Spin off on leaving LI

For those of you that said they would miss their families I have a question. Have any of you gone away to school? Or lived somewhere else? I have lived in AZ for college and also moved to upstate NY with my DH. So I think maybe thats why I don't really think about that issue so much. Just curious.

Re: Spin off on leaving LI

going away to college isnt permanent - so I dont think its comparable.

while I do have friends that lived where they went to school after college - they had a base of friends there.

You come home during breaks, summer, etc.

Re: Spin off on leaving LI

I agree with Meghan - for me, college was not permanent. I wasn't sure if I was going back to L.I. or not. For me, leaving L.I. for N.J. was a huge thing because it meant that I would never ever ever be back as a resident. It was not a "I'll be there for four years" thing. It's hard to deal with for some people and it was completely different for me than college was.

Re: Spin off on leaving LI

No, I did not go away to school. But I don't really think you can compare the two... going away to school, you know you will come home every summer and for a few weeks in the winter.
If I were to move away now, to someplace like NC, it would be a big deal to come back to ny or for friends/family to visit me. And if I had kids brought into the mix, I think it would make things even more difficult for me, I would want my children to know their grandparents.

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you can't compare the two, they are totally different situations.

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Re: Spin off on leaving LI

I guess I just feel having lived in Arizona(its quite far and i only came home for Christmas and summers) I was used to living away from my family. I just was curious if anyone else felt this way.

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I went away to college and even then hated not being near my family....I transferred to a school closer to home and decided then that being close to family was always going to be a top priority for me.

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I went away to college...my DH did not-he commuted

I still had a difficult time in the beginning when I came to GA- even though I knew it was a temporary move- I think it was the thought of being so far away, in college we were only a 2 hour drive away-also in GA we had no friends or family at all- so it was hard getting used to doing things on my own-since it was temporary I didn't get a job----now we are coming back to CT next week and I am going to miss GA!

Message edited 4/30/2007 3:24:43 PM.

Re: Spin off on leaving LI

i went away to college and loved it! we moved away from family, but only to NJ so it's not really that far (well to my ILs we might as well have moved to Siberia ). Although I would love to be close enough to family to see them more often and pop over for visits during the week, we love where we live in NJ and definitely got more for our money here. I don't miss LI itself, but I do miss the family and friends that are there. We are still close enough that we see family on average 2x a month. Right now I don't think I would move as far away as NC or FL, but after college I did consider staying in MD.

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I did not go away to school and family is why.

I am extremely close to my family and now DH's family. We are always with them. I can't even imagine not having them so close.

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I don't think you can compare them.
I went away to school but I was also 18 years old and WANTED to be away from my family and live on my own for a while...
Now, I would hate to move away from them, I have a child and life is just different.

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Re: Spin off on leaving LI

I went far away to college and hated it-

but I never moved back to suffolk where I am from- my DH on the other hand never left suffolk until we got engaged (the joke is he is the mayor of everything east of 110)

but now that our familes have moved and we are looking at houses- we don't think we want to stay here- we are moving to be closer to our familes

I have been living in NY with out my family for almost a year- and it sucks

if my family was still here- (which they never planned on staying once my parents retired) I would want to stay

if my brother or sister still lived here I would want to stay- so my reasons for moving are different then most peoples- besides the nicer home, more relaxed pace of life- and maybe seeing my DH come home before 9:30pm for once- I want to be with in driving distance of my dad and inlaws-

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I left VA for grad school and never looked back. I understand that some people think they will miss their family & friends but you will make new friends and your family can visit. I cried when my dad an uncle left me in NYC and I knew not a soul. But I have made some wonderful friends in NY and found my husband here

It's all about quality of life and outside of NY. The pace is just different and things are cheaper....not just housing but even a McDonald's value meal is like $1 cheaper outside of NY.

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I went away to college for a short time and was homesick. I think no matter where you are it's difficult to be away from family.

Right now, I'm contemplating bringing my parents back here to be close to us. As they get older it will be harder for us to be so far away.

Having a support system close by is very important. For me right now, much more important than a better home or a closer commute.

I have friends and family all over the country. We rarely visit. it's hard to take time out of your life to travel as much as you would like to see them.

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I went away to school and rarely went home, except during holiday's, cause I travelled around with friends during breaks, etc.

When I graduated, although I was only 3-4 hours from home, I moved another 500 miles away to LI completely on the opposite side of the state from where my family was.

I've made a home for myself on LI, and although I have attachments to other areas, I now consider LI home.

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I actually lived on the West Coast for 10 years and moved back to NY. I found that when I was in my early to mid 20s I didn't miss my family as much, but it became harder for me as I got older.

It was very difficult to be so far away when my parents were very ill. I also found myself wanting to be closer as nieces and nephews were being born. I am glad I came back and for now have no plans of moving again. I had a very full life and met lots of friends out there, but as everyone was getting married and having children, I wasn't seeing as much of them as I used to.

Message edited 4/30/2007 5:18:01 PM.

Re: Spin off on leaving LI

I lived and went to school in NJ growing up, so no, I didn't go away to school. After that, I moved to Manhattan for quite a few years, Brooklyn several years, than LI a couple years ago.

While I haven't lived in different parts of the country, I have travelled extensively for work and vacations, and I really didn't find another place that felt like home except this area. San Diego was a possibility, but since I had no family remotely nearby and no friends in that area, I didn't go.

Now, DH and I are near and at 40, and we just like it here. Since we can afford to stay, we will. Plus, we're starting a family, and we definitely want some family and friends around to help out.

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I think everyone will have their own spin on why or why not move.

My DH & I come from EXTREMELY small families and while seeing them often would be great, at the same time our home and our new family we are building, are very important to us. We do not want to sacrafice where we live and new opportunities elsewhere, knowing there is so much out there.

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I went to college in Indiana and I moved to Chicago afterwards. I lived there for about 2 years and then I got promoted and travelled for my job. I lived in about 19 states in 4 years. I moved back to NY after being away for 5 years after college. I actually never intended on staying, but here I am!

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When I was living in my dorm here in NY, my HS friends were also away at school, so home wasn't the same, and the dorm provided instant friends. For law school I traveled a greater distance, and I was homesick and I found many cultural differences that were difficult to overcome. All in all, it was a wonderful experience but it also taught me that it is okay to want to be right here.