How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

Sorry for such a sad topic the day before Christmas.

I'm having such a hard time deciding what to do with my 15 year old dog. He was the first dog dh and I ever got as a couple and one of the best dogs I have ever known. I've had to put down some of my other dogs through the years but they were all barely conscious or near death. My dog has very bad hip dysplasia. He cannot get up and down on his own, wag his tail, falls and needs assistance walking. He doesn't bark anymore and we don't know why. He cannot go to the bathroom in an upright position and he has lost control of his bowls and urine. So for the last 6 months I've been cleaning up dog poop and pee 5-10x a day. I have to bathe him everyday and he is almost 50lbs. It's exhausting and it smells. He has no real life. Depends on us for everything. The thing that kills me is that the vet says his blood work is that of a 7 year old dog. He eats well and I can see the love in his eyes. Im just so torn. I feel like I can't do it and dh says he will do it if I give the go ahead but it's wrecking him too. I really don't know what I'm looking for maybe others who have had similar experiences or reassurance that I would be doing the right thing.

Message edited 12/23/2016 8:53:45 AM.

Re: How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

I am so sorry :( It is one of the hardest things to do. With my past pets (cats) I was a mess but knew they were just suffering so much. Man I am crying now for you.

Re: How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

I'm so very sorry for your situation. We just had to go through this with my parent's collie back in April. He was such a loving dog and it was horrible to see him deteriorate like that. We trust our vet very much and back in October of last year we thought it was the end. The vet gave him steroid shots and a regimen of pills to take and it gave him some more time but ultimately they stopped helping. When we went back in April the vet said he could do another shot and he might bounce back for a little while longer but at what cost? He had no quality of life and we ultimately made the decision to let him go. It was so hard but I feel it was the right thing to do. Whatever you decide, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

ETA: Our dog had the exact same problems- hip displaysia, no use of his back legs, unable to walk/stand, he peed/pooped all over himself so he had mats in his fur and sores on his legs and belly. It was horrible.

ETAA: I will say this- don't make your DH go alone, if you can. It's absolutely heart breaking for you, for him, for your pet. If you have the strength to be there and hold him while he passes, do it. I was glad we were all there as a family for my parent's dog.

Message edited 12/23/2016 11:30:12 AM.

How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

One of the hardest decisions ever. I've had to put a couple of dogs to sleep and it is never easy and it hurts and hurts. But, as his "mom", you have to make the best decision for him. And although it is going to hurt you and your family - he won't be hurting anymore.
God, I feel like crying. I'm so sorry!!!

Message edited 12/23/2016 9:15:07 AM.

Re: How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

I can't even give advice; because I would be like you........not knowing what to do?

It is a lot on you though doing so much. And like you, knowing that the blood work is normal would make me question my decision a million times over. But knowing his/her quality of life isn't fair either. Ugh; its just so hard.

I hate for this day to come for me; and I am so sorry you have to go thru this right now.

Best of Luck in whatever decision you decide to make.

How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

It's the worst decision to have to make. I'm so sorry.

For me, like others have said, it is about his quality of life. Forgetting about the bloodwork, is he in pain daily? Does he seem happy at all? Or is he just getting by because you able him to be?

Re: How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

I'm so sorry. I am actually crying reading this. We lost our beloved dog back in May because she had a stroke and passed suddenly.

My rational brain would say to put him down, he has no quality of life and this isn't how you want to remember him- and you can prepare yourselves and your kids for it.

But Idk. The love in his eyes would kill me

ETA because I needed to change male/female pronouns

Message edited 12/23/2016 9:37:47 AM.

How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

A few years ago my cat of 15 years started deteriorating. There was really nothing I could really do. Going to the vet was a waste because I knew that financially I could not afford to help him the way he needed to be helped and I was not willing to do daily meds for him. At the time, I had just lost my mom to cancer as well and knew what she struggled with. I had made the decision that my cat had a good life. He had lived well. He deserved to not suffer at the end. We made the decision to put him to sleep and I asked my husband to take care of it for me. He kept putting it off because he loved the cat also. Well after 3 weeks of asking my husband to make the arrangements, I came home one day to my cat crying on the LR floor unable to move. I picked him up and put him on my lap and he passed away. I was devastated. I could not function for days.

