If you stay at someone house..

If you have stayed at someone's house for an extended period of time (more than a few days) do you offer to pickup groceries etc?

I have a family of 6 staying at my house because of construction on their home.
They will be staying with me for at least 2 weeks.
No one has made a move to offer to buy any food or help make dinners etc.
I am at work during the day and I know they have gone to pick up lunch at places like Subway etc for themselves but all other meals/snacks are eaten at my house.
I was even given a list of cereals, drinks and some snacks to pick up before they came because my sister- in - law knew I was heading to the store that day!
Am I being selfish or overreacting?
I just figured that maybe they would bring over some of their own stuff too.

If you stay at someone house..

wow that is nuts i would never expect someone to open their house to me and pay for all the groceries and do all the work!!!

If you stay at someone house..

I would think a family staying like that would bring a few things. Me personally would do a quick shop when I got there, and get the homeowners a food store GC when I left. I would never expect them to cover my family like that for that length of time.

If you stay at someone house..

I even bring (too many) things if I'm staying with a relative overnight. I think most of us would. I think it's terrible that they not only gave you a grocery list, but haven't contributed a thing.
I don't think this is normal, and they're not being very gracious. So sorry

Re: If you stay at someone house..

I would definitely bring my own food and I would try to be as little of an inconvenience as possible. I would never expect someone to provide food for me and my kids for that long of a time period. If it was one night I might not bring anything and offer to order in a pizza but anything over 1 night you bring food!

If you stay at someone house..

Crazy imo. When we stay a few days with my in laws I pack a bag or two of what my kids and dh eat. We dont bother offering to chip in for groceries bc I know they wouldn't accept.

We've stayed a week or so with my sister and she asks what she can pick up for us bc we can't bring stuff. She doesn't accept money but we'll pick up stuff for her during the week, take them out you eat, help her with babysitting so it sort of evens out. Plus when she visits us I feed her family.

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Re: If you stay at someone house..

That's crazy. They should definitely be buying their own food and the occasional take out dinner for everyone. I can't believe your SIL told you what cereals they wanted!

If you stay at someone house..

That is messed up that they didn't even offer

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Re: If you stay at someone house..

I wouldn't mind picking up groceries for them if I was already going to be at the store, but I'd let them know how much their bill came to and ask for the money back.

I just wouldn't cook for them. Feeding an extra 6 people for 2 weeks is crazy. Casually ask her how she'd like to work out a cooking schedule so you don't get in each other's way each night. That should give her the hint that you're not running an all-inclusive.

If you stay at someone house..

6 people?? Two weeks? They have some set of balls not offering anything but a list!!!! You are nicer then me. I wouldn't feed them without any help (money or assistance in preparing)

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That's crazy! If I were staying with someone not only would I chip in (or go shopping for) groceries I'd offer to cook AT LEAST a few times a week. I can't imagine doing absolutely nothing, that is kind of rude TBH.

ETA - If they didn't offer to pay for anything or cook I'd be making a GIANT pot of sauce and then I'd feed them NOTHING but pasta EVERY SINGLE DAY. $0.99 cents a box, I'd flip the bill for that. NO WAY I'd be paying to feed a family of SIX for weeks!

Message edited 7/13/2017 11:51:23 AM.

Re: If you stay at someone house..

That's insane!! I would not only buy all the groceries, but I would either cook or take them out for dinner. I would NEVER ask someone to pick up groceries for me and my family. Family or no family. I don't know how she walks around with those huge ballz.

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Damn; she's ballsy! Did she offer $$$ for the items she told you to pick up for her family of 6 at least?

In short, I would be LIVID.

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we stayed with friend when we sold our house and were waiting to get into the new house.
for the entire time we were there, we bought ALL the groceries. I asked them for a list of what they needed and we bought it. I also got home earlier and made dinner almost every night. I am sure they are saving a lot of money staying with you and it is the least they can do.

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Thank you everyone for making me feel that I am not crazy.
No money was offered for the stuff I picked up.
I also found an empty container of cookies on my counter and an empty container in my freezer from ice cream sandwiches. I am not sure why nobody can throw away empty containers!!

This arrangement is definitely more stressful than I imagined.

Re: If you stay at someone house..

I'm sure they will offer at some point or at the end. I think they should do it sooner rather than later though. What if you call the adults while you're at work and ask them to pick up dinner since "you'll be late". See how they handle it.

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And go get a mani/pedi during that time. If they go out and buy food for their family and don't include yours, I'd have a talk with them. I'd be curious how they would handle that

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Next time I would give them a list and have them go to the supermarket because you are too "busy" to go yourself.

Also ask them to do stuff around the house and cook.

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That is definitely rude. They should be contributing in some way especially since you are doing them a favor-for 6 weeks! I'd tell them they are welcome but it would be nice if they took care of the groceries.

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Re: If you stay at someone house..

As a family of 6, I can't imagine someone feeding our family for 2 weeks. You said sister in law, so is it your brothers wife or your DHs sister? Bc someone needs to have a conversation with them, otherwise it's just going to build up resentment (and honestly, rightfully so).

I hope they maybe are just frazzled and not thinking correctly and right their wrong real fast!

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I would 100% be buying food and enough to feed everyone in the house not just my family and if the other family didn't like what my family ate I would buy what they liked.

If I was home all day and my host was working I would be cooking dinner so my host didn't have too.

Once I left I would either clean or pay somone to come clean the house and give them money/gift card to cover for a thank you.

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I'd be taking my family out to dinner. Every night.
No effing way would I come home from a full day of work and then have to cook food for everyone, when no one pitches in cost or help.