both the clearblue fm, opks, waiting for ewcm, and even using preseed. I have a regular cycle and usually ovulate on day 14 or 15. I started charting this month too.

On the pregnancy board there’s a post for new mom’s to be asking how long they ttc before becoming pregnant. The majority of girls responded with 3 months or under. I just want to cry when I read that. My husband thinks I’m crazy and has a difficult time empathizing with me, but this month when I got my period I was truly devastated.

I have become consumed with this process, walk around with a knot in my stomach most days, and I absolutely dread the next “two week wait.” I was so optimistic in the beginning and now I just can’t shake the feeling that this is just not going to happen easily for me. I just feel like I’m in for another two weeks of imagining every symptom in the book, only to completely distraught at the end. Sorry my first post here is so long and depressing, but I really don’t have anyone to confide in right now.

Re: Getting Nervous (Long)

First of all, welcome!

I think it's great that you are reaching out here, a lot of us girls are in the same boat as you. It helps to connect with others who can relate. Keep reminding yourself that most doctors won't even see you for fertility problems until you have been trying for a full year. I believe every cycle, even with perfect timing, your chances are something like 15-20%.

I know it is scary and difficult, but hang in there. DH's don't always understand, so post here and you'll get a ton of support!

Re: Getting Nervous (Long)

DOn't worry..I felt the same way..but it will happen It takes some people up to a year.

Re: Getting Nervous (Long)

Thank you.

Re: Getting Nervous (Long)

I'm 35 and got pregnant on the 5th try - even though mine sadly ended in m/c, I still got pg. Not everyone succeeds on the first try and that does not mean there's something wrong. Obviously, when you feel the need, you should get tested. I understand how you feel, I know many who got pg on the first month, some were not even trying!! I would suggest using the ovulation kits if you are not already. Best of luck, wishing you a bfp in your near future!!

Re: Getting Nervous (Long)

Everybody is different. I'm 26 and got pg after 2 years of no birth control. I have PCOS and I thought I was supposed to start clomid this summer, but it happened on its own for us in Feb. Don't worry.

Re: Getting Nervous (Long)

Posted by Chai77

First of all, welcome!

I think it's great that you are reaching out here, a lot of us girls are in the same boat as you. It helps to connect with others who can relate. Keep reminding yourself that most doctors won't even see you for fertility problems until you have been trying for a full year. I believe every cycle, even with perfect timing, your chances are something like 15-20%.

I know it is scary and difficult, but hang in there. DH's don't always understand, so post here and you'll get a ton of support!

Re: Getting Nervous (Long)

Frankiesgirl - I know how you feel and actually and it sounds like you are reading my mind today. I tested this morning and got another BFN and I cried. I've been off the pill for 5 months. We've had very good timing, this was my 3rd month charting(normal cycles), we are 28 and healthy, I never thought it would be a difficult process. DH doesn't get it he says we just started and pleads with me to stop reading and going on the boards b/c I am only going to drive myself more insane. I'm starting to think, maybe he's right--I might just completely detach myself from my laptop and my copy of TCYOF for the next month. I'm sick of hearing it will happen when you least expect it but maybe it's true--I don't expect it anymore but know it will eventually happen.
I'm sorry for my long post but I just wanted you to know you are not alone! There are more of us out of there that are moving on past month three...


Everyone on here is wonderful and I think it's a great support and somewhere you can actually talk to people about it so if I do stop posting for a bit it will be hard but I'm sure I'll be back. (I like it much better here than the nest)

Message edited 7/26/2007 8:29:25 AM.

Re: Getting Nervous (Long)

I am sorry you are feeling sad. You have come to a great place, many of us here know the feeling of "is it ever going to happen?"
I know each cycle seem so long, but keep trying! The most advice I could give you, is if you really feel something is wrong, listen to your body and ask your doctor questions. Most doctors will tell you that they will not consider infertilty issues until you have been trying for a year.
Good luck to you!!

ETA: there are many who do not conceive in three months or less... some of us on here cant' even try because we are not ovulating, so we are TTO, lol.

Message edited 7/26/2007 9:27:12 AM.

Re: Getting Nervous (Long)

Just want to thank you all for the encouraging words.

Re: Getting Nervous (Long)

i felt the same way last month which was my 4th or 5th month. depends how you count. the first month i wasnt trying that dillegently... anyway i started charting and saw my luteal phase was a bit short. i called a dr. she said it could be a problem. then she noticed somethign else that could have affected me. i was sick once in my life as a baby and she thoght it could have affected me. i started going for infertility testing. everyhtign came back fine and i thoght i was crazy for doign this and over reacting and figured i juts had to wait it out a bit longer and it was just the law of averages. then we had a SA b/c the dr said why not just make sure. this reaveled a potiental issue. im now going for IUI this weekend which was my drs suggestion. i dont know why but i knew somehtign wasnt right. and i was pretty obsessed with gettign checked out. then i did and i thought i was riduculuos for going. then i was glad i did. all of that said i think most people really are OK and it does happen. average is 3-6 months. i only went to the dr due to my luteal phase had i not seen that i would have waited a few more months. dr said i could talk after 6 months of tryign if no luck but not to worry until after a year. i guess i dont have much of a point, im just shring my story and ;letting you know i know exactly how you feel. im pretty scared and felt the same way. i kow its hard not to get mad at DH for not understandign every feelin gyou are having but try to give him the benefit of the doubt. i have to keep reminding myself not to be mean to mine. i dont intend to but i am so up and down about this whole process and i dont feel i have anyone to else to talk to. i hope this post wasnt a downer. there are so many peole who get BFP --we will too!
good luck to all for BFP this month!

Re: Getting Nervous (Long)

Boy oh boy have you hit the nail on the head with how so many of us are feeling. Thanks for your honest and very insightful post. I am going into month #4 of TTC and believe me I know how you feel. You will find a lot of support here and you will learn a lot as well. Try to stay busy and stay positive. Remember that at the end of the day there is always a next step with seeing a RE if you feel you have reached the end of your rope with trying. Hang in there and we are here for you!

Re: Getting Nervous (Long)

Let me tell you sweetie, you are NOT ALONE!!!!! I bet many of us here feel the same way (including myself) don't be down about it, we've been "officially" trying for the 4th cycle also. Keep positive and keep doing what you're doing, it's bound to work for us sometime right ;)
I know it seems like forever, it really stinks when you want something so bad!!! I know it in my heart it's gonna be here for all of us sooner than we thought!
XOXOXO
Kitty

Re: Getting Nervous (Long)

I know how you feel.
You actually just replied to my own vent.

The reality is that it could just be nothing, or it could be something. I've had tons of friends who have tried for a very long time, only to find out that there was something slightly "off" that prevented pregnancy, and was totally fixable.

For example, a good friend of mine tried for over a year, and learned upon investigation that she had a blocked fallopian tube. She was going to go through a procedure to "unblock" it, and 2 days before that, she found out she was pregnant. It could be absolutely anything......and absolutely nothing.

Are you making sure that you BD 2 days after your pos. OPK?

I agree that you should give it a bit more time, and if it is really continuing to drive you nuts....see an RE.
I feel your pain. persoanally, I too am obsessed with this.
Its actually taking a toll on my marraige b/c BD is not fun at all anymore. Sad to say but I will admit it. It used to be fun, but now it is just so centered around conception........and I just don't want to be this way.
It sounds like you are doing everything that you're supposed to be doing....I'd give it 6 months and then take more drastic measures.