If I had it to do all over again, I would have made sure that he had not suffered the way he did.

I also struggle with a dog with hip problems now. And I have said that I would take the same course of action. He will be given the best life that I can give him but when that becomes impossible I will let him go. No one deserves to suffer at the end of a good life.

Re: How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

Re: How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

I'm so sorry, I've been there so I know how hard it is.

I think despite the bloodwork, you HAVE to consider his quality of life. If the poor thing can't hold himself up, or walk, or even wag his tail you have to ask yourself.............what kind of life is that for him? Imagine if all you could do was lay around until someone lifted you up and you couldn't even go to the bathroom properly anymore? It would be so horrible. Dogs should be playful and run and walk. If all he's doing is laying there then I think you know what the answer is.

I'm really sorry, it's not an easy decision by any means, especially at this time of year.

How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

You just get to the point that you know. I had a 9 year old cat with perfect blood work but was incontinent for 2 years. Tried everything. Spent thousands at the vet. Final test would have been an almost 5k MRI and surgery which we were told the chance of it even helping was 5%. He would just shake and we couldn't hold him anymore and he couldn't cuddle. It was torture for all of us. Dh and I held him as we put him to asleep. It still hurts a couple of months later. People laughed at me because I paid $250 to have him privately cremated but we didn't care. He was our baby and deserved a proper burial. It sounds like you know it's time. But definitely do it with your dh so you can hold him and talk to him as he passes. I'm sitting her sobbing as I type this as I know how painful it is.

Message edited 12/23/2016 11:42:00 AM.

Re: How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

I have been there and it is the most awful decision to make so I completely feel for you. I will tell you that the love in their eyes never goes away but it sounds like your dog is ready. It is no way for him (or you guys) to live.

We were told all these different signs to look for and while some held true, some didn't and we just knew it was time.

We used a company that came to the house to do it because my BF couldn't bring himself to bring him in. They were wonderful. Patient, caring, and reassuring that we were doing the right thing. We got to hold him and he got to be home where he was comfortable.

Re: How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

I am so very sorry you are going through this, especially this time of year, but i think when you wrote that your dog has no real life you already know what you should do. I think it is time to say good bye, so very sorry.

Re: How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

We lost two cats in the past year. One had cancer and we did surgery and chemo and in the end nothing helped. She stopped eating but was still so happy to see us and purred when we pet her. We were in the middle of making the decision about what to do and couldn't bring ourselves to put her to sleep. My husband ended up finding her early one morning on the basement floor - she had passed away over night. I still feel horrible about the whole thing. We had her cremated by herself so we could keep the ashes. She was 12 as far as we know - we adopted her as an adult and I know we gave her an amazing life.
Our male cat got sick at the end of May - we took him to the vet and they did a small procedure but he was getting worse and there was really nothing else that they thought would help him. He stopped moving off the couch and eating. We would bring water and food to him. We knew what we had to do but put if off until a Friday because there was no way I could go to work the next day (i'm crying just typing this). We had someone come to the house so he wouldn't have to have the trauma of being put in a carrier and going to the vet. We stayed with him til the end and it was the hardest thing ever but I feel like we owed it to him. We think he was about 14-16 years old. He was also an adult when we adopted him and we had him for 8 years.
It's not an easy thing to do but think about their quality of life and not suffering. There are vets that will come to the house and I felt like for me it is better on the animal - in their own home with their family.
We have a 2 year old Sheppard and I can't even begin to imagine having to make this decision again someday.
So sorry you have to go through this.

How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

My family dog had cancer. The cancer had progressed pretty far by the time we discovered it-- we made the decision to take our chances and operate although it was a very expensive procedure and a 50/50 chance that it would help. They prepped him for surgery and once they opened him up they said the cancer had spread everywhere and they could not operate. For three days we struggled with the decision of whether or not or rather, when to put him to sleep. We just couldnt bring ourselves to do it. He ended up passing on his own in our home. I cry and get a terrible pit in my stomach every single time i think about it because I feel so guilty that we let him suffer for three days. It is one of the biggest regrets that I have in my life. If i had to do over again, I would have put him to sleep right away and not allowed him to suffer in his last days.

How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?

I am so sorry you are going through this. I am facing the same issue with my pit mix. It's heartbreaking.

Re: How to decide whether to put a pet to sleep or not?