Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED

One of my close friends is having a year end party as she always does. There is probably 40 something kids and 30 something adults going. She just sent out a text to nine of the friends invited saying she's asking for a $40 contribution to help cover food and kids drinks and appetizers.
Is this weird? Or is it just me?
I already spent About $100 on making an infused vodka that she asked me to bring. Plus part of the list of guests is not being asked.

Update: just got a reminder text from her best friend!!!

Morning Ladies, just a reminder to bring your $40 family contribution to Julies. You can give to myself or x. I already have B & a's money
She is gracious enough to host our annual last day of school party so the kids and adults can have a fun day! Thank you and see you all soon.

Message edited 6/23/2017 10:52:12 AM.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

What's weird is not everyone was asked to contribute.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Did the friends she asked all invite other people? If not, it is weird. I could see maybe if she asked way in advance and you hadn't yet planned for your contribution.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

What?!

Thats ridiculous. If you can't afford to throw a party, don't throw a party. Also, once people contribute (well, some people...because not everyone was asked to contribute and that's a whole other level of fuckery) - they're going to feel like they should have a say in what she buys.

I'd stay home with the infused vodka and Netflix.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

It''s weird.
If you can't afford it, don't have the party.
Or charge everyone a cover charge and watch no one come.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

That's crazy. If you can't afford to host a party of that size, then don't have a party. It's one thing to ask guests to bring a dish, but I would never ask for money.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Weird!

Are the ones being asked the ones bringing children? Not that it matters it's still weird and tacky. I'm just trying to figure out why some were asked and some weren't.

Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Yeah definitely tacky. Host a pot luck if you want contributions and if you can't afford it then don't do it or stay within a budget you can afford.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

I would definitely not be okay with that. Asking people to bring xyz is one thing, but asking for cash is ridiculous. Don't throw a party you can't afford.

I'm curious if anyone has responded? I honestly don't know whay I would say to the host but I'm sure the texts would be flying amongst everyone else.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

That's crazy!!! I would question her.

I was invited to a birthday party last year and the hostess asked everyone to bring their own beverage of choice, alcoholic or not. Unless you drink an very expensive bottle of something I would expect the hostess to provide beer, wine, soda and water. My mom brought water LOL

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

That's weird!!! Why not just make it pot luck? We do an end of year BBQ at work and everyone bring a dish and contributes $5 for meat and rolls. $40 seems excessive.

Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Definitely weird since you are already bringing something AND she only asked a few people to contribute - not everyone.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

I wouldn't mind contributing IF it was decided before the get together was officially planned that ALL families would be chipping in.

If she decided to throw a party on her own without it being agreed upon that the cost would be split, then she is 100% responsible for the costs incurred to host a big party. Also, you do NOT ask only SOME of the families to contribute while others do not have to. That's tacky.

I think $100 in vodka is more than enough of a contribution!

Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

That's ridiculous.

I could never in a million years ask people to help fund a party I decided to host.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Don't host if you can't afford the party. If we have a birthday party for the kids and people ask what they can bring I tell them nothing. If we have a random BBQ or host a holiday once they ask I tell them either a dessert or being what they drink. I never ask outright bc if we can't afford it I wouldn't have a party/get together.

Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

That's insane and I wouldn't go.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Posted by Hofstra26

I wouldn't mind contributing IF it was decided before the get together was officially planned that ALL families would be chipping in.

If she decided to throw a party on her own without it being agreed upon that the cost would be split, then she is 100% responsible for the costs incurred to host a big party. Also, you do NOT ask only SOME of the families to contribute while others do not have to. That's tacky.

I think $100 in vodka is more than enough of a contribution!

Message edited 6/21/2017 11:40:43 AM.

Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

As others said, I don't think its appropriate for people to ask for a $$ contribution to a party they've been invited to, unless its really was set up like "lets all get together, OK, we can use my yard but lets chip in an get it catered"

I'm a little confused by the guest ratio, more kids than adults, unless its older kids that get dropped at a friends house, rather than a group of families getting together.

$40 seems excessive to ask for, however, honestly $360 isn't a lot as far as how much it costs. I just had a party for 45 people in my backyard, and although I didn't add up everything I'm pretty sure it was more than that, and I did all the cooking. Mine was a 1st birthday party for my son, so I didn't ask for any help food wise. However, if this was a summer get together at my house, I'd try and ask for some apps, salads, drinks etc to help with the effort. Less so from a cost perspective, more so from a work perspective.

Bring the infused Vodka somewhere else without a cover charge.

Message edited 6/21/2017 11:45:04 AM.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

You should ask if she wants the infused vodka or the $40. If you're financially contributing, then that's your contribution, not the vodka.