Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

I got an invite for a baby shower at the mother to be's house. The shower is 5 hours long, and everyone is supposed to bring a gift AND a dish to eat.

Are potluck showers typical? I haven't been to one in a few years....

Also, what is the going amount for a baby shower gift? I'm not very close with the couple (husband works with the groom). I know there isn't a definite answer, but would appreciate a range. Is $100 too little?

Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

$100 I think is very generous. Especially if you’re expected to prepare a meal. I don’t think potluck is typical, at least not in this area of the country.

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

Sounds it to me.

And 5 hours?? I would leave after 3 since she isn't a close friend. (Unless you're having a great time of course).

$100 is not too little at all. Its pretty generous for someone you arent that close with; but that is just me.

Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

I don't think its tacky. I think its a bit unusual to have a pot luck shower, however, I know one of my cousin's fiancee's shower was potluck at a VFW hall. the potluck part was normal/expected in her culture (I was told).

I personally think all these showers in restaurants gets crazy. Its a lot of money to to pay for the host/hosts.

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

What if you don't cook?
That would piss me off.
I work all week, raise a child, take care of a house and cook for my own family, now I have to cook for your shower AND bring a gift?
Ummm no.
Hire a caterer.
Plus it skeeves me to eat homemade food from people that I don't know. I have no idea how clean their kitchen is, their food prep and handling technique. Skeeves me.

I'd probably decline.

Message edited 3/14/2018 9:25:13 AM.

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

I’m sorry but this is even ghetto for me lol. I would decline and send a $50gc to baby’s R US - ok kidding on the store but would send a GC and decline.

I can understand family chipping in and cooking to help throw a relative a shower but a potluck and asking all guest to bring something. Tacky - and I rarely think things are tacky.

Also 100 bucks is very generous.

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

Since you are not close, I'd decline the invite and send a gift.

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

Bring a dish? What is that about? If you have to subject yourself to a shower, then you get free food.

It’s totally tacky. And 5 hours— .

$100 is very generous. I’d but something off the registry for a lot cheaper and call it a day. Buy a cake or something, but there is no way in hell I would cook for a shower. IT sounds like the host wants to get out of hosting.

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

FIVE HOURS is WAAAAY too long and yes, I think it is EXTREMELY tacky to have a potluck shower.

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

Is the mother to be throwing the shower?
I agree with all said, too long and your gift is on the generous side.
The real question is will alcohol be served?

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by loveus

Is the mother to be throwing the shower?
I agree with all said, too long and your gift is on the generous side.
The real question is will alcohol be served?

It's probably BYOB as well!

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

5 hrs is much too long for a baby shower that would be my first turn off.

2nd, depending on where she lives a potluck shower might be normal for her / her family.

i live in PA now (from NY) and my neighbor next door one year sent me an invite to her kids birthday party in their back yard, complete with an insert on the kids sizing and wish list wants,and please make something. Umm F**King NO. YOu want a birthday party for your kid, supply the food for your guests.

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

Honestly, I'd have more respect for a person who just sent a request for gifts than to throw a "shower" where the guests have to provide the food, etc.

Just call it like it is- I want gifts. I don't want to have to pay for food or a party.

I'd gladly send you something to avoid having to go to some potluck for 5 hours!!!

Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

Ugh...5 hours?? And I need to bring food and a gift?? Too much for me for someone I am not friends with. I'd decline and send a gc. Just alone, 5 hours on my day off...no thanks. If it was family, that would be different.

Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

She’s not your friend or family member. Just decline. Your dh can bring in something small if you want to the office.

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

Posted by NervousNell

Honestly, I'd have more respect for a person who just sent a request for gifts than to throw a "shower" where the guests have to provide the food, etc.

Just call it like it is- I want gifts. I don't want to have to pay for food or a party.

I'd gladly send you something to avoid having to go to some potluck for 5 hours!!!

Re: Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

i'm going to add another voice to the chorus of "um, no."

as a hostess, i have a very hard time asking anyone to bring anything.

i have lived in many parts of these lovely united states and have mingled with people from all sorts of places, i have never been asked to bring food to a shower of any kind. i've never even heard of it in conversations.

all that said...
if you're not that close to the mom-to-be, i would decline and send a gift card to where ever she's registered and call it a day. and $100 is very generous under these conditions.

Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

I'd send a few outfits and bundle of books and stay home if you aren't close with this person. But if you want to go $100 is more than enough, I'd probably do half that in this situation and I'd prepare an easy dish like salad, pasta, or a cake.

Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

I agree. I would rather eat a 6 foot hero and macaroni salad then stuff other people made in their homes.

Is this tacky or am I out of touch....?

I feel than any party where your bring a gift you shouldn’t bring food. If they were having a random party I would ask what to bring and not be insulted if they requested something simple and easy.

Message edited 3/14/2018 10:25:24 AM